Author Topic: Denial of heritage?  (Read 1781 times)

Offline Ruskie

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #9 on: Saturday 24 October 20 10:01 BST (UK) »
Maggbill, I took the liberty of asking a moderator to merge your threads.  :)


Moderator Comment: Ruskie - thanks - topics now merged :)

Offline Skoosh

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #10 on: Saturday 24 October 20 11:11 BST (UK) »
Racist aggression in Scotland against the English is a piece of nonsense, when did the English become a race for a start?

Skoosh.

Offline majm

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #11 on: Saturday 24 October 20 11:33 BST (UK) »
If you use your Report to Moderator button, I am sure they could merge the two threads.  :)

I share an experience... 
1994, regional New South Wales.  A neighbour sends her young son (4 year old, not yet school age) to our place with a message "Mum says can I stay here until Dad gets home."  Of course I agreed,  and quickly made him something to eat while I pondered what was going on... Margaret had not phoned me, the school bus had dropped off her daughter,  and the young boy told me his big sister arrived home crying and was still crying when his mum sent him to me.  I phoned his Dad's office, but the Secretary said he had already left on a family emergency. 

I won't go into all the details BUT it turned out that the daughter was very upset in her class, she was THE ONLY ONE who still had the same mum and dad all the way from her birth.  She was upset because she wanted to be like everyone else, but she did not want to choose which parent "to give up" ...

It turned out the class teacher had been talking about family structures and diversity and children on access visits to divorced parents and step families ... and was encouraging her students towards accepting differences, not just based on ethnicity or language or heritage but also at a very practical level eg learning minor rules for each household and cooperating with each of the households rules.  ... bedtimes, washing up, tv program choices, how to address step parent, step grandparents etc...

Our neighbours daughter had asked a question and discovered "everyone else" had at least one NEW parent ...

Thus the lass had this very significant meltdown while on her way home after school.

Mr & Mrs neighbour-to-us are still a couple, still keep in contact with us, the lass is now married with young children, the lad has no memory of that afternoon and what turned into an overnight sleep-over at our home. 

BUT it took the combined efforts of her mum and dad and her four grandparents who all came straight away, one set drove for around 400 kms non stop., and the class teacher who also came to that home that evening. 

Why did I share the above ... well the neighbours were not born in  Australia.  One was born and raised in Japan of Japanese parentage.  One was born and raised in Italy, of Italian parentage.   The couple had met in Sydney NSW as adults.  They and their respective sets of parents and siblings had migrated to NSW at various times in the 1970s and 1980s. 

The teacher had not spoken about racial discrimination, but about step relationships ... So the discussion was not about skin colour or facial features but about the unseen aspects of changes in a childs life in their families.

So it is not always easy to recognise the triggers that lead to discrimination and without that understanding it is very likely that it will continue to be difficult to overcome bigotry. But that is no excuse for avoiding the opportunity to research family history.

I believe that understanding local history in its time and place is very important, as context helps to provide relevance to the family history information being found.

JM  edited to correct spelling and grammar ... one finger typing in tiny dialogue box on e reader...  ::) ::) ::)




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Offline J.R.Ellam

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #12 on: Saturday 24 October 20 12:02 BST (UK) »
I lot of the denial comes from modern teachings.

In history we are often told about the top 20% of the society but never told about the rest of the population that built the empire. We are told how great Brunel was but never told how those who built his railways & ships lived and died. It never tells how those labourers often with large families, would live in 2 room houses, (if they were lucky) and that they didn't have access to medical help or that when they got into financial trouble they would be just thrown out on the street to fend for them selves.

You always have to remember, as my father would say;  you are not born with prejudice it is instilled into you. What you have to do is learn from the past and not follow it.

