Lack of progress (while staying safe)

[dowdstree]

I have every sympathy with you pharmaT as my niece had a similar problem with her ex partner and the courts.

Can I ask if your children have any contact with their father?

Dorrie

[Maiden Stone]

I saw the gardener's van in the street yesterday. He does some of my neighbours' gardens. He drove away before I could go out and speak to him.

My activity this week has consisted of:
Putting out, bringing back and re-arranging bins; Sunday, Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday. It was 1st time  this year for the 2 bins which went out so they were heavier than normal. I'm in a terraced house so each bin has a long journey to the street, along narrow, uneven path & lane. Each trip done in slow-motion. Pushing anything hasn't been easy since my operation.
A little weeding in back garden on Monday. Again slow-motion. Used long-handled weeding tool for dandelions. I leave dandelion flowers for queen bees, removing plants before they seed. I missed a magnificent dandelion behind a bench but it's safe for now as it's inaccessible.
Tuesday, intended weeding front garden (more dandelions) but couldn't be bothered. Some dandies (+ other weeds probably) are hidden by herbaceous plants. What the eye can't see ....  There's always next year, which is something I couldn't have said 6 months ago. I can look forward to an abundance of cheerful dandelions for queen bees next March. I was going to increase the number of yellow flowers in the front garden to lift my spirits in late winter but it was more daffs, crocus and winter jasmine I had in mind. Pots of bulbs have all dried up because I hardly watered them.
Wednesday I swept the path in the back garden. It was covered in blossom + other plant debris including flowers flattened by bin wheels. I did the entire path length in one go unlike last week when the path and the area around back door took 3 sessions. My yard brush is heavy but not as heavy as it was a few weeks ago. Then I got ambitious and brought out the heavy-duty moss-clearing brush. Gave up with that after a few minutes. At least I can lift the brush which is progress.
Thursday. Nothing. Tired + shoulder + muscles  sore after pushing + brushing.
Sweeping, pushing and lifting were on the list of forbidden activities 3 months ago.

I've spent a lot of time this week sitting in sunshine, watching 2 carder worker bees visiting flowers which have grown over paving; I think of them as flying teddy bears.  Also visualising changes to the garden. Dilemma - ivy has to go but it's a food plant of Holly Blue butterfly caterpillars - the butterfly in the garden recently might be home-grown. 

[Viktoria]

Well watching flowers grow is a full time occupation.
We have also been asked not to uproot dandelions as they are such a good food source,for many creatures, so you are getting it exactly right by leaving them alone.
Try to enjoy your garden and not worry if it is not how you want it, it is amazing what will take up residence with a little “ healthy neglect”.
Children thrive on that too!
Enjoy and relax , the colder weather is coming next week .
You have made a good effort , achieved something and so go easy on yourself.
Viktoria.

[candleflame]

PharmaT ......breathe. And keep breathing.
You sound like you have some very challenging things going on in your life and you are juggling all the plates. You can only do what you can do and I'm sure you prioritise the plates!  As you have kids, no doubt whatever their age, they know how to press your buttons,  but remember the lockdown isn't YOUR fault, it's the virus. Even if the kids are scared and they show it through having a go at you, that's because you're the one they can trust to sound off too.
You are doing a brilliant job, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. I was going to ask as dowdstree asks, do the kids have contact with their dad? Are they telling him things which may or may not be true.
Re housework , clean the bathroom and the kitchen. Don't worry about the rest unless it gets on your nerves. If you're going to clean the kitchen, and assuming your kids aren't little, just feed them then tell them for the next 20 minutes the kitchen is closed while you clean. They shouldn't then have any reason to go in there. Keep going and keep sounding off to us lot. We are with you .

[Maiden Stone]

Viktoria reply #47 & candleflame #48 

[coombs]

Lots of people like to feel big by bullying others, it shows they have severe issues with themselves, and says more about them than you. I have come across plenty of such people over the years. I once dated a woman who was quite demanding, when we broke up I felt happier again.

Nice to do some much needed housework and DIY during the lockdown, and becoming a Alan Titchmarsh as well by tarting up the garden but at your own pace, not someone else's. But nice to continue genealogy.