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I've found her burial record - in Highgate!! She's not however in the grave index register; my cousin who is in contact with Highgate about another grave on 'her' side is going to ask if they will check the 'day book' for the date to see if there is an omission

To complete the process, I have answered the questions posed as it might help someone else!


Do you know if it's a family plot, i.e. two or more burial plots wide, or just a single burial width plot?  It it's the latter then that sounds very unusual to me, a man with his sister-in-law buried 'on top of him'.
They had lived all together and I'm wondering about a 'special' relationship (see below)
Incidentally, I have a family grave in Birmingham (single, dug to 12’) that has 6 in it, including father and brothers and sisters
At the moment I don’t know the answer to this one – my cousin is on the case as she has others in Highgate

I wonder if there's been a recording error somewhere along the line and as you can't find Elizabeth's burial it's actually her buried with her husband as per her wishes and that that was arranged by her sister - the names somehow/where being transposed.
I’ve now found her burial record; Ancestry has the burial records for Highgate (as opposed to grave register) are in Camden – St James St Pancras, so I stepped through 1866 until I found Elizabeth. She was buried 13 Aug 1866. Surname is quite scrawled, but the “Abode” address is Waterloo Place that is mentioned in the Probate register

Do you know if there is a headstone or memorial on the grave?
No, but cousin now on the case with this, as she has already made contact with Highgate for ‘her’ side

Have you thought of trying to trace the sister's death/burial, if that was post Elizabeth's death/burial that would lead weight to a transcription/recording error.  Is the sister in the 1871 census for instance.
Have you found a will and probate for the sister?
I already have the death, will and probate in 1843 for sister Jane. Elizabeth was the executor; there was no indication as to where she would be buried, but as John had only been buried in Highgate the year before, I suppose it seemed sensible to her. Interestingly, John made specific provision for his sister-in-law in his will “Wife’s sister Jane, interest of £300 stock in 3½% secured for her natural was sensible.”, so maybe there was an interesting relationship there….

Thinking about her will, surely it would have been her executors responsibility to comply with her wishes and would her executors have had to show evidence of their compliance when they sought probate?  Not sure as I don't know that much about probate.
I would have thought so – which is one of the reasons why that, prior to release of Highgate register on deceased online, I had always assumed she would be there!

Were the executors the beneficiaries of her will and therefore have an interest in spending as little as possible on her burial
It would seem that the executors weren’t beneficiaries

Thank you all for your help. I've been away for the weekend and I must have missed selecting an option to get an alerting email!

artifis - Thank you; the Reading death registration is the correct one, so I have obviously noted the wrong burial, as the one you mentioned from 1859 was the one I had spotted.
I have her full will and probate; she did ask to be buried with her husband, but she isn't in his grave (her sister is). I have a deceased online sub and checked the number in the grave. I have also searched the records without finding another grave for her

The addresses in Camden are with both relevant to her and her family both during her marriage and as a widow; she was in Reading (as a widow) because she appears to have moved there to help with her nephew's children. The nephew and niece then died and she stayed on; I suspect that there was no one left in her immediate family to ensure that her burial wishes were carried out.

Again, thank you - I will continue my search ....