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Topics - Intevel

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The Lighter Side / Let me get one thing straight. You don't care about the people in your tree?
« on: Friday 09 March 18 09:13 GMT (UK)  »
From what I've gathered here is that people don't really wanna get to know their relatives that they find. They just wanna learn about their ancestry and the overall history of their family. They wanna learn about people who have passed on many ages ago. And if their 2nd cousin has any stories, they'll add that to it.

But you don't really look at them as people that you wanna become friendly with and develop a relationship. Honestly, I would feel weirded out if I was approached by a distant cousin who had no interest in me other than wanting to interview me for his own personal joy and curiosity.

Maybe I came to the wrong place? I am interested in my family history too, but I find it so odd that people want to know their ancestors, but have no interest in finding 2nd or 3rd cousins and trying to develop a relationship.

I'm not saying you're bad people. Just wondering what in the world is wrong with you.

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The Lighter Side / Are most people not interested in family trees?
« on: Friday 09 March 18 07:26 GMT (UK)  »
I suppose at what time I didn't think much of family trees. But lately I've really been into meeting new people and it's rewarding to welcome new people into your life. But sometimes I'll have conversations with friends and they don't know the first thing about a family tree. Many of them say they have no interests in getting to know their cousins or 2nd or 3rd cousins. They think that's silly and just want to be with their friends and close family.

I feel the opposite. I think that it's very valuable to get to know more people in your whole family. You can meet more people, make more relationships, learn different things. I'm not sure why people only wanna have their circle of friends but don't wanna meet people that aren't a brother or sister. You can also learn more about yourself and your ancestry and family history.

So the one thing that concerns me is that even if you discover new people, they might have no interest in you. I've heard people say that anything not a mom, sister, aunt, uncle or grandma is not a relative, but just someone that shares some DNA. Not sure why some people are so negative about the topic. They just feel so grumpy.

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The Lighter Side / My Cousin told his friend We're Related ''Sort Of''
« on: Friday 09 March 18 07:18 GMT (UK)  »
For some reason I'm offended. My cousin and I started hanging out several times a week for the last few months. We are in our 30s. He is my 2nd cousin one removed and we never talked to each other much as kids. But recently we have gotten together and our families have a couple of times. It's been really cool. We even watched family videos. I thought we were coming together. My goal is to get to know more people that are in the family line.

But when he introduced me to his friend, he said ''By the way.... Can you believe we are related? Well ''sort of....'' Isn't that crazy? How are we related again? Is it my great grandma's cousin or something like that? Or my grandpa?''

And he always tells people we are related, even people that we just met. And they ask how we're related and he always forgets how and he starts trying to explain it and it looks silly.

I am offended that he called me his ''Sort of'' relative. The way he said ''Sort of'' sounded like we have nothing to do with each other. Should I call him my ''sort of'' friend? He always wants to hang out with me. But I think he thinks of me more as his buddy. Loves to talk about girls. Any advice? I don't like to be looked at his ''kind of'' relative.

I have other 2nd cousins that I have known for a long time. I would never refer to them as my ''sort of'' relative. Heck, even people not related refer to each as just cousins. When you say ''sort of'' people look at us as weird and he can't even explain the tree, which is annoying since I showed him the tree many times and it's actually quite simple. Only hard if you make it hard.

How should I bring this up to him? I've never felt so offended by being labeled by a relative.


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