Grave yard etiquette

[sallysmum]

Just taken my first foray into exploring a grave yard where I found gt gt grandparent's grave.  There were no paths between the graves and I found myself walking over them - something of which I was uneasy as I felt a little disrespectful which made me think, what etiquette should be observed whilst wandering around graveyards?

Many thanks

Sallysmum

[01debbie]

Oh Sallysmum...what a good question.  I frequently go to the Old cemetery on Southampton Common, it's like a jungle in parts & you can't help but step on graves at times.,... I usually say 'excuse me' or 'I'm really sorry, just trying to reach my Gt Gt Grandmother' or something like that... & then apologise again on the way back.

Debbie

[wheeldon]

I really don't think there is one.  one of the Churches near me has grave stones as the pathway so you have no choice but to walk over them.  I don't think it's disrespectful but i do think it's a shame that this helps to wear away the inscriptions on the stone.

[nanny jan]

I'm a member of a group from our local Fam Hist Society who are logging all the graves in our local cemetery.   Some are hidden or overgrown and we have to clear them to read the inscriptions.

We all say something like  " sorry  Edna" or " hope you don't mind" if we have to stand or kneel on the graves.  Just makes us feel easier somehow!

Nanny Jan

[suey]

Sallysmum, as long as you feel that you are being respectful, as I'm sure you are I don't think you should let it worry you too much.

You should see the cemetery where some of my husbands relatives are buried  . The graves are packed in like sardines in a tin, unbelievable.
When we buried his father back in the 1980's some of us had to stand on the neighbouring graves at the interment it was dreadful. 

Suey

[alicemaud]

Several years ago, Mr Alice and I went to Westminster Abbey and I felt a little creepy walking on those gravestones in the Abbey. However, I don't think that those people who are interred would mind as we were only 2 of thousands who have walked on their graves.
I think, for myself, I would rather someone walk over me than be left in an overgrown patch where no one ever goes!

[Nick Carver]

I believe the correct etiquette whilst crossing graves that do not belong to family members is to hop, whiilst holding a bible under the left arm and sing the National Anthem. Remember that and you'll do just fine.

[sallysmum]

Ah but Nick, whose national anthem??

Seriously, thanks to all who have replied with their experiences and conduct.  I shall go into my next graveyard with a clear conscience (and a bible, Nick!)

Kind regards

Sallysmum

[wheeldon]

Sallysmum, I have a confession to make.  My 4 yr old daughter and I walk through a church yard every morning to school.  I allow her to skip and jump across the very old flat grave stones, she sings and chats to herself along the way.  She says 'good morning' to the elderly couple that feed the birds every morning but she never touches any of the flowers that are placed on the newer graves.

She then picks up all the poppy wreaths that have been blown away and places them carefully on the war memorial (she says that is her morning job)

I don't feel that we are being disrespectful, if there are any spirits there, I'm sure they look forward to Alex coming in the morning to brighten up their day 

There are a couple of people who come to pay their respects on a regular basis and know Alex by name and have a chat to her as we pass through