Generation Gaps

[MrsLizzy]

Oh God, Mrs Lizzy, no I'm not pregnant!!!! No No No No No!!!

Just meant I will have another one in a couple of years. Advantage of having a premature baby is that after giving birth to 3lb 15oz, it only took me about a week before I could say "Yeah, I could do that again!" 

Kez

Scary story for you, Kez!  When I was born, apparently it was a comparatively quick, easy birth. I was born in five hours start to finish and Mum was on gas and air and thought childbirth was a breeze.  Two and a half years later, she mozied into the labour ward on a Friday afternoon, thinking "Hey, this'll be no problem."  Now she had noticed she was very big (for such a small woman!) and had asked if she was having twins.  They'd said no, no, Mrs Phillips, you're just having a big baby.  As I say, it was Friday afternoon when she went into labour . . . . and she finally pushed out a baby early on Tuesday morning.  You can imagine how she felt, lying there, thinking "Thank God that's over" as it had actually been extraordinarily painful and difficult.  Then they said "Just a minute . . . . my goodness, there's another baby coming through!"   

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

[Kezlyn]

Oh my God, Mrs Lizzy! Right at the VERY moment when you are going "NEVER AGAIN" the Dr looks at you and says "Yes, again, and RIGHT NOW!"  Did your Mum have any more after the twins?

My mother in law claims all three of her boys were 3 day labours <Kez quietly crosses legs>. I do find it hard to believe though, one because she's my MIL, and two because really, would you go three times if that was the case? I think she's just trying to tell me how lucky it is that my husband (who is the youngest) exists at all!! 

May God eternally bless the inventor of pethidine! 

Kez

[MrsLizzy]

No my Mum said she could never have gone through that again.  And she had post-natal depression afterwards and apparently my great-grandmother (dad's grandmother) was not at all understanding and Mum says was quite unpleasant to her.  Maybe she was telling her to "snap out of it" - if only it was as easy as that.

[Kezlyn]

I've got bipolar disorder and I know exactly what it is like to be told to "snap out of it". Grrrrrrrrrrr. 

Thank God attitudes are changing. Most people I know still don't know a lot about depression, but instead of running away they ask questions and attempt to educate themselves. I'm lucky I live in the 21st Century, and not a hundred years ago - no treatment, no understanding, and no pethidine!!

Kez

[MrsLizzy]

What is bipolar disorder, Kez?

My mum was too young to have gone through all that really. She was just turned 19 when I was born, so not yet 22 when the boys were born, and really that wasn't how she had wanted her life to be.  She never really wanted to get married and have babies. She had her sights set on being an air stewardess and I think she'd have been good at it.  Unfortunately I came along and buggered her whole life up.

Sorry Mum! 

[MrsLizzy]

I had my children at 17, 19 and 22. Yikes
My sister remained childless but was a fountain of knowledge as to the in and outs of child rearing.....especially in regards to my skills...if you know what I mean!
Well, lo and behold, she had her first child, unexpectedly, at 41years of age.
Now mine are grown, married and settled....and guess who has a teenager???
I smile.......am I cruel???

 

Wicked Indi

Actually yes Indi, you are very cruel, a very bad woman, as I am about to turn 41 in a couple of weeks.  I will be scared witless now right up until I turn 42 and it's all your fault!! 

[Dimps]

I'm an eldest child who married a youngest child leading to a 17 year gap between our parents, and each of us are one of only three siblings.  I have a couple of friends from large families who have nieces and nephews who are older than they are.

Dimps

[Kezlyn]

Bipolar disorder used to be known as manic depression. I have a mild form, so I don't get the manic highs where I go and spend all my money and sleep with unknown men and all that. I just get irritable and anxious instead, and then slide into depression and back out again. I call it bipolar without the fun! 

22 with three kids, PND, and a life she really didn't map out for herself. I sincerely hope your Mum did find some contentment in her life at some stage. Really, I feel I have it SO easy these days. Love, support and understanding (not to mention some great medication) has enabled me to have exactly the life I want for myself and a positive outlook for the future. Well maybe not exactly the life I want - a million bucks and a husband who retires from playing cricket and then I'll be content!!! 

Kez

[MrsLizzy]

Have you tried anything else, Kez, such as hypnotherapy, meditation etc? 

I think I've had quite a tough life, though nothing like as tough as some.  Very unhappy childhood, unhappy teenage years, lots of rejection and disappointment along the way, first marriage annulled, second marriage ended in divorce, but FINALLY I'm with Mr Wonderful.  He really is fantastic, so kind, but also I know now that even if I lost him and ended up on my own again, I'd be able to survive and be happy on my own.

I wouldn't really call my mother content.  I'd say her second marriage is far from ideal but she has very different ideas about marriage than I do.   I think her life now is largely as she wants it to be, it's just that she doesn't realise it.  She has her house, her garden and her dogs, her friends and her other interests.  I am sure she doesn't actually realise how happy and how lucky she really is, but she does always seem to be striving for more.