contacting living relatives

[CU]

Oh you must do it. Write a letter and put a rough family tree in. I always enclose a SAE. Last time I wrote to a new relative I got back the only photo of my great grandparents I have. The gentleman was in his 90's and remember my great grandfather, who he said could swim like a fish! Something I would never have found out.
Good luck

[Romilly]

Hi Again,

Yes, - definately do go for it!

Thanks to contacting my cousins, I was sent a photo of my father with his brothers. (The only photo of my father that I had before that was one of him aged 18). I can't tell you how pleased I was to recieve it!

Do let us know how you get on.

Best Wishes, Romilly.

[KathMc]

Absolutely write. I have had such incredible luck that way. I went from not knowing my gg grandfather's name to getting a picture of his father and a tree back to him, and a wonderful new cousin to boot. I have also found a gg grandmother's family the same way, and am getting incredible information. I have done it many times and I too include my email address and a self-addressed stamped envelope. I did a phone call once, at the pushing of a first cousin and that was rather disastorous, although it was a relative. It took her a while to warm up (if that's what you would call it) and then I sent her a lot of stuff and haven't heard back from her, and this has easily been a month now.

I have also sent out many that turned out not to be relatives and many that haven't responded, but the ones that do are so worth it. And I still have some out there for my dad's family, recently finding out that my great-grandmother was one of 14 kids.

Go for it and let us know what happens.

Kathleen

[annaandchester]

I have written to people, rung people and even advertised in newspapers for people and I have had nothing but positive responses.

If you are polite and explain yourself right from the start - who you are and what you want - you cant go wrong.

I have had letters and emails from people who cant help but are interested - a few have ask how to go about tracing their own tree.

The worst thing they can say is not interested - what do you have to lose?

Anna x

[PassionPlay]

My grandmother was unmarried when she gave birth to my father and subsequently married and moved to Warwickshire, leaving Dad to be brought up by her Aunt and to all intents and purposes, was never seen again.  Wanting to know what happened to her is what started me off with all this...

Anyway not wanting to digress too far, I uncovered three children from this marriage and in turn some grandchildren.  I found three possible addresses for the eldest grandchild and then agonised for eight months over whether to contact them, knowing it would be a complete shock to learn that their Grandma had a child out of wedlock so long ago. 

A chance meeting (another story!) gave me the specific area of Warwickshire where she had lived and one of my addresses was in the same town so I bit the bullet and wrote, explaining who I was and enclosing a basic tree and a photo of our common great-grandparents.  I also made it clear that I was only looking for information and that I would respect their privacy should they choose not to respond.

It was at least three weeks before I had a response (and I had just about decided that I had the wrong people by then)... and the initial e-mail was to say they were about to go on hols and would contact when they got back and the wait was agonising... when they did they were great, filled in lost of gaps for me and sent me a couple of pictures of my Grandmother which was great as Dad had never seen her either (well, not that he remembered lol!).... and we still exchange e-mails every so often I'm pleased to say.

So yes, I understand your caution but it's an opportunity so grab it!

Let us know how you get on (if that's not too nosey!)

Steph.

[Wendi]

PassionPlay, what a lovely outcome  and photo's too, that was the best part of my foray into contacting living relatives, the photos, as I had none at all, 'till I did IT

Even potential rejection from strangers scares me and normally I`m such a tough cookie!

Hi sheddyg

I think the quote from you says it  - it is a really "new" thing to do these days, try to find "lost" relatives.  The TV has helped to enlighten people to the fact that it may happen, but I think you just have to don your elephant skin and wade in there 

"If you don't ask you will never get, and hey, as long as you know you did it as politely as you were able - if you get no response then you know, avenue closed....but if you don't try you'll forever be wondering

Elephant skin, that's the key   

Wendi

[sheddyg]

Ooohhhh my lovely Rootschat brothers and sisters, I just knew you would be the ones to talk to. Thank you all so much for your wonderfully wise, kind and reassuring words of encouragement. 
I will definately be making contact and will keep you all posted.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me, I am feeling much braver now.

sheddyg

[D ap D]

I've done it countless times and can group my experiences into 2 areas - those who don't reply (I've not had anyone say they are not interested), and those who bound with enthusiasm.

Funnily enough its usually the older relatives who fall into the last group. I've lost count of the times I've been told that they have so much to tell, and nobody is left who is interested. I have found one, a second cousin of my grandmothers, who is over 90. It has given her a new lease on life and every time I go and visit her (maybe once a year), she has a stack of new information, photos etc.

I would say that you'll have one like this for every 5 of the first group, but it is worth it.

Go for it, expect not to hear anything then you won't be disappointed. However, if you don't try, you'll never know.

D

[KathMc]

I've done it again. A first cousin of mine found my great-great-grandfather's brother's family on the Welcome Walls at the Maritime Museum in Freemantle, Australia, an absolute and lucky fluk. I sent an email to the museum and the museum has forwarded that information to the family, so hopefully I will hear back soon.

I think it's always worth it to attempt to make contact.

Kathleen