Author Topic: Grave yard etiquette  (Read 48064 times)

Offline tedscout

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #72 on: Friday 07 January 11 04:12 GMT (UK) »
Its terrible when gravestones get removed. We are about to pay for a plaque for OH's gr grandparents as they are in an unmarked grave. That is here in Australia and our cemeteries are very well looked after so we dont have a problem doing this.

But who owns the stones and memorials that the family of the dead person has purchased for his/her grave.

Could the councils who remove them be "stealing" them??????????????
Gadsby's, Farmers, Neals - Leicestershire
Freemans, Littles, Corbetts, Branns - Australia

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Offline LizzieW

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #73 on: Friday 07 January 11 15:21 GMT (UK) »
Quote
A lot of my ancestors are buried in Philip's Park Cemetery in Manchester which is being allowed to run into disrepair.   Call me cynical but I wonder if this has anything to do with it's location  - a stones throw from the proposed super casino site?

Lots of mine are there too.

Lizzie

Offline GuyMassey

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #74 on: Friday 07 January 11 16:24 GMT (UK) »
My son is a fire performer and recently had to do his act in a churchyard where all the stones had been removed and the graves grassed over... I wonder what the "residents" would have thought???

See the Dickensian Evening pictures here:

http://www.weddingstationery.uk.net/poiromania/pages/gallery.html

It has to be said that if a grave looks cared for, it is normally easy to avoid. I make a point of tidying up and leaving flowers when I find a marked ancestor "asleep".
Massey (London, Woking, Teignmouth), Massie (Banff, Aberdeen - Scotland) Sullivan, O'Sullivan (Kanturk Ireland, London, Woolwich) Mactaggart (Montrose, Angus, Scotland, Singapore), Thornhill (Surrey), Lyall, Walsh, Linehan, Holland, Langton, Armstrong.

Offline julianb

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #75 on: Saturday 08 January 11 16:06 GMT (UK) »
But who owns the stones and memorials that the family of the dead person has purchased for his/her grave.

Could the councils who remove them be "stealing" them??????????????
I'm not sure if this is universal, but I enquired about ownership of some of my ancestors' graves in Mitcham Road Cemetery, Croydon.

If the cemetery authorities find they cannot trace the owner of the plot, then they will consider recycling the plot.  For example the owner of the plot which holds my great grandparents is my great grandmother (who was buried subsequently with my great grandfather).  Similarly my grandparents' plot is owned by my grandfather - my grandmother predeceased him. 

There's no way they could trace a living relative from the information held in either of these cases.

Anyone can apply to take ownership of a plot - but you would need to demonstrate that you have a legitimate claim and support from others who might have a similar claim.  In the case of Croydon, it is £25 plus the cost of a solicitors' oath, per plot.

JULIAN
ESSEX  Carter, Enever, Jeffrey, Mason, Middleditch, Pond, Poole, Rose, Sorrell, Staines, Stephens, Surry, Theobald HUNTS  Danns KENT  Luetchford, Wood NOTTINGHAMSHIRE  Baker, Dunks, Kemp, Price, Priestley, Swain, Woodward SUFFOLK  Rose SURREY  Bedel, Bransden, Bysh, Coleman, Gibbs, Quinton SUSSEX Gibbs, Langridge, Pilbeam, Spencer WILTSHIRE  Brice, Rumble


Offline Gaille

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #76 on: Saturday 08 January 11 16:33 GMT (UK) »
But who owns the stones and memorials that the family of the dead person has purchased for his/her grave.

Could the councils who remove them be "stealing" them??????????????
I'm not sure if this is universal, but I enquired about ownership of some of my ancestors' graves in Mitcham Road Cemetery, Croydon.

If the cemetery authorities find they cannot trace the owner of the plot, then they will consider recycling the plot.  For example the owner of the plot which holds my great grandparents is my great grandmother (who was buried subsequently with my great grandfather).  Similarly my grandparents' plot is owned by my grandfather - my grandmother predeceased him. 

There's no way they could trace a living relative from the information held in either of these cases.

Anyone can apply to take ownership of a plot - but you would need to demonstrate that you have a legitimate claim and support from others who might have a similar claim.  In the case of Croydon, it is £25 plus the cost of a solicitors' oath, per plot.

JULIAN

Mums just "taken over" the ownership of her parents grave when my Nana died (3 years ago tomorrow :( )
We only asked in passing if it was possible while we were arranging some other stuff in the cemetery office,  as we didnt know if they had an address since my nana died & she had bought the plot.

It was actually fairly wasy to do, I had the original paperwork for the plot in nanas papers stating she had bought the plot & when, and mum had her death cert as the reason we were in the office had to do with nanas death
The only problem we had was that she had to prove that she was her parents ONLY child & no one else had a claim on the grave .......... lol proving a negative wasnt easy to do, but thankfully I had a paper clipping from mum n dads wedding stating "only daughter of xx & xx" and thankfully they were happy to accept this due to the date on the clipping being "historic" i.e. not a recent clipping (it was from 1964)

They didnt charge for it, and updated the database info then & there while we were in the office - and I was glad they did, cos the address they had on the database was the address my grandad lived at when he died in 1977 - and nana moved 4 times after that!!!!!

It only took us 2 visits to the office to do it - one when we asked the question, n the other to take the paperwork.

I would suggest anyone wanting to "take over" ownership of a family grave asks the cemetery office if its possible & whats involved, you may be surprised how easy it is in some areas!

Gaille
Manchester – Bate(s) / Bebbington / Coppock or Coppart / Evans / Mitchell / Prince / Smith

Cheshire Latchford – Bibby / Savage / Smith.
Cheshire Macclesfield,  Bollington & Rainow – Childs / Flint / Mc'rea
Cheshire Crewe – Bate(s) / Bebbington
Shropshire Wellington, Wobwell – Smith
Walsall Midds – Smith
Norfolk - Childs / Hanwell / Smith

Also looking for:
Mc'Rea/McCrea – Ireland to Cheshire

And
any relatives of Margaret Bibby married to Thomas Smith all over country

Offline diggerman2

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #77 on: Sunday 06 February 11 11:31 GMT (UK) »
Just taken my first foray into exploring a grave yard where I found gt gt grandparent's grave.  There were no paths between the graves and I found myself walking over them - something of which I was uneasy as I felt a little disrespectful which made me think, what etiquette should be observed whilst wandering around graveyards?

Many thanks

Sallysmum

As long as you're not "charging" about on graves then i don't see it as disrespectful - i work in a Cemetery and have to walk across graves all the time whilst carrying out my various duties ....including grasscutting

Offline nort

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #78 on: Sunday 06 February 11 12:10 GMT (UK) »
hi Diggerman,i've noticed in our local churchyard the council have brought in tons of soil and levelled up a lot of the graves and grassed them over so they can cut it easier.This must be because many graves are not maintained and they are trying to tidy it up.

Steve
Northumberland-Brown,Mitchell,Pattison,Clough,Gleghorn,Roseby,Sanderson,Southern,Elliott,Gray,Green,Dobson,Bell
Durham/Northumberland-Mellanby
Cornwall-Chenhall,Bodinner
Fife-Mitchell,Gourlay,Dryburgh

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Offline diggerman2

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #79 on: Sunday 06 February 11 12:25 GMT (UK) »
If the graves are uneven , then it should make them a lot safer to visit too.

Offline bgoodman

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Re: Grave yard etiquette
« Reply #80 on: Saturday 08 October 22 17:50 BST (UK) »
Hi, not sure if you have already seen the list of names at Christ Church St Albans Road Watford Herts.