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Hi folks - thanks for the replies.

Burial details: I had these and they are Martin's parents and brother. I'd also seen but can't be sure about the 258 plot purely because there's no details and I don't have any either.

Marriage detail: unfortunately it says Mary E. Boyle so either she was a Boyle or they haven't included her maiden name. I think my sister has a later 1956 record too - need to check with her.

1939 Register: seen the Manchester one, need to check Cambridge but again neither would be conclusive as I don't have enough info myself. Exact birthdate is in the original post Carole.

Bridget's death: I have that too and had seen who the informant was - e.g. daughter-in-law.

40th Wedding info is new (thanks Sinann) and seems to confirm the 1952 wedding. Again I'd seen the 2006 death but again I don't have enough info to say it's the same person.

Cheers for the replies folks and I reckon I'll go with my initial gut instinct and what the majority seem to think here.

I won't bore you with the details but 434 East 13th Street opens up a whole can of worms for me but thanks again.

Thanks for the replies and links oldohiohome. I did make a start a while back thinking I could do an 1830 to 1840 census comparison looking at males under a certain age in 1830 and then cross-checking to 10 years later. I gave up as I don't know when Norman arrived in NYC other than before the 1850 census so any 1840 families that didn't have a male of the correct age bracket could have been either dead or moved away (possibles) but then there were also families that did have a correct aged male still in Rutland County so he could still have been there also. I had 9 families in Rutland County in 1830 by the way - Fair Haven (2), Poultnery (2), Rutland (2), Brandon, Castleton and Mount Holly. I hammered the FamilySearch records and found nothing also. I was convinced with the first name Norman this would be a walk in the park but alas.

Hi folks.

Received a very helpful reply about this - not the news I wanted to hear but a nice reply all told.

I checked the “memorial roll” of the GAR for Ohio, published in 1919.  It lists all reported deaths of Ohio GAR members for calendar year 1918.  Patrick O’Neil wasn’t listed.  I also read the obituary, and since membership in the GAR wasn’t mentioned, I think it’s reasonable to believe he was not a member of the GAR (at least at the time of his death).

So back to square one.

Hi folks - cheers for the replies - apologies for the delay in getting back but I'm in the UK so time difference and all that.

I've got no proper knowledge about the GAR markers other than they appear to be a star on a spike - did they stay in the graves all the time, did family members keep them, did people steal them??? The card in the link does appear to be referring to some sort of upright marker and can't be referring to his actual headstone which is flat. I manage a few findagrave memorials for the whole family which are linked and here is Patrick's:

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/60738711/patrick-f_-o_neil

There's no marker present but I'm convinced it must have been GAR and that F. Company, St Vincent's Roster is to do with him being a member of the GAR and that ultimately if any records exist for this they will lead me to an actual regiment.

I've gone through to the best of my ability, not being an expert as to the minute details of battle formations, army groups, etc, etc as much online info as I could find and if I remember correctly (I haven't got my notes in front of me) there were less than 10 NY regiments in total involved. I've got pdfs of the rosters for every NY regiment - infantry, calvary and artillery and I went through them for Patricks and there wasn't anything close in age. He would have been 17 in 1861, 18 in 1862 so no need to lie about his age and plenty of ages given as a lot older. Others either died, deserted or were POWs by the time of the Nashville campaigns - in short no likely candidates.

I have sometimes explored the idea that the obit is made up as far as civil war service was concerned. It's certainly wrong in that only one brother perished plus it was written by his brother Michael who at this time was a leading commercial dignitary in Akron and he would have been flattering about his brother. He would definitely have known that only one of his brothers died. There were 6 brothers in total. Peter (1836-1882), Felix (1839-1880), John (1842-1862), Patrick (1844-1918), James (1846-1906) and Michael (1850-1927). Peter is the most likely other brother to serve (if the info is correct) and he appears twice in the NYC drafts. Felix appears to have paid a substitute and is listed in all the NYC directories during the Civil War. His obit says he was in Company I of the 12th Regiment N.G.S.N.Y. Dowley's History and Honorary Roll (1869) lists him as a Corporal of I Company with date of warrant given as 27-08-1867. This date is post Civil War and I can't find any evidence he served during 1861-1865 in any of the muster rolls - I did find some short term ones for this regiment. James and Michael were too young and never served.

Maybe Patrick himself faked a history about himself after arriving in Akron either about his service if at at all, or hiding a record of desertion or similar, either with Michael's collusion or not? This might explain his absence from the 1890 Vets Schedule? Surely though if he had then he would soon have been caught out by other vets? Anyhow that's a totally different and very cynical set of thoughts.

So it's GAR???