DOCTORS FIND NEW DISEASE!
WARNING!
Doctors have discovered a new disease that is very contagious to adults. They have named it Genealogy Pox.
SYMPTOMS:
Patient continually complains of a need for names, dates, and places. Patient has a blank expression on his face, and often seems deaf to mate and children. Has no taste for work of any kind, except for feverishly looking through
records, libraries, and cemetaries. Has compulsion to write letters and spends hours sitting at a computer.
Swears at mailman when he doesn't leave mail or threatens to kick computer if there is no email.
Frequents strange places such as cemeteries, ruins and remote desolate country areas. Makes secret night calls and hides the phone bills from mate. Patient mumbles to self and has a strange faraway look in his eyes. Has a strange compulsion to gather and scatter old papers all over the house, eaving piles of paper everywhere with strange numbers and names all over them.
TREATMENT:
No known cure. Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but gets progressively worse. Disease is spreading throughout the country very fast, quickly becoming an epidemic. Patient should attend genealogy meetings, workshops, subscribe to genealogical magazines, and be given lots more forms and a computer situated in a quiet corner of the house where he or she can be alone.
If family supports patient through this, patient will occasionally come out of strange trance and will act normal again unless you drive by a cemetery.
REMARKS:
The unusual nature of this disease is such that the more sick the patient becomes, the more he or she seems to enjoy it, sometimes dancing with glee and yelling, "I found it!"
