Hi Christan,
There was James Howard Fetherston Haugh who was shot near Killucan, Co. Westmeath in April 1868 by a man named Coughlan who was later helped by another Landlord, D'Arcy. D'Arcy sent Coughlan away to America to save him from the Constabulary. It appears though, that he did not need to help him. Legend has it that there was 4 or 5 witnesses to the shooting who would not tell the Constabulary or the family who shot him. Even when the family put up a £300 reward (a fantastic amount of money at the time), all the witnesses still swore that they did not know the shooter. this statement rang hollow with the authorities as Coughlan was something of a celebrity as years previously, D'Arcy's son got into trouble while swimming in the canal at a bridge now called "D'Arcy's bridge. D'Arcy was so grateful that he swore to Coughlan that he would be forever in his gratitude.
The Featherstown-Haugh's were detested in Killucan and that feeling was so strong that the witnesses turned down the chance to earn enough to buy a considerable sized farm.
The Featherston-Haugh were the same family as the Featherstons originally but I believe that the Featherston Haugh's believed themselves to be better than the rest of their family. The family home was named Featherston Haugh (Featherstons House) and that was what the break away family called themselves from that point on. The connection between both Families were well and truly severed.
I hope this helps. Although, you state that his wife was in america by 1863. This might still be the same man your looking for.