the shame of unmarried pregancy

[Wulfsige]

I have been told that in mid-Victorian times, in South Wales and maybe elsewhere, it was not deemed shameful to get pregnant without being married, but it was deemed shameful to give birth the child out of wedlock. Can you confirm or correct this, please?

[martin hooper]

I've heard it said that it was not uncommon in those times for a couple to confirm that they were fertile before marriage. As soon as pregnancy was confirmed the marriage would take place.

That seems to fit with your idea.

Martin

[jim1]

Even if a child was born out of wedlock had the parents married afterwards
the child would be seen as legitimate.

[KGarrad]

I've heard it said that it was not uncommon in those times for a couple to confirm that they were fertile before marriage. As soon as pregnancy was confirmed the marriage would take place.

That seems to fit with your idea.

Martin

It's been likened to test driving a new car!

[ggrocott]

I have found that a large number of first children in various parts of the country arrived suspiciously soon after the marriage.  In one case the couple claimed that they had never married  and no-one seemed particularly bothered, they had, but only after the first child was born, I have the marriage certificate and birth certificates.  The went on to have another six children, using a name which was not quite the birth name of either parent.

[Rena]

I thought my gt. grandfather was the first born child.  I had the marriage certificate with names of witnesses, parents, etc. .  Then I discovered he had twelve older siblings to the same parents. 

[Spelk]

I think that in the 1800s the idea that illegitimate children were "shameful" was more of a myth that reality. Blame Dickens whose own personal behaviour is suspect. It was only when we got into the 1900s that it seems that the middle class idea that girls should be virgins when they married began to filter to lower classes.
It has never been seen as a problem when young men "sowed their wild oats". Especially true among the "upper" classes.
So the fact that lately we have more unmarried mothers is just a return to what has for centuries been normal.

[BumbleB]

There is also the question of where they lived.  In some areas an unmarried pregnancy was accepted (although possibly frowned upon) and in other areas it was strictly taboo.

[Viktoria]

In farming communities, children were an asset, workers on the farm ,and it was not uncommon for a couple to have a child before marriage ,it proved the
wife  especially could have children .
Viktoria.