Diary > Sunday 6th December

[Roobarb]

Well it looks like I'm not the only one who hadn't got round to posting Sunday's diary so here's mine now:

It was pouring down with rain when I got up and continued for some hours. Spent a while reading then had a long chat on the phone with a friend. Always good to catch up with her and hear what she's been up to within the confines of our current situation.

The rain continued after lunch so I did some cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen. It finally cleared out so I went out, was taking a short route across the field with the intention of getting on the path through the woods. The water was standing in pools among the grass, as I got towards the path I could see three youths on two motorbikes on the other part of the field going round and round. They shouldn't have been there, they were slithering about and as I was approaching the path they were heading towards me. I stopped and waited to see what they would do, I felt quite nervous, there was no-one else around. They then went along the path in the woods, I turned and went along the walkway instead. Did a circle around the estate then back along the same path. I bumped into the friend of a friend who I'd met in the woods very recently, she was with her husband. They said that the youths on the motorbikes had gone, we had a moan about people like them who have no respect for anyone else.

Back home I did some upstairs cupboard sorting, it never ends, sometimes I feel like just throwing the whole contents out. Made some changes to my Tesco order for next week. Raided the freezer for things to make a Sunday dinner from, not because it's Sunday, just because that's what I fancied.

Watched the last part of War of the Worlds, I haven't read the book so I'm not sure how closely it sticks to the original. I suspect that the social comments about the earth's population being punished for its previous actions was possibly a modern addition.

Hope it was a decent day for all.

[pharmaT]

Some of my Christmas shopping was delivered today.  So that's a positive. 

Still wrestling with Ancestry trying to upload my sources and they're still disappearing.  I had decided to cheat and just open up SP and copy and paste the reference instead of uploading images and free typing all the details.  I know that proper people won't approve and tell me off for populating tree from indexes but I do have the actual source I'm just pathetically lazy and irresponsible that I cannot bring myself to spend all that time uploading it onto Ancestry.  It has highlighted another technical issue though.  My browser keeps asking if I want SP translated from German into English, weird!

Roast chicken dinner tonight.

[oldfashionedgirl]

Pharma T
I don’t think you are ‘pathetically lazy’ as you say and I’m sure others don’t either.
Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate with family at home and a job as well, all single handed.
I’m saying this in a kind way, give yourself a break, sometimes “Good enough is good enough”
that’s the motto I stuck to when mine were young and my other half was always at work doing extra hours.
There will be time enough to index and reference your family history when you children have flown and you’re retired 

[pharmaT]

Pharma T
I don’t think you are ‘pathetically lazy’ as you say and I’m sure others don’t either.
Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate with family at home and a job as well, all single handed.
I’m saying this in a kind way, give yourself a break, sometimes “Good enough is good enough”
that’s the motto I stuck to when mine were young and my other half was always at work doing extra hours.
There will be time enough to index and reference your family history when you children have flown and you’re retired 

Retirement is never going to be a possibility unfortunately.  I also had people sneering at me for not caring and not knowing about research process because I don't have me sources attached to the Ancestry copy of my tree. Oh and I'm 'just a name collector" because I have too many people especially with "no sources" so I'm trying to make amends and I don't like breaking promises and I promised to fix it.

[Caw1]

Pharma T - please don’t beat yourself up over this....in the end it’s for your use it’s not like you’re presenting it to anyone to scrutinise what you’ve done.... life’s far too short to be so concerned about things that don’t really matter!
You’re a hard worker, looking after your two girls and trying to live your life!

As oldfashionedgirl says good enough is good enough!

Roobarb- glad to hear you’ve been busy doing lots of clearing out tidying up etc...well done getting out for your walk too despite the conditions.

Caroline

[Caw1]

My diary....

Far too tired last night to submit one and today has already been whirlwind start....

