May-December marriages (19th century)

[Hillhurst]

I was reminded today of a vast age gap between my paternal ancestor and his young bride. It was his second marriage and her first. He was nearly 85 (!) and she was 25.    They went on to have several children. Of course this really creeps me out.

Because I like to poke fun at my ancestors, I do wonder if there weren't any "age-appropriate" gentlemen callers for the young bride?  After all, they lived in London (not out in the 'boonies').

It's not like my ancestor was well-off.  Who knows...maybe his charms were hard to resist?

[rutht22000]

I thought one of mine was a wide age gap! 

22 year old bride and 63 year old husband.  I think I knew the charm with this one was he owned a huge brewing business and a rather nice house and she inherited the lot after less than 10 years of marriage.  I think she also tried to marry well as about 6 months before she was wanted woman in the Isle of Man for keeping a brothel! 

[Hillhurst]

When my ancestor popped his clogs at age 90, the young widow and kiddies existed on handouts and charity. So really...what was the appeal of marrying an 85 year old man, with no money or property? 

The woman was living a normal existence with her parents before marriage. It's not like she was destitute and/or desperate for a roof over her head. All I can think is my ancestor oozed charm and good looks. Maybe he was the Cesar Romero of Victorian London? Catnip to the ladies. 

[Wharfrat]

I've found it particularly common with clergymen to marry much younger brides for some reason.

My personal ancestor age difference is 50 years, 76-26; the couple had 4 children. He had been married before with 9 children.

[Hillhurst]

I wonder if anyone else has a husband-wife 60 year age gap in their family tree (like mine)?
Now if my ancestor had been well-off, I'd think the young woman married herself a "sugar daddy".
But he had nowt when he retired. Although he referred to himself as a "gentleman" on their marriage record. Maybe he fibbed to her when they were courting? 

I have to say that nearly all of his children and grandchildren (by both marriages) went on to have very interesting lives. They're fun to research and trace all around the globe.

[JAKnighton]

What were her living circumstances at the time she got married? Were her parents alive and did she have any siblings who lived close by that could help her? Did she have any 'illegitimate' children that needed a father figure to support them?

When I was looking into the background of my 3x great-grandfather's second wife, I noticed that when she got married her father had recently died, all of her adult brothers were either dead or had moved elsewhere, and her mother and three sisters had recently all been admitted to the workhouse. It seems that by marrying my 3x great-grandfather, a widower with five young children who was nine years her senior, she was spared the same fate.

In desperate times, a woman may have had no other option but to get married to the man who was most immediately available.

[Gallicrow]

I like to produce basic family trees for 19th century British and Irish chess players. One of those that I did recently was George Walker:
https://www.familysearch.org/tree/person/details/G6TT-9VS

He married for the second time when he was 66 years old to a woman called Matilda, aged 28. When he died, ten years later, Matilda, who was then 39, married a man aged 21!

I have seen this quite often that when a woman marries an older man, her next husband will be much younger than her, but this is the most extreme example I've come across - 56 years between the birth of Matilida's first husband and that of her second!

[Romilly]

My Father was 30 years older than my Mother, 57 when I was born and 60 when my sister was born.

It always amuses me when people talk about their Great Great Grandfather having been in WW1, - my Father fought in it!

Romilly 

[pharmaT]

My Father was 30 years older than my Mother, 57 when I was born and 60 when my sister was born.

It always amuses me when people talk about their Great Great Grandfather having been in WW1, - my Father fought in it!

Romilly 

My Dad fought in WW2.  My daughter was punished at school during their world war topic for saying that her grandpa had served in the war.  She was told it was impossible.  I'm still angry 9 years later. My daughter was so upset, they'd to talk about a family member who had been in the war, she'd taken in a photo and everything and was told he wasn't real.  I know I'm supposed to be an adult but I had a cry at people saying my Dad wasn't real.