A hypothetical 3,500cM match

[Zaphod99]

I'm probably creating a rod for my own back but I recently convinced Mr Zaph to pay for a DNA test for himself, even though he isn't really interested in my hobby. We've been together for a million years, but I was teasing, asking him what he would feel like if he discovered that he had an unknown son or daughter from his misspent youth. He assures me he didn't have a misspent youth, and was, let's say, careful in this area. I just wondered, gentlemen, what you would do if you discovered in your later years that you had an unknown child? The way I see it is that if it was a child of a long-term girlfriend you would have heard about it and it might be disruptive to your current situation to make contact with a previous girlfriend and if it was a child of, let's say, a one night stand, would you actually be interested in hearing from the child? 

Zaph

[Flemming]

Interesting question that gets asked a fair bit amongst us. Views range from being gobsmacked but inviting them in for a cuppa, to denying it all (not sure how that's possible given a 3,500 cM match but something similar has happened within our circle). I find that people get more relaxed about it the older they get.   

[brigidmac]

The definition on ancestry of that amount is parent OR child
So there's always the possibility that its an unknown parent NOT child that they are discovering .!!

[DavidG02]

I have already tested with my mother and my fathers line has been confirmed so it would be a child from a not so careful youth

I would welcome it. I would hope they allow me into their lives and to find out another branch would be wonderful

It would be akin to cracking a brickwall and finding out there are more people to discover

[emeraldcity]

The definition on ancestry of that amount is parent OR child
So there's always the possibility that its an unknown parent NOT child that they are discovering .!!

Or a parent's long lost twin? 

[Garry Edgar2]

I'm probably creating a rod for my own back but I recently convinced Mr Zaph to pay for a DNA test for himself, even though he isn't really interested in my hobby. We've been together for a million years, but I was teasing, asking him what he would feel like if he discovered that he had an unknown son or daughter from his misspent youth. He assures me he didn't have a misspent youth, and was, let's say, careful in this area. I just wondered, gentlemen, what you would do if you discovered in your later years that you had an unknown child? The way I see it is that if it was a child of a long-term girlfriend you would have heard about it and it might be disruptive to your current situation to make contact with a previous girlfriend and if it was a child of, let's say, a one night stand, would you actually be interested in hearing from the child? 

Zaph

My wife is adopted and we used ancestry to find her father.

We found him via her matches to his cousins and then contacted him and his daughter on social media. The daughter is my wife’s half sister.

She didn’t really understand what we were researching and eventually gave us her dads phone number.

We called him and initially my wife wanted to know if he remembered her mother. He said he didn’t and so it took a while to agree to a DNA test.

His reasoning was ,”there was a lot of girls back then and I can’t rule out anything “!