Diary > Wednesday 23rd September

[louisa maud]

I think we all have regrets  when it comes to death, mine was my father's death 1988, we were at the hospital and left after visiting, he wasn't awake but we said we would go back later, we had no idea he would be near to death, sadly they rang about 10.30, they had tried to contact me here but I was with my mother, a big delay, anyway I insisted we went back to the hospital  at 11.30 pm, after all we had promised to go back that evening, I imagine the staff really were not pleased at all but we did get to see him, realistically we shouldn't  dwell on whatifs,  things are as they are and it doesn't mean we thought less of them and I am sure they know it

Louisa Maud

[River Tyne Lass]

Such sad stories Viktoria and Louisa May.  I think you are right LM, I think many of us start having thoughts of regrets and think 'if only' when someone really close to us dies.  Even though we probably know that deep down this would not be how our loved ones would want us to feel.
Viktoria, even though your Mother was not a child psychologist she probably understood anyway that most siblings won't behave the same in a family.  Age, place and circumstances all come in to play. I think your Mother likely knew you both loved her in your individual ways.  It must have been so hard on families like yours getting split up  due to evacuation.  I have read about this and about how people sometimes felt like strangers and found it hard to readjust.  Some children went to a completely background and then became used to that it seems, and then had the upheaval of having to readjust again on return.  I know you have mentioned before that yours was a happier experience.  Perhaps you are a 'bloom where you're planted' type of person - which is a good thing.  It must have been so hard on the parents having to let go of their children too for their own good.  I can imagine that for many the bonds might have never quite felt the same after those exceptional circumstances.
Regarding your Dad, you did offer for him to come - he had a choice.  Also, of course you had to think of your boys.  You did the best for them in ensuring they didn't just have a weekend Dad.  I know it is only natural to have regrets but you were a loving daughter and loving Mother and you have tried to do your best by all.  I hope you can put those regrets to bed Viktoria.

[Viktoria]

Thanks,what you all say is true I know, and strangely were it one of you relating a similar story I would say the same.
The point about my Mum was although she would not want me to be sad,how it must have hurt that I did not cry after her.
However,some children “switch off,“ compartmentalise and put things to the back of their minds.
Don’t show emotion, not healthy really ,and I truly think I was saved from the
possible consequences of that by being with such kind people,out of my sister’s large shadow .
That too is why I am a daft extrovert, but life has been a laugh for most of the time!
The friend about whom I was so upset, is home. Her son is main carer but does have carers in now for very personal care.
Not totally clear in her mind but is smiling and so hopefully knows she is at home.
I did not think she would improve so much.
Sadly I don’t think I will see her again, given the restrictions,but it is not about me,is it, her family have her home .
So back to Bataan, ie the bathroom, nearly finished the ceiling, just one corner then the second coat is finished .
Just one wall two coats then skirting boards and door ,undercoat  and soft sheen white .
Job done.
Thanks again, one “Dadism”
He used to say he was ravished ,when very hungry .
Mum used to say “ No you are not, you are either ravenous  or famished!”
Viktoria.

[louisa maud]

They are what I call Hilda Bakers, she was one to mix up her words, done that myself , she meant to say " without fear of contradiction"  came out as "fear of contraception",  she was the comedienne  that said "  she knows yer know" in a strong accent

Louisa Maud

[Viktoria]

Yes ,her sidekick was Cynthia, never spoke .
Hilda Baker joke coming
A big game hunter was on safari  one day, noticed a trail of blood  so followed it and found an elephant obviously in great pain ,a big thorn was sticking out if its foot.
He could not leave it or kill it, so taking a chance he pulled the thorn .
The elephant gently felt his face with its trunk and fondled his neck and wandered off.
Some time later ,back in England he took his niece and nephew to the circus.
The final act was the elephants .
In they came ,each holding the tail of the one in front.
The last one paused ,looked hard at the Hunter, let go of the tail of the elephant in front ,and gently wrapped its trunk around  the hunter’s neck .
Aaaaw, do you know what did next?
Guess,go on guess.
Well it choked him because it was not the same elephant.

Sorry, I find it funny.

Well ceiling finished ,I must say this paint from Wilko’s is lovely to use.Wonderful coverage .
Well the bathroom paint is.
Need some sealant,you know for round the loo and washbasin so any water ore   not  get under the floor covering from hippopotamuses named
Flash  Harry.
Good feeling having almost finished thr bathroom.
I have nowhere to keep bathroom cleaning stuff , but a better arrangement
with the bath panel, short end would be possible,no room for any cupboard etc.
Sort it later.
Mind you ,when all this is over I want a smaller bath so then there will be room.
Always supposing I have not  drowned in this huge bath.
Lemon sole ,chips and peas for tea,abd the last ripe fig for now.Lovely.
Must phone my daughter to see how  her business will be affected by the new
Information.
.I really hope, Dad’s  birthday apart, you have all had as nice a day as me.
Music, some peace of mind thsnks to all your kind advice and words,
a good job three quarters done ,and looking good (the bathroom not me!I would be arrested for vagrancy if I stepped outside in my painting gear.)
So cheerio ,must phone a friend ,the call ,last  night from another dog  walking friend revealed a lovely choc ,has cancer.
So must phone her owner .
Viktoria.

[louisa maud]

When we replaced our bath we had a bath panel  on hinges that we could let down, I store all my toiletries  in there

LM

[Viktoria]

Brilliant idea!
That makes me think that instead of a plastic side  and end panel I could have wooden ones with a door somewhere.
The wall cupboard I want  is panelled ,the bath panel could be copied from that,when my trusty joiner can come again.
Thanks .
Viktoria.

[louisa maud]

It is surprising how much you can get behind the panel, i have a basket for soap the opposite end to the taps
LM