DNA ethnicity logic check / Unexpected result

[Galium]

Not at all - that chart is a great and easy guide for me, so it's perfect! Thanks a lot for bringing it to my attention. I did try the paper thing, but it didn't reveal much. I did learn a member of that family, very sadly, died in a crash in my home town the same year as I born (and he wasn't very old, so couldn't have been my father).

I did speculate that perhaps his father and my father *could* have been the same person perhaps, as presumably his father (or another male member of his family) would have been in the area at some point around the time I would have been conceived - but, again, that's just wild speculation based on ideas my brain is spitting out...

That's not really "wild speculation" is it?  If somebody from the family of your Irish relatives is actually your biological father (I'm sorry, because this has come as a shock to you and you are having to deal with that) then he must have been wherever your mother was at some point, mustn't he?

Do  this family have connections with your home town, other than that it was the place where someone died?  If they don't, do they know why the child, and whoever was with him, were in the area?  Do they know who was with him, and if so, what relation that person was to your close matches?
What work did your mother do, that might have brought her into contact with these people while they were here?

[AndyH81]

While I do appreciate the offers of help in building the family tree, and I meant this without disrespect to anyone, I'm just not sure I am comfortable with complete strangers having access to my DNA profile.

[AndyH81]

That's not really "wild speculation" is it?  If somebody from the family of your Irish relatives is actually your biological father (I'm sorry, because this has come as a shock to you and you are having to deal with that) then he must have been wherever your mother was at some point, mustn't he?

If you have absolutely no idea whether a person is directly related to you, let alone whether or not you could have the same father, or if the possible mutual father was in the area, then - yes - I would call that wild speculation.

All I know is that a person in that family was in my home town at a similar time I would have been conceived and, from that, I am speculating that other family members might have been in the area at the time. So right now it's really just an unsupported syllogism.

[Galium]

I'm sorry, I have no wish to offend, and of course you don't know from direct word of mouth evidence that the person whom you know was in the area is a direct relative.

 But you have very clear DNA evidence that this family are related to you.  If there was a mistake with your test kit, and you had somehow got the wrong results, you would not also have matches with your mother's family.

For comparison, my closest match is of 172cM. We share great grandparents.  There is no question at all that we are related. 

[Heb66]

Hi ,
It really can't be that hard to figure this out !!
With a dna match of 543 centimorgans.
I wish many of my searching adoptees had such a DNA jackpot who have a heart longing urge to reconnect with their families.
As a volunteer DNA search angel, over the years I have reconnected many adoptee's with their birth parents with DNA matches of 50 centimorgans with methodical research and other tools I have available.
Stay safe everyone x x

[Heb66]

Hi again,
I totally agree with GALIUM..........well said !! x x

[Rosinish]

While I do appreciate the offers of help in building the family tree, I'm just not sure I am comfortable with complete strangers having access to my DNA profile.

I too feel for you in this dilemma & having to deal with it as it can't be easy, given the circumstances of finding out but I wish you luck in finding your roots.

You don't need to give access to your DNA details.

You can send the info. from the trees you've viewed to Heb66 or if they're public trees then a link to them & take it from there?

543 cMs is definitely one of the highest I've seen for an unknown relation & well worth investigating even if it involves help which can be worked out.

It would be worthwhile checking out reasons for an Irishman being in your town/county at the time of your conception.
I'm sure you said you were 40 yrs i.e. 1979-80 depending on when you were born.

What industries were on the go, were there any Army/Navy/RAF sites, any fishing ports & try to link up what the possibilities were from the area in Ireland your matches lived.
It could've been something simple e.g. a friend's smoker/wedding/funeral or holiday?
It would be worth asking those questions of your matches as it may get them searching deeper out of curiosity alone?

Annie

Add...I forgot to mention, is there any of your mother's friends of that era still living who may be able to give you some info?
It's amazing how little snippets can form a wider picture!

[AndyH81]

Okay... is there anyone here I could just send a spreadsheet too or something? Let me know what details you need, and I am happy to do it that way. I'd just assumed people would need to have the DNA file itself. Any volunteers???

Sorry, I really never intended to sound ungrateful for the offer, I'm just a little bit cagey about that kind of stuff because I want to know exactly how 'me' is being used, by whom, and where.

Having spoken more with the closest match, it seems it is possible that one of her grandfathers is a candidate for my biological father. I believe he would be English, but his wife was born in Ireland and would be the connection to the Irish family (I think!). Unfortunately these men have all since passed away quite young, is my understanding.

Her mother is going to do a DNA test too, so that (by rights) should highlight what relationship her mother and I have - which I assume will narrow down the search in a relatively major way.

I am also working on the assumption that there might be more half-siblings out there too, depending on circumstances.

[AndyH81]

I too feel for you in this dilemma & having to deal with it as it can't be easy, given the circumstances of finding out but I wish you luck in finding your roots.

You don't need to give access to your DNA details.

You can send the info. from the trees you've viewed to Heb66 or if they're public trees then a link to them & take it from there?

543 cMs is definitely one of the highest I've seen for an unknown relation & well worth investigating even if it involves help which can be worked out.

It would be worthwhile checking out reasons for an Irishman being in your town/county at the time of your conception.
I'm sure you said you were 40 yrs i.e. 1979-80 depending on when you were born.

What industries were on the go, were there any Army/Navy/RAF sites, any fishing ports & try to link up what the possibilities were from the area in Ireland your matches lived.
It could've been something simple e.g. a friend's smoker/wedding/funeral or holiday?
It would be worth asking those questions of your matches as it may get them searching deeper out of curiosity alone?

Annie

Add...I forgot to mention, is there any of your mother's friends of that era still living who may be able to give you some info?
It's amazing how little snippets can form a wider picture!

So, my father divulged that my mother used to be 'addicted' to the old CB radio and would spend hours chatting to strangers on there (male and female). Every now and then he would come home and find one of them having coffee or watching TV with my mother. He never actually caught her cheating, but I believe the distrust lead to the breakdown in their marriage. So both he and I suspect that if it was anyone, it would be one of those people. But that, obviously, could be anyone from anywhere in whatever radius the CB picked up. That, of course, is also speculation because there's nothing backing it up.

I do know that the grandmother of my highest match lived on the same street as my own grandparents at about the same time. They may have even interacted, although we have no evidence of that. My dad doesn't remember her gran, and her gran doesn't remember my grandparents.

Sadly, I only ever knew one of my mother's friends and I have not seen her in at least 20 years. I suppose there's a possibility she could even be dead - I have absolutely no idea how to get in contact with her, and I know my dad wouldn't know either.