Hello and thank you 'Dizzifish' and 'Annie 65115', 'djm297 - I know about the medals. There was a lot of disease of course, and I believe more of the soldiers died of that than in the fighting.
You are all wonderful. I'm ecstatic! I'm 84 and want to whoop around the house! You have no idea how I've agonised over this. I wish my mother was alive [at 107] to know this. In fact all the family should know. My theories of aggrandisement are probably true, because it all sounded a bit "Mill's and Boonish'', with Martha described as 'beautiful', and the son-of-the-house etc....; a great love story, of course. With all the terrible poverty my family lived through, they needed something bright and romantic in their lives, which were very hard, like most ordinary people's were. I believe Martha Marsh was born in Herne [Blean] Workhouse; another mystery to sort. My early family lived in dread of the Workhouse.
I am definitely vindicated in my search and assumption made about 3 or 4 years ago, that the Alfred Crosland that you & I all found, and have quoted, was g.g.dad's father. I need to fill in a bit more to the story for you; hope I'm not being tedious, but it complements what you found for me and my extended family.
I saw somewhere a few years or so back, and never recorded the URL, that g.g.dad's mother, Martha, and John Sandy had a registered understanding regarding marriage [or something, can't remember the exact term], so how she came to go to Nottingham, or why, I still don't know, and I did see her name in some records [not Census] as living with the quoted Crosland family. I've not been able to source that since. In our family the Crossland name is always double 's' and I know it gets both spellings. The Crosslands were said to have wanted to accept her and young Frank into the family as if she and Alfred had actually married, but she said 'no' and had to stop the gifts of clothes and money sent after she returned to Blean, because of John Sandy's behaviour.
Yes, Martha did marry John Sandy as we know, and all of that is correct and known by my family. I am descended through Frank Alfred Marsh and Elizabeth Anderson's eldest daughter, Alice Annie Marsh [marr. Merritt]; my mother was Elsie May, her 7th child, b.1915.
John Sandy treated Frank Alfred appallingly, beating him a lot, calling him 'bastard', and so on [so poor Martha, I've often wondered what she went through]. At 12 years old Frank left home and went sea. He returned to see his mother once he was an adult and, according to how his stepfather greeted him, would attempt a reconciliation. He was greeted with - 'what do you want, you bastard' so got a beating in return for previous treatments. John Sandy died 1885; Martha died 1913.
Mum and I lived with him and g.granny in 1945, with Mum and 2 of her sisters caring for him until they died [he in 1946 and g.granny in 1945]. He was an 'ag worker/woodcutter' in all the Census papers. Even at 88 he was upright, with an Edward VII beard, and sailor's haircut, and working in the vegetable garden and orchard everyday.
Yes, Blean is in Kent and a very lovely area between Canterbury and Whitstable, with extensive Ancient Woodlands, now being restored, and was also a very big area for smugglers of C17- C19+; good reading out there I've recently found out!
