Suppressing the truth

[Cathymjp]

I am in agreement with you gadget.  All of the previous generation of my family have now passed on.  I think they might have found it difficult to cope if anything had come up in my research which shattered their illusions.  My cousins, however, have a more realistic and open mind to what might be found in our history.  I think perhaps it is how the different generations were brought up - just look how attitudes have changed in the past 50 years to many things that would have been regarded as a great stigma in the previous generation.

Cathy

[domino]

What ever we think...the past is the past...and nothing can change it.
I personally would love to "dig up a skeleton". Makes life for me...more interesting. 
 We can't all have perfect families can we ? lol
Take care....Iris

[7igerby7he7ail]

Some things certain members of my family wished I hadnt dug up.......

A suicide.soon after the bith of a child, [so probably PND.]

A marriage between an uncle and a neice [it was illegal then....and now?]

2 of my ancestors born in a workhouse.

2 commited to mental instititions.

Not a bad score out of 1850 or so immediate family menmbers all the others seem to have led 'normal' lives

Sometimes the area your ancestor was born in can raise issues in the family.
Like the Gorbals in Glasgow, some of my wife's ancestors were born and raised there, some members of the family were not happy with this information.
Or Moss Side in Manchester, some of my tree born there. Some of the family think that this must be a 'mistake' on my part, Today of course Moss Side has a notoriuos reputation , but back in 1860?

I tell them that it's all part of the rich tapestry of their history.

[MarieC]

In an ultra-respectable part of my family, a cousin has discovered two convicts who were transported to Australia - a man and a woman.  We didn't know about them.   I'm sure that previous generations suppressed this information or wouldn't have wanted to know it.  But my cousin and I are pretty chuffed!  These two were enterprising people who made good - matter of fact, we tend to think that England exported many of her most enterprising citizens!!! 

MarieC

[Kevwood]

Hi,

I think the best thing is we all know our close relatives quite well i would imagine, and therefore should know whether they would be upset/ offended by telling them what we found, i have found some very dubious births and shotgun marriages that i know my family don't know about and i don't think they would want to, i have though included the dates of the events in my tree, now if they spot it when i send them the tree to look at then they would know but wont have to discuss it with me unless they wanted to.

Kev.

[suey]

Suttontrust - you are looking at a situation that is divorced from you and I can see where you are coming from but if this particular family don't want certain things discussed then you have to abide by that.

I have discovered one or two things in my own family tree that would deeply distress my mother if she knew that i knew, if you see what I mean. 
I'm not even sure if she knows some of these things herself, but I know it would upset her if she did sooo the only people I've shared this knowledge with are my brother and sister and true dates and names are in my 'private' tree.  To anyone outside the information is there to find but while my mum is still alive I'm not giving anything away !!

Suey

[Springbok]

My Dad was the youngest of 5 children and his eldest sister helped bring him up.Only the 3rd.born of  her children is still alive and now in her 80's
 
I found that the first child was born 6 months after my Aunt and Uncle were married.in 1913
Would really love to know if my surviving Coz.knew of this or did they put another year on the marriage. but can't possibly, perhaps causing her distress.

We do have another mutual cousin but I.ve really restrained myself from discussing it with
her,even tho' being older, she has told me lots of items about our Family..

Spring