Letter to an unknown relative

[tsumi]

Hi all
Well after finding someone who I met at a family funeral many years ago,and was very interested in all she had to say to me , I have found out who and what her name is (a distant cousin).Thing is, there are two of them and I can only suppose which one I met .Now comes the difficult bit how do I go about writing a letter to her, what would I put,what wouldn't,t I put,would I write at all ? Her husband I have found, has done Family History and would send an email but the email address is void .Help Please.
  Cheers Tsumi

[old rowley]

morning Tsumi,

Tricky one I know having been there meself. The way that I got around the awkwardness of it when I wrote to the person concerned was firstly to introduce myself (again) saying where we had met (it was one of the wifes cousin's so she would not have remembered me that easily) and that I remembered that she had shown an interest in the fact that I was in the process of "doing" the family tree. I then went on to add that she had said to get in contact etc when things had settled down and this was what I was now doing. I included a print out of her own immediate family that I had with dates etc and asked if she would be so kind as to check that I had the details right and if not could she let me know. I also included a small family detail sheet that I have on file to show her the type of things that I am looking for i.e the usual dates of BMD (if applicable), as well as places of those things happening etc. I ended that if she was interested I would send her a full family tree once I had corrected any mistakes that she had found that I had made with her family (if any). The response was good and she actually sent me more than I had hoped for. I would also keep the covering letter light and chatty and include the fact that you had attempted to contact her husband in regards to yours, and his, research into the family but the e-mail addy that you have is now void which is why you are writing. As for "......would I write at all?........." go for it as you never know what might come to surface and you maybe kicking yourself later if you don't. Go on get the Biro out 

old rowley

[tsumi]

Hi Old Rowley ,Have taken on board what you have said and am in the process of writing a letter ,fingers crossed I have the right relation ,but nothing ventured etc .I must admit when I spoke to her all those years ago maybe 12 ,I found her a forthrite type of lady and am sure she knows an awful lot more than me about my fathers family ,he was an need to know type with any questions I asked .So I got very little out of him .
               Cheers Tsumi

[Ruskie]

I would enclose a self addressed envelope so the relative doesn't have to go to the trouble of buying a stamp.
It may be too early, but a list of simple questions may help jog her memory. Maybe initially send a chatty letter and ask her if she would mind if you asked her some further questions - basically like filling out a form -  you can leave some space for any other memories that she has.
Give her your phone number if it suits, as she may prefer to talk rather than write.
Good luck. It is daunting but you have noting to lose.

[JAP]

Couldn't agree more about enclosing a stamped SAE (SAE and international coupon if overseas), and about providing your own address (which will be on the SAE), telephone number, fax number if appropriate, and email address.  All of this shows your own bona fides and makes contact easy for the person you are approaching.

I wouldn't say too much at all in the initial approach - though I would offer, should the approached person be interested, to provide straightaway all the information and details which I have.

Regards,

JAP

[tsumi]

Well letter sent and have done all you recommend so it,s wait and see now.Many thanks to all of you for all the suggestions,and help .
Cheers Tsumi