Amended Birth Certificate

[coffeegossip]

Dear Annie - post above.
Thank you for those thoughts. When I confessed to my uncle I had uncovered a family secret about my mother - he wrongly assumed I knew about my brother, and I pretended I did so he would not feel bad about spilling the beans. Luckily I had a very loving upbringing and whatever the outcome will not tell my brother he may only be half brother, he has always been a whole brother to me. I am just naturally curious about anomilies and so want to tie all these ends together for my own satisfaction. In many ways I admire my mother for managing to hide this for so long. I stumbled upon it purely by accident when researching something else that was going nowhere.
My mother was always a bit vague about when she got married was it 1948,or 49 etc. So I decided to check, couldnt find it so thought it might be even further back so clicked on 10 years plus or minus never for one moment considering it might be plus. Bingo one result popped up in 1961, as you can imagine my curiousity got the better of me and I went off on all sorts of tangents hence finding the deed poll - courtesy of a rootsweb member.
I have to assume my father either pretended he was my brothers father or he really was and therefore managed to amend the birth cert. I am curious to see what arrives in the post.

[pinefamily]

There are several things to take out of this.
Firstly, as Annie has said, does it matter if your brother is "half" or "full"? It shouldn't change how you feel about him. Both of my parents were married before; I have 2 paternal half-sisters, and 1 maternal half-brother. Growing up, it didn't matter one whit to me, they were all my siblings. The only time I use the terminology is to explain to people our family dynamic.
Regarding your father claiming your brother as his own, it is possible he was the biological parent, despite the paperwork. You made mention of your father's "original" wife. Does that mean your father was married previously? If so, that could be the answer to the problem. If the marriage had not been officially severed by the time your brother was born, your father may not have wished his name on the certificate; that is provided your mother even had informed him of her pregnancy at the time.
The other scenario, which I can personally relate to myself, is that your father has met your mother and taken her as a "package deal" with her baby son. I did the same with my current wife; I helped her to raise her two children, as well as our own son. They even took my name on starting school to make matters easier. I consider them my own, and even now they still call me Dad.
Either possibility can fit in with your father's first marriage (?). That would explain why they did not marry until much later.
As Annie said, it is all very personal and much more confronting when it is now with people we know and love, rather than back in the dusty pages of history.

Darren

[Jeuel]

Your uncle is telling you what he was told - or what he remembers being told.  This may or may not be true.

As for them pretending your brother was 2 years younger than he was - did they?  You were around when he was at school, did he seem older than his classmates?

I think that its more likely that your parents met before your uncle thought they did.  If your father was already married they would probably have been very discreet about their relationship, maybe only the arrival of your brother allowed them to acknowledge it.

[groom]

I think that its more likely that your parents met before your uncle thought they did.  If your father was already married they would probably have been very discreet about their relationship, maybe only the arrival of your brother allowed them to acknowledge it.

I think this is probably what happened as well. I think it is highly unlikely that he went through life 2 years younger than his real age. If you think about it there is a lot of difference between a 2 year old and a 4 year old.

[coffeegossip]

Thank you all for your views, it has given me a lot to think about. I hadnt really considered the option that because my father was married they would have to be discreet. And yes, it would be tricky to pretend a child was a different age. If my dad took on the whole package which how would they alter the birth cert later on? I have ordered a copy so will post when it arrives in case there are any clues.

[carol8353]

Don't forget that back then having a child out of wedlock was very much frowned upon,whereas today we take it as the norm. Your mum would have done everything she could to have disguised the fact to you kids and to the neighbours and anyone else who could have found out the truth.

When I started my family tree I discovered that my mum's older brother was born after just 5 months of marriage.My mum never knew that,and I think it came as a shock to her. So even something as simple as that was frowned upon,despite the fact that it so often happened 

Carol

[pinefamily]

Yes indeed. My grandmother was more forthcoming with information when I asked than any of her own children could believe. The only thing she hid away and tried to deflect was the fact she was born to a single mother, in the destitute asylum hospital. I was lucky in a sense to only find that out after her passing. I don't think I could ever have raised the subject with her.

Darren

[coffeegossip]

Dear Annie - post above.
Thank you for those thoughts. When I confessed to my uncle I had uncovered a family secret about my mother - he wrongly assumed I knew about my brother, and I pretended I did so he would not feel bad about spilling the beans. Luckily I had a very loving upbringing and whatever the outcome will not tell my brother he may only be half brother, he has always been a whole brother to me. I am just naturally curious about anomilies and so want to tie all these ends together for my own satisfaction. In many ways I admire my mother for managing to hide this for so long. I stumbled upon it purely by accident when researching something else that was going nowhere.
My mother was always a bit vague about when she got married was it 1948,or 49 etc. So I decided to check, couldnt find it so thought it might be even further back so clicked on 10 years plus or minus never for one moment considering it might be plus. Bingo one result popped up in 1961, as you can imagine my curiousity got the better of me and I went off on all sorts of tangents hence finding the deed poll - courtesy of a rootsweb member.
I have to assume my father either pretended he was my brothers father or he really was and therefore managed to amend the birth cert. I am curious to see what arrives in the post.

[coffeegossip]

Birth Cert has arrived and it all looks in order except in the date birth registered box there is also a small number in the left hand corner of that box that says 194. Is this a cross reference to something? It has my fathers name and profession as well as my mothers name and maiden name - even though I have found the official deed poll name change to be two years after this date! I guess the little 194 must refer to something but how can I find out?