John
Ellam, Mills, Ellins
Firth, Wood, Muffitt
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Offline Viktoria

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #13 on: Saturday 24 October 20 12:08 BST (UK) »
I think that yes indeed our ancestors could teach us a lot ,and conversely we them,were it possible.
But we cannot change the already happened ,hopefully we can the yet to come.
I have not found any ancestors who were not British ,and that could have impoverished my gene pool , etc.
But if we can welcome good changes   ,discard what is not so good  and most importantly recognise the difference ,then that is a good way forward.
Is a happy second partnership worse than an abusive first one?
Well, children suffer in these situations and many women stayed put for their sakes ,was that really better ?or would it have been better to leave?
Hard to judge because of  course  financially women often  had no power to often do anything but stay .
They could lose their children too if they  left the marital home .
Never having had to make such a choice I should not be in any way judgemental.
But sadly a sensitive child will always wonder” was it me”,I have spent hours
sitting with such children, distraught at their parents’  break up.
We make apologies ,try to make amends for past errors,but we cannot alter the past .
So to move forward ,free of prejudice is the only answer as far as ethnicity
goes.
People should be judged by deeds not race or colour.
Things are moving on., how long before we stop seeing “ colour” first and the person second though ?
As you  visit hospitals ,need your pharmacists help  etc ,you do appreciate the
skills and dedication brought to NHS by other races.
We have much to thank them for .
Viktoria.

Offline iluleah

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #14 on: Saturday 24 October 20 16:13 BST (UK) »
Reality is FH is your hobby, not your families hobby and NO ONE has any influence on or can change who their ancestors were, nor are 'we' responsibile for anything any ancestor did good or bad...we have what we have like it or not.....what we can do is learn from our research and enjoy our hobby doing the best research we can to ensure we have all the proof we need in record form...........then we are passing on real proved ancestry should others in the family show interest now or later on
Leicestershire:Chamberlain, Dakin, Wilkinson, Moss, Cook, Welland, Dobson, Roper,Palfreman, Squires, Hames, Goddard, Topliss, Twells,Bacon.
Northamps:Sykes, Harris, Rice,Knowles.
Rutland:Clements, Dalby, Osbourne, Durance, Smith,Christian, Royce, Richardson,Oakham, Dewey,Newbold,Cox,Chamberlaine,Brow, Cooper, Bloodworth,Clarke
Durham/Yorks:Woodend, Watson,Parker, Dowser
Suffolk/Norfolk:Groom, Coleman, Kemp, Barnard, Alden,Blomfield,Smith,Howes,Knight,Kett,Fryston
Lincolnshire:Clements, Woodend

Offline coombs

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #15 on: Saturday 24 October 20 16:28 BST (UK) »
No one can tell me who and who not to research in my tree, the more people say "Best leave things in the past where they belong" will just make me more determined to find out. You cannot choose your ancestry. I recently found a gateway ancestor from Essex back to Befordshire, then before them to Wales then before them some lines back to The Emerald Isle.
Researching:

LONDON, Coombs, Roberts, Auber, Helsdon, Fradine, Morin, Goodacre
DORSET Coombs, Munday
NORFOLK Helsdon, Riches, Harbord, Budery
KENT Roberts, Goodacre
SUSSEX Walder, Boniface, Dinnage, Standen, Lee, Botten, Wickham, Jupp
SUFFOLK Titshall, Frost, Fairweather, Mayhew, Archer, Eade, Scarfe
DURHAM Stewart, Musgrave, Wilson, Forster
SCOTLAND Stewart in Selkirk
USA Musgrave, Saix
ESSEX Cornwell, Stock, Quilter, Lawrence, Whale, Clift
OXON Edgington, Smith, Inkpen, Snell, Batten, Brain

Online BumbleB

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #16 on: Saturday 24 October 20 16:29 BST (UK) »
I'm not sure why anyone researching family history would want to deny their heritage - it was what it was, when it was AND we can't change the past to suit ourselves.

I'm just glad that, so far, I haven't found a murderer within the family.  :)
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Offline louisa maud

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Re: Denial of heritage?
« Reply #17 on: Saturday 24 October 20 16:53 BST (UK) »
We cannot change the past

Louisa Maud
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