Minding our own business!

[zetlander]

Discovered a great uncle was imprisoned in 1910 for a serious assault on one of his children. 
Decided not to share this info with other relatives who are always interested in my family history research.
Then I thought if he'd won a prize, say, for Literature I'd be telling everyone.

I wonder should we share everything we find about our families - the good - the bad - the unmentionable or should we respect these forebears and keep quiet.

[Treetotal]

I find the social history of my ancestors to be fascinating and would record everything about them that I had learned, both good and bad, it is what makes them human. I enjoy finding out a bit scandal 
Carol

[panda40]

One of mine was arrested for molesting a child. He was given 6 months as he was only 18 at the time. If anyone asks about him I would tell them but I don’t say anything about it straight off.
Regards
Panda

[Kiltpin]

Each event must be taken on its merits. Standards and morals change, sometimes quite quickly. What was once scandalous, a decade later becomes accepted.   

Only you can judge what your people will want to hear.   

Regards 

Chas

[Kiltpin]

Further to that - you must record everything. We don't have the right to try and change history. Revealing what you know might best be left until all parties can handle the information. 

Regards 

Chas

[BumbleB]

Sorry, but history was what it was, whether we like it or not.  Who are we to pass judgement - we weren't there AT the time, and don't know the full circumstances.

[IgorStrav]

I'm not saying that the examples given here are excusable.

But many things which look 'bad' on the face of it may have extenuating circumstances which we will never really know about.

I have a newspaper report of the inquest on the death of one of my gx2 grandmothers who was reportedly drunk and found dead in the latrines of the pub.

But another version of the story is, she was poor, had many children, was pregnant again, and died alone after a haemorrhage and miscarriage, having bled to death in those lavatories.  What a terrible death, and I won't condemn her for having a drink or three beforehand.

With regard to telling the rest of the family, well only you can judge.

[iluleah]

I research and love doing it, however when I told my family I was going to start researching I was told to 'let sleeping dogs lie' given no help, told no stories , records they already held were with held from me........ I beleive because they thought it would stop me finding out, maybe they thought I couldn't research without their help........... so decades on I tell them nothing and a couple of times over the decades have been asked  and only to see if I had found the 'secrets' they thought they were hiding.

Then about a 15 years ago my mother told me my cousin was starting to research 'our' FH and said "maybe I could help him" why it was OK for him to research and not me I really don't know, maybe she thought because I had said nothing I had found nothing.... shes wrong but I won't tell her.


So for me it is an easy decision,  I don't bore people who are not interested in my hobby be it good or bad information.... as far as research goes I love it if I find a 'bad one' as there are more records to research, people are people they do good  and bad things, they are humans and it is all part of life.

[coombs]

My 2xgreat grandfather killed himself in rural Suffolk, the death cert says "poisoned himself with strychnine while of unsound mind". He had many children and was a miller. He was said to be quite under the weather in recent months and a neighbour in the inquest said he was a bit strange.

His grandson (my grandfather's cousin) did not seem to know about that suicide, but knew about him and wondered where he went to and what happened to him. I had found out what had happened to him already and did not want to tell a 92 year old man his grandfather killed himself.