My book, advice please.

[Simon G.]

In my opinion, no-one who's actively gone to the effort of finding a book that mentions their ancestors is going to be offended by the facts of that person's life.  When you try to find out about your ancestors, you're hopefully searching for the truth.  If someone's going to get offended by something they don't like, then they probably shouldn't have started in the first place.  Life has never been all rose-tinted and pretty, and if you hide facts on the basis of not offending someone than that's sad.
Ancestors (and all other people) should be accepted for who they are, not rejected when we find they don't quite meet with our expectations.

Good luck with the book.  It sounds like it's going to be a fascinating read.

[lizdb]

I agree with Simon. You are only stating facts, not judging or demeaning anyone. If someone wants to read about a family's history, then they want to read the family's history - not selected parts of it, or just the 'nice' bits, or it isnt a history at all.

My brother and I wrote a book on our family's history, and it never occurred to us not to include all the facts we had spent so long piecing together in order to make as accurate an account of the story of our family as possible. ANd, like most family stories, it contained a lot of illegitimacy, a suicide, a prisoner, etc. But that was the whole point, to tell the story of what actually happenend in our ancestors lives.

Maybe we are a hard hearted pair!

[mike175]

I'm also writing a family history book, though sadly have not found anything approaching a family scandal as yet . . . well, maybe one or two illegitimacies, and a bankruptcy, and a WW1 conscientious objector who was in Wormwood Scrubs for the duration!

In your case, I think I would ask all the family members I am in contact with (or at least, the ones whose opinion I respect). If there is serious concern, perhaps you should write the full story and keep it locked away for posterity, then publish a censored version for those of a sensitive nature!

Mike.

[halfasheep]

It's a very grey area isn't it? I appreciate that during the compilation of the family tree, certain "skeletons" will be found, whether it's my gt gt grandad who was imprisoned for bigamy, or what appears to be almost every single marriage down one family line being the result of an unexpected pregnancy (me included!).

I know my gran dislikes the story of her father commiting bigamy, but her sister and brother think it's amusing. The marriages a few months before children being born didn't overly amuse my grandfather, but his sister has the "these things did happen" attitude.

The older generation (me being a sprightly 28) do tend to frown upon these things a bit, and it can be upsetting especially if they really looked up to the person concerned, but I for one think it's fantasticly interesting and really adds some meat to the bones of the skeletons in our closets

[KathMc]

I definitely agree halfasheep. And in regards to this paricular case, it is a 4xggrandfather, so so far removed from any living people, I say go for it.

Kath

[pettsy]

Thank you for all your replies.
It seems we all have some sort of skeleton in our cupboards.

I will go ahead and add it, I can't see how I can not, it's part of my families history.

I will keep you posted on my progress.

Pettsy

[kojak]

Mike175 - Hollywood blockbusters have been tagged as classics with less susbstance/plot/background etc etc. 

The conscientious objector part of your ancestry could open up an interesting story.  For instance did any family member serve in WWII?

Sounds really interesting to me.

Good luck to you on your book writing (and to you as well pettsy).

Jak 

[Simon G.]

In my opinion conscientious objectors were just as brave as those who fought.  It takes a great deal of courage to stand up for what you believe in when you live in a world that would have ostracised you (if not worse) for doing what you think is right.  They certainly weren't the cowards society would have made them out to be...the strength of character and determination to stick by your beliefs is something that should be admired and respected.  If I had some in my tree, I'd feel it important to tell their story.

[mike175]

Pleased to see the support for my grandad's conscience . . . I am indeed very proud of him for standing up for his beliefs, and I wish I'd had the sense to ask him more about his experiences. I believe his future wife's family virtually disowned her because of her association with him!

On the other side, I have some very touching and fascinating letters collected by my other grandmother, from her brothers who were serving in WW1, one losing his life, another his right arm.

There are so many individual stories to tell, I just hope I can do them justice . . . eventually. It's going to be a long job. 

Mike.