Author Topic: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?  (Read 1233 times)

Offline Elastik

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Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« on: Wednesday 08 June 22 16:13 BST (UK) »
This man lived from 1960 to 2020 in England. He claimed on numerous occasions to have a wife & 3 children. Nobody I can find ever met them. I can find zero evidence of any marriage or of fatherhood of any children in the likely RDs in England. I am forced to conclude that it wasn't true. He may have fathered children of course but  I cannot think of any way show this. He may simply have been lying. The question is why would you do that?

Offline CaroleW

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #1 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 16:26 BST (UK) »
In what circumstances did he claim to have a wife & children - social or business?

Perhaps he “invented” a family to keep females at bay.   

Did he leave a will?  https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/
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Offline Elastik

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #2 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 17:34 BST (UK) »
In what circumstances did he claim to have a wife & children - social or business?

Perhaps he “invented” a family to keep females at bay.   

Did he leave a will?  https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/
In social circumstances, with mostly other men, he made this claim repeatedly. I guess it may have been to demonstrate the "trappings of normality". It could be that he feared the advances of amorous women but he was not, I would have said, obviously naturally attractive to women (I'm not a woman so how would I really know). As far as I know he wasn't gay. I have birth/death certs for him & some biographical info. I have birth/death/marriage certs for both parents & some biographical info. I have birth/death/marriage details for grandparents. Maybe he said it to shut down discussion of this part of his life because he found it painful or tiresome. He could have fathered 3 children who took their mother's name/s or he could have died a virgin. I cannot see any way to get anywhere with this particular mystery. He had no siblings & his parents are long dead otherwise I'd chance asking them. I could look for a will, it's thought.

Offline CaroleW

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #3 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 19:41 BST (UK) »
What is your connection to him?
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Carlin (Ireland & Liverpool) Doughty & Wright (Liverpool) Dick & Park (Scotland & Liverpool)


Offline alpinecottage

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #4 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 21:31 BST (UK) »
I knew someone who had tried and failed to have children with his wife, due I think to his infertility. He often had too much to drink and one one occasion he told me he had fathered an illegitimate child.  I suspected then (and still believe) it was wishful thinking on his part and denial of the sad fact he couldn't have children.
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Offline Neale1961

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #5 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 22:01 BST (UK) »
We are talking about modern day. The term “wife” these days is very loose, and can describe a partner of either sex. There does not need to have been a legal marriage. Similarly it is quite possible this person fathered children with one or more women to whom he was never married nor a partner, and they may not carry his surname.
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Offline aghadowey

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #6 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 22:22 BST (UK) »
Perhaps a marriage, and even birth of children, took place outside of England. The fact that you've found no one who actually met said wife and children really means nothing. I have friends with partners and children that I've never met but I've never questioned their existence.
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Offline Stanwix England

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #7 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 22:33 BST (UK) »
I've heard of people lying about that sort of thing. There are people who live in complete fantasy worlds. It's very odd behaviour, probably an illness of some sort.

There is this women who lied about having cancer, to the point that she bullied other people who had actually struggled with cancer.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2022/05/greys-anatomy-elisabeth-finch-truth-lies

This woman lied about being in the 9/11 attacks

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alicia_Esteve_Head#Claims_disputed

Hilaria Baldwin lied about being Spanish, to the point of faking an accent and pretending to forget how to pronounce the word 'cucumber'.

https://nypost.com/2020/12/28/its-not-just-her-name-hilaria-baldwins-entire-life-is-a-fake/

People are just really, really weird.

It's distressing when you are the one who is on the receiving end of the lies. It can leave you questioning everything about your interactions with that person, and affect how you trust others. I think all you can do, is accept that the individual in question (if indeed this person did lie) had issues, and that it was about them, and it's not a reflection on you as a person.
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Offline Rena

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Re: Man claims wife & children but appears to have neither. Any suggestions?
« Reply #8 on: Wednesday 08 June 22 22:46 BST (UK) »
In the 1960s and sometime into the 1970s my husband was sent a form by the taxman (Inland Revenue).

In those days men's tax code took account of whether he had a wife and children to support.   I sat with my husband providing birth dates, etc., just as my mother sat with my father to provide him with important information.

I'm thinking that your character filled in his form with make believe family so that he could keep more of his wages/salary.   If the Inland Revenue checked the census forms they would see he listed his family.
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