Messages DNA match now I hope that they do not respond

[guest189040]

Working down my DNA matches trying to find a link to them I sent a Message to one match a week ago.

Last night I was working on another Match who does not have a tree, this one has no tree at all and the shared matches point to my Cheshire ancestors

One of the shared matches was the one I messaged, they had no Common Ancestor but a Tree of about 500 people. 

So I worked out who they were and started to build a Floating Branch in my Tree.  I built up quite a tree verifying that they had not made any obvious errors along the way.  I went back about 6 generations on the paternal line but nobody had a surname I recognized or were in the right locations.

Then I started on their maternal line and soon found a surname that I recognize and is in my tree but their family members were all over the place, with one born near Liverpool, Baptised in Derbyshire, married in North Yorkshire.

This line of theirs finds there way into Nobility.

Now as I was working through my own version I find that they had made a glaring error in their tree.   The person concerned where the error has been made is the one I quoted above and was already in my tree as the illegitimate Daughter of a sixteen year old who had a completely different ancestry to the one in my Matches Tree.  From my own research quite a few of my own xGreat Uncles and Aunts left Cheshire to work in the Factories in the Widnes/Prescot/St Helens area and that a cell of my ancestral names started to be built up within this area

I then linked my Floating Branch into my tree and checked the Relationship, which matches the DNA cM hence I am confident that my linkage to the DNA match is correct.

So now I am sort of hoping that the match does not respond to the Message as I do not really want to give them the bad news

[ThrelfallYorky]

- They probably won't believe it when you tell them! Someone has ascribed totally different parents and ancestry to my own Grandfather, and wouldn't take the information, although (if it was him) he'd have been so peripheral to their tree that to accept a correction wouldn't matter. I'd even found the correct person they needed, not my grandfather, and provided the correct ancestors for him....

[brigidmac]

They might be grateful if theyve not been understanding their DNA mstches
I know I would
Even if it means deleting a branch its worth it

You could word your findings in a way that leaves them to come to same conclusion yourself .

My mother had researched her"grandmother " back three generations and I was very worried about telling her it was wrong lady ....turned out the new grandmother was far more interesting !

[Romilly]

- They probably won't believe it when you tell them! Someone has ascribed totally different parents and ancestry to my own Grandfather, and wouldn't take the information, although (if it was him) he'd have been so peripheral to their tree that to accept a correction wouldn't matter. I'd even found the correct person they needed, not my grandfather, and provided the correct ancestors for him....

I’ve had many experiences of people not being prepared to accept that they’ve made mistakes on their Trees. I’ve even sent copies of BMD Certs to people, but they don’t change their Trees! And so I’ve given up bothering now...

Romilly.

[Andrew Tarr]

I'm sure RootsChat could fill a whole new page with Believe What You Want to Believe threads.  It's what most people do, and is closely related to Nimbyism.

Sorry ... 

[ThrelfallYorky]

Agree, Andrew Tarr - but it'd overload the system, wouldn't it?
TY

[guest189040]

I'm sure RootsChat could fill a whole new page with Believe What You Want to Believe threads.  It's what most people do, and is closely related to Nimbyism.

Sorry ... 

Oh you are so right.

[melba_schmelba]

- They probably won't believe it when you tell them! Someone has ascribed totally different parents and ancestry to my own Grandfather, and wouldn't take the information, although (if it was him) he'd have been so peripheral to their tree that to accept a correction wouldn't matter. I'd even found the correct person they needed, not my grandfather, and provided the correct ancestors for him....

I’ve had many experiences of people not being prepared to accept that they’ve made mistakes on their Trees. I’ve even sent copies of BMD Certs to people, but they don’t change their Trees! And so I’ve given up bothering now...

Romilly.

I think some people just see it as someone coming out of the blue, and in a round about way telling them that they are stupid, and you (who is doing the telling) probably think you know it all about genealogy, they think you are a know it all etc. etc. So it gets their backs up and sometimes they just dig their heels in or sulk and refuse to change it, or just pretend it's not really wrong. It's easier if they are not the only one who has made the mistake, or worse if many others have copied their error, and they then feel you are going to make them look stupid having to tell all their close relatives they've traced the wrong line or its just 'strength in numbers' .

[ThrelfallYorky]

I'm sure that most people who do feel they have to contact the owner of a tree to point out an error do it quite courteously, explaining how/why we have the proof that the relationship(s) they have down are very unlikely to be correct, and stressing that we would like to be informed if we'd got something similar wrong, especially if it involved haring off up a very wrong route, and proffering further information and help.
TY