Yesterday was a very foggy frosty morning... OH was out to play golf first time since before second lock down...good luck with that then...
I settled down in the warm to read the Sunday papers....
Had a bit of a tidy up and then phoned a friend who I’d not spoken to for a while and we had a lovely long chat by the time we’d finished we both decided we were hungry and it was lunch time! Had poached egg on toast... limited bread left as really should have been baked but out on the golf course was the order of the day...
I thought I’d emboss all the inside of my cards with a ‘merry Christmas’ well after I’d done more than half I got fed up... embossing powder all over the place it’s hard to keep it from floating about how ever careful you are!..
OH home and freezing cold so a good strong hot cuppa soon restored him...
Daughter FaceTimed us and T took us on a tour of the house showing us all the decorations nd lights they’d been busy putting up... their two bedrooms looked like a night club with flashing lights...sure the plug will get pulled out at night time!
Talking to our daughter we’ve come to the horrible decision that we’re not going to go down to them on 24th for the day... OH suddenly came out with not being too happy about being inside their house...😱😱😢😢new to me as he’d not said anything... we talked about meeting up somewhere on 23rd as everywhere will be shut on 24th...I’m gutted... perhaps in the back of my mind I’d been wondering if we should but now for it to be said ... I could have hit him... daughter was understanding and said what ever were comfortable with they will be too... interesting SiL father and partner not going up either... so now no Father Christmas jelly to do for them... what do I do with the Black Forest gateau that’s in the freezer... more to the point what’s she going to do with a largish turkey and other side of the family and SiL are vegetarians.... watch this space...
Got dinner sorted steak pie with out the kidney as hadn’t got any... used up all mushrooms and onions (shopping day Monday) so put leeks in instead... had some puff and short crust pastry to use up and we had last of carrots and cabbage..
Sat and watched rugby Oz and Argentina... a draw ..
After dinner I started to write my cards whilst OH watched the snooker finals... it was a match that was dragging on so I finally having got writers cramp went to bed as had to be up early for shopping...

 Caroline

[River Tyne Lass]

PharmaT, it seems that you are often self disparaging.  I wonder if you might have lived at some point in such a critical and harsh environment that you have internalised this view and now try to get the boot in first?  Perhaps this might also feel like only way to get reassurance that you are not a bad person and that you are doing okay? 
Please be more compassionate to yourself to try to break out of this cycle of self criticism.  Try to think more good things about yourself and praise yourself, even if at first you don't really believe it and it might feel weird.  I am sure in time with practise you will come to accept that you are as good as all the 'proper' people out there (if such people really exist) and good enough is good enough.

[Roobarb]

PharmaT, I agree with everything the other Rootschatters have said, try to ignore the nasty comments, you know how much you have put into it and that's what counts.

Very sorry to hear that your Christmas plans won't be going ahead Caroline, you must be so disappointed. Perhaps your OH was reluctant to voice his concerns as he knew you would be disappointed - unfortunately as we know, these things are better said sooner than later.
As for the turkey, perhaps she could cook it then freeze the rest of the meat until people are not sick of looking at it, then make it into curries etc. How long will the gateau keep okay for in the freezer? Might come in handy for another occasion.
Hope you're feeling better about the situation today.

[Viktoria]

Well , my  daughter  will phone this evening and expect a definite answer
about am I going to them for Christmas.
I really don’t feel like going anywhere - but staying here .
I have Dr’s appt on 18 th, and how I am for travelling and being up and down rickety 500 year old stairs  in her cottage etc depends on that,
Several visits to the bathroom ( downstairs)in the night ,due to medication means I disturb the rest of the house,the doors close with latches and are incredibly noisy .
I just want to stay here and in my own home, I can have the TV as loud as I wish, I choose the TV programmes,,despite very sincere and polite enquiries as to my preference ,I can never say-  I always fit in,so my fault really but it means motor racing , motorbike racing  etc.
Flash Harry ,well ,can he go into the house ?
I won’t be able to cuddle him.
I have been to hospital and the Dr’s ,so have broken my bubble.
Dr’s again on 18th, for treatment ,then we will see the situation.
As Scarlett O ‘ Hara said, “ Tomorrow is another day”!
I am not used to company now after almost a year alone ,eyes etc in January,
then lockdown..
As I understand it, you should not have left your bubble for a fortnight prior to visiting anyone.
But it is all so complicated..
Even at the hospital.the Specialist was gowned masked and hair covered ,as if for Theatre, but whilst he was examining my eyes ,young Doctors were continually in and out  of the room,no gowns or gloves  or masks!
It was a farce. Because they did not keep any space between them  and me.
Moan over ,.
Pharma I think you are seeking re- assurance about your research.
Keep in your mind it is for your pleasure ,nothing to do with anyone else .
Who does it really  hurt  if you get the odd thing wrong?
Nice to be 100% accurate but nothing is cast in stone and can be adjusted.
Take no notice,of hyper critical people who overstep the bounds of ordinary manners.
You have had encouraging remarks from more people I think than the other sort.
Keep it fun., be adaptable  , and disregard comments that are not really helpful but which are quite nasty.

I looked at my Christmas card list ,so many still to go!,And I bet only half bother to send any this year.
Well almost time  for Corrie, Yasmeen’s trial.
Just  time to make a cuppa I think .
Cheerio. Viktoria.

Cheerio folks .