Author Topic: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?  (Read 2145 times)

Offline Annie65115

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #9 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 06:29 BST (UK) »
Many people prefer to be wrong than corrected.

Mrs. Zaph

Isn't that the truth!
Bradbury (Sedgeley, Bilston, Warrington)
Cooper (Sedgeley, Bilston)
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Pryce/Price (Welshpool, Liverpool)
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Online sonofthom

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #10 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 08:05 BST (UK) »
One of my wife's ancestors was a photographer and a collection of his glass plates is held by a museum. However this museum has attributed them to a much younger person. We have given the museum details of our research but they refuse to engage with us. The head of the museum did produce a book of these mis-attributed photos and we strongly suspect that misplaced professional pride (arrogance?) is part of the problem.
Sinclair: Lanarkshire & Antrim; McDougall: Bute; Ramsay: Invernesshire; Thomson & Robertson: Perthshire; Brown: Argyll; Scott: Ayrshire: Duff: Fife.

Offline Steve3180

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #11 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 09:09 BST (UK) »
Many of us have had the same responses as you have Davedrave and it used to bother me but I look at it differently now. This is my thinking now -
There is no such thing as 'proof' in genealogy, just weight of evidence. Collating that evidence and presenting it to a, probably sceptical, third party forces me to re-evaluate that evidence and confirm or otherwise my view. Whether the third party accepts the evidence is their business, some do some don't.
Very occasionaly I get counter-evidence which causes me to change my tree.  This is all worthwhile stuff and makes the process worth it.
However I have also learned to open the conversation with a question 'What leads you to believe that ?' or similar and see where it leads.

Offline Davedrave

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #12 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 09:15 BST (UK) »
Thank you for sharing your experiences and wise advice. Clearly, I was rather naive, but once bitten…
In future, I’ll stick to RootsChat, where I know I can rely on people with the best intentions.

Dave :)


Offline coombs

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #13 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 14:00 BST (UK) »
Also do your own research as well.
Researching:

LONDON, Coombs, Roberts, Auber, Helsdon, Fradine, Morin, Goodacre
DORSET Coombs, Munday
NORFOLK Helsdon, Riches, Harbord, Budery
KENT Roberts, Goodacre
SUSSEX Walder, Boniface, Dinnage, Standen, Lee, Botten, Wickham, Jupp
SUFFOLK Titshall, Frost, Fairweather, Mayhew, Archer, Eade, Scarfe
DURHAM Stewart, Musgrave, Wilson, Forster
SCOTLAND Stewart in Selkirk
USA Musgrave, Saix
ESSEX Cornwell, Stock, Quilter, Lawrence, Whale, Clift
OXON Edgington, Smith, Inkpen, Snell, Batten, Brain

Offline Blue70

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #14 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 15:03 BST (UK) »
Whether to collaborate or not to collaborate? When I was a subscriber of the big sites I was quite proactive when it came to messaging and tree content. I was also very proactive when it came to near and distant relatives when it came to sharing research. There's pluses and minuses to being so open I did get some interesting stuff but I gave a lot more than I received. It did create work for myself and there were some disappointments. I'm glad I did it though but now I'm at the stage where I'm more happy to do my own thing and if other people have it wrong it doesn't bother me so much.

C

Offline Jebber

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #15 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 15:31 BST (UK) »
You only have to look at the number of people in a tree to know if the owner is worth contacting or not. When you see many thousands of names you know they are only name collectors and not serious researchers. I find only the latter are worth contacting, even then it is often a waste of time and effort.
CHOULES All ,  COKER Harwich Essex & Rochester Kent 
COLE Gt. Oakley, & Lt. Oakley, Essex.
DUNCAN Kent
EVERITT Colchester,  Dovercourt & Harwich Essex
GULLIVER/GULLOFER Fifehead Magdalen Dorset
HORSCROFT Kent.
KING Sturminster Newton, Dorset. MONK Odiham Ham.
SCOTT Wrabness, Essex
WILKINS Stour Provost, Dorset.
WICKHAM All in North Essex.
WICKHAM Medway Towns, Kent from 1880
WICKHAM, Ipswich, Suffolk.

Offline mudmonster

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #16 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 15:41 BST (UK) »
and when you do share tree's that you know to be right,they change them to whatever fit's theirs /or do not  even say thanks /get back in touch.
Mud

Offline Erato

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Re: Why do my offers of help seem to be rejected?
« Reply #17 on: Wednesday 15 May 24 16:57 BST (UK) »
"You only have to look at the number of people in a tree to know if the owner is worth contacting or not."

Hogwash.
Wiltshire:  Banks, Taylor
Somerset:  Duddridge, Richards, Barnard, Pillinger
Gloucestershire:  Barnard, Marsh, Crossman
Bristol:  Banks, Duddridge, Barnard
Down:  Ennis, McGee
Wicklow:  Chapman, Pepper
Wigtownshire:  Logan, Conning
Wisconsin:  Ennis, Chapman, Logan, Ware
Maine:  Ware, Mitchell, Tarr, Davis