Diary > Monday 17th August

[Roobarb]

Was so tired last night, could hardly keep my eyes open. Woke a bit earlier today then seemed to drift off again. Have been feeling very low lately so decided to go for a walk on my favourite beach today. It was quite cloudy but brighter than the last few days.

Got parked easily, only a handful of people on the beach, had a good walk. The sea must have been rough last night, the normally smooth beach had a lot of undulations and shallow pools. Turned back when I was approaching civilisation, the sun was coming out. Really enjoyed my walk.

Came home and had some lunch then went out in the garden. It seemed to have rained heavily last night, everything was wet. Some of the plants in pots were looking worse for wear, especially the petunias. Did some small jobs and moved some of the empty plant pots, checked the plants on the fence to make sure they weren't growing over the other side. It was so peaceful, NN seemed to still be away, no spying on me or banging around making her presence known. Came indoors thinking what a lovely afternoon I'd had in the garden.

Spoke too soon, looked like she was back . Was in  the kitchen, it was a very still day but the plants on the fence were moving. Then I saw a hand come over the top of the fence cutting the shoots off my clematis. I opened the door and called over " Could you leave my clematis alone please?" She said "I was just....."  I didn't wait to hear her excuse for what she was 'just ' doing, I shut the door. Yet again she has upset me, I wish she would JUST leave me and my property alone .

[Annette7]

What on earth is wrong with this woman, Roobarb?   If it had been me I would just have to have heard the rest of that sentence 'I was just........'   before I shut the door.

Just wondering where everyone usually posting on these threads have gone?  Has been remarkably quiet just lately.

When I woke yesterday it was to another overcast day.   Thunderstorm was predicted at 3pm - never happened - and then they changed it to 5pm - didn't happen then either!    What we did get was some torrential rain that lasted around 15 minutes.   Our car park was flooded in places but soon dried out.   

Did nothing of any real consequence - just general tidying up and a nap in the afternoon.  Finished jigsaw to find one piece missing - hate when that happens as will have to bin it now instead of passing on to hospice depot.

Cumberland Pie for my meal followed by strawberry jelly and custard.   Watched George Gently and New Tricks, some RC and then bed.  Read for a while - currently reading 'Secrets of the Lighthouse' by Santa Montefiore.  Set in Connemara, Ireland.

Annette 

[BumbleB]

My apologies - I have been following the diaries, with interest, but have no real desire to contribute, however:

Roobarb - I do sympathise with your problems with NN, but possibly feel that you may be being over-sensitive - I obviously don't know the full details.

OK - NN cut down the growth on the adjoining fence which upset you.  So, is the clematis a new plant introduced to the same fence, or has it always been there?  If it is a new plant, then why have you done it?

Is there no other way of disguising the fence?  Perhaps painting, or hanging metal trellis images - just to break up the space. 

Sorry, if I'm causing more problems than solutions 

[louisa maud]

If it is your fence why is her nasty hand coming over to interfere,  I have a feeling from  your diary that  she must have a problem, wait till, she tells you her excuse and remind her it is your fence and your plants, I would have been inclined to have had a 6ft fence

Mind you, I  am  one to talk, we  put a new fence up, next door started hanging things onto the fence, the  one panel we  had to have  replaced,  you should have heard the language between her and her husband, our builder was banned from stepping into their garden to replace the one panel, but didn't  need to

We just want peace and quiet

Louisa Maud

[Roobarb]

BumbleB, to try and summarise why it's such a problem to me -

The problem started when I put something over part of the fence as my neighbour had a clear view across my patio and I had no privacy, the fencing boards are quite wide apart and there were no plants growing across that part. It was shortly after that that the plants further along started dying and ultimately there was a massive amount of dead stuff, enough to fill two wheelie bins and more. It was extremely extensive and looked an utter mess. Her excuse was that she just cut the bits at her side of the fence but I can clearly see that she has cut down near the root at my side, the only way she could do that is to have put the long handled pruning shears through the fence to cut it down.  I was removing armfuls of dead plants at a time. The plants have been on that fence much  longer than she has lived there, including the clematis which is just now recovering three months later. It is not a new plant but why shouldn't I put new plants in my garden? She also cut the top of the willow trellis that I had on part of the fence.
The shoots she cut off this week were not even on her side, I had made sure that nothing would grow through. The fence is 6 ft and she was reaching above it to get at the plants. I know exactly what her excuse would be - that she was only cutting it off at her side,which is just not true. It's not a question of just the appearance, she is the nosiest person I have ever met so it's not just a matter of disguising the space, it's about privacy.

As for being over sensitive - I live alone and the lockdown meant that during all the time I was forced to stay at home (I'm asthmatic) my garden should have been my sanctuary but instead it meant that not only the appearance of my garden was ruined but also that my every move could be watched. I was also unable to go out and buy materials to use to restore my privacy and when I took any steps at all my neighbour was straight there to see what I was doing. Living alone may have meant it had a greater effect on me than if someone else lived here too but it's not easy spending months alone and dealing with someone whose actions have been purely spiteful. 

I realise that I have posted many times on the diary thread about this situation and have received a great deal of support which has meant more to me than you might realise. However, I have no wish to take over the diary, albeit that the original intention was to talk about not only what we have been doing but also about our thoughts during lockdown. Maybe people feel that I have taken over with my saga and that's put people off posting, so I'll say no more about it.

[louisa maud]

Roobarb, please carry on posting your diary, I know things have slowed down a bit but it helps everybody from time to time to post their diary on here, we are all allowed to have opinions about what we write about and no doubt it has helped you when perhaps you have had no one to talk to, you have gathered friends on here, I haven't posted regularly as I don't seem to cram as much into my day as some of you RCers have done

I don't know the answer to your neighbour other than  trying to talk to her or approaching her daughter

Take care

Louisa Maud

[BumbleB]

Apologies, again - I'll shut up and go away 

[louisa maud]

No, you mustn't go away either, everyone is still entitled to their own opinion, it is sometimes difficult to put ourselves in other peoples  shoes, we have to remember that we are all different and we all see  things in different ways and cope differently, I   certainly am not strong enough mentally to challenge anyone and my neighbours  get away with things, others would challenge but not me and I suspect Roobard wouldn't challenge her  NN either

Louisa Maud

[candleflame]

I too read the diaries but often don't have much to post!
Please don't stop sounding off about any difficulties - a problem shared etc comes to mind- says she who bottles things up.
Roobarb a question - you said the fence panels gaps are/ were quite wide, so is the willow trellis that dense stuff that you can attach to a fence to cover the gaps? Is that all over the fence as if it's the stuff I'm thinking of, it should stop anyone seeing through. As long as it's not over 6feet, then the neighbour can't complain.
Our neighbours have four dogs. One they previously had who died used to hurl itself at the fence barking. When we wanted to replace the fence - it's our responsibility , we decided simply to ask the fencers to leave the old fence up and put a new one as close as possible to the old one. We lost about 2 inches of garden, but if the house was ever sold, the old posts are still in place. It saved a lot of hassle and stops the dogs seeing us, though they still bark if you go out to the bins, or start talking .
It could be a lot worse. They later built a massive shed which I gather has a hot tub in it! It's higher than 6 feet by about 8 inches, but as it blocks them off a large part of the fence, I'm not saying anything!