19th century weddings

[Sylviaann]

My parents were married on August Bank Holiday weekend so they had a one day honeymoon and that was 1930.

Sylviaann

[kerryb]

I wonder when the week long honeymoon came into being then?  Perhaps that is a very modern idea as well pushed by the holiday companies probably.

Kerry

[jaywit]

Watching  Coast last night they were at Butlins Skegness talking about it's history and I am sure they said it was 1938 when workers were entitled to a weeks holiday with pay, so working on that I don't think many working class people had a week's honeymoon before the Second World War.

[kerryb]

You are quite correct, I saw that too, and my partner commented on the fact that 1938 was when paid holiday was introduced.  We take it for granted these days. 

I am guessing that it was at this period that they had factory closing for holiday periods, different from todays holiday at any time you like.

Kerry

[MrsLizzy]

I think wealthy people have always made a song and dance (literally!) about getting married - I think it's always been a status thing, hence the desire to be married in the "right" church and have the "right" people come to your wedding.  I suppose some people feel the glory of being associated with high status people, places and thing reflects on them, but I must say it's a bit sad if you think you have little or no worth of your own.

Not to do with weddings, but I once had a colleague who was horrified when we were stopped from doing overtime.  She used to do every bit of overtime she could get, not to pay her bills, but purely so that she could keep up with her "friends".  The overtime ban meant she took a £300 per month net cut and she was very worried.   She told us her friends "would laugh at her if she didn't have the right handbag"! 

I thought that was so sad and lonely.  I would rather sit at home by myself, night after night, than be out with "friends" like that.

[kerryb]

Lizzy

I totally agree with you. 

Back on the weddings bit, I am starting to plan my own wedding at the moment and you wouldn't believe the suggestions that family and friends so kindly give me.  I want a quiet, family only, no white dress affair with a big informal party afterwards.

You would think I was suggesting hopping over a broomstick or something, no offence, my friends are getting snotty about not coming to the church!  Thankfully my mum is supporting me!

It's not the wedding that is important it is the marriage!!!!!!

Kerry

[linmey]

Dig your heels in kerry. You have what you want. I always do when I get married. JOKE. (It really hasnt been that many times, honest).
  Linda.

[kerryb]

I mostly certainly will!  I've waited so long for it, I am going to do it my way!!!

Kerry

[MrsLizzy]

Well you can tell them I had a friend once who finally agreed to marry a man who'd been begging her for years - on condition that he gave her the wedding of her dreams, all to impress the worthless young man who'd jilted her for her best friend.  (He would see it in the local paper, you see).   The wedding was in Yorkshire, and I stayed in B&B.  Now I went out to look round the town the day before the wedding, and got myself hopelessly lost.  I was lucky enough to bump into her intended and asked him the way back to my B&B.  He said he just had to see the hotel about the reception, we would have a quick drink and then he would drop me off back at my B&B.  So we did just that, and over the orange juice, he told me he'd had to borrow thousands of pounds to pay for this wedding, and he'd just as soon have just got married quietly in a register office.  He added that he didn't like being in debt and would have to work 18 hour days for six months to pay the loan off but he would do it. 

Six weeks after the wedding, I got a letter from the blushing bride telling me she had left him "because he doesn't have time for me"!  I wrote to her and told her that was a wedding, not a pantomime, and that the reason he had so little time at the moment was because he was working to pay back the loan for the dream wedding she wanted.  I never heard from either of them again, and I don't know if she went back to him.  I am certain she never loved the poor man in the first place.

That's why I think it's so important that you do know why you are getting married.  I have nothing against a big splashy wedding if that's what you both want and you don't mind paying for it, but if it's just a day out for the family then just throw a particularly posh barbecue as far as I'm concerned, because divorce costs an arm and a leg too!