Author Topic: Rape or incest: what a choice!  (Read 288 times)

Offline Davedrave

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Rape or incest: what a choice!
« on: Wednesday 13 January 21 09:42 GMT (UK) »
It would seem that someone in the family tree was brought up to believe that their unknown father was a man in the household where the mother was in service, who had raped her. Certainly the mother was in service at this time (pre First World War) according to census info. No maiden name appears on the childís birth certificate.

All of the individuals concerned are now deceased, some more than a century ago. The child was brought up in the home of its grandparents, at least for some years, and apparently the grandmother was very kind to her grandchild. The mother later married, and the childís stepfather was also kind, but the mother was not, and disliked the child.

Quite late in life it seems that the child learned from a sister of the childís mother (possibly during an argument) that the truth was that her father was in fact her grandfather. It would seem to be a very strange thing to say if not true.
The child was badly shaken by the revelation and revised its opinion of the grandmother (dead long before). However, when these events took place the mother must have been away from home and in service for quite some time.

What to believe?

Online Mike in Cumbria

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Re: Rape or incest: what a choice!
« Reply #1 on: Wednesday 13 January 21 09:57 GMT (UK) »
If the grandfather really was the father, it was most likely rape AND incest. At this distance, you're probably never going to get a definitive answer though.
"No vegetable grows in vain.."

Offline Davedrave

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Re: Rape or incest: what a choice!
« Reply #2 on: Wednesday 13 January 21 10:13 GMT (UK) »
If the grandfather really was the father, it was most likely rape AND incest. At this distance, you're probably never going to get a definitive answer though.

I must say I hadnít thought of that, since Iíd assumed that if it was a case of incest then it would have been consensual. I should also have added in my original post that another sister of the mother was apparently angry with the sister who told the child, because of the effect the news would/did have on her.  I have found that this sister was also in service and also had a child out of wedlock, which also appears in the grandparents household on the census.

What may be significant is that it would seem that the grandfather died in an asylum about a year after the daughter had married. However, this was a few years after the birth of the child (or maybe children :o?)


Online Griff-2

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Re: Rape or incest: what a choice!
« Reply #3 on: Wednesday 13 January 21 10:28 GMT (UK) »
That's very sad.
I had a gf years ago who's father had left the family home when my gf was young, she often asked her mother about him but she never
had anything good to say about him.
One day when my gf asked again, her mother exploded and blurted out "he's not your father, your grandfather is"
My gf was devistated as you can imagine, she even had to seek counselling.
But it turned out he wasn't, it was said in the heat of the moment. The damage that one statement did was immeasurable.
Griff
ackland. lymington/southampton
hulme.   biddulph moor/southampton
mcrea.   aberdeen/southampton
gordon.  aberdeen
weir.      aberdeen/southampton
griffiths. llannefydd
roberts. llannefydd
davies. ffestiniog/llannefydd
linton.  southampton
callen. eling/totton

Online Mike in Cumbria

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Re: Rape or incest: what a choice!
« Reply #4 on: Wednesday 13 January 21 10:29 GMT (UK) »
Whatever the truth, it's obviously a sad story that had repercussions long afterwards.
"No vegetable grows in vain.."