I have acquired further information about John Carlile from the Granya Pioneer Museum - still nothing conclusive, but may help anyone else is interested in this enquiry.
Apparently John was the first of the Carliles to come to Australia. Originally coming for a visit, he decided to stay and became a policeman. When news of this reached the family back in Ireland, the other son, Robert, was sent to fetch him home. This could have been around 1851. Robert had been studying to become a doctor but on finding his brother, he too decided that his future lay in this new country.
It seems the two brothers both settled in NSW around the Albury district. John married Julia Reilly in Albury in 1862. Robert had married a widow Mary O'Connor (nee Clancy). The births of John and Julia's first 6 children were registered in Albury. Robert and Mary also had 6 (or 7) children registered in Albury.
Both brothers sucessfully applied for land in the Granya area around the mid 1870's. John seems to have had a chequered life. Looks like he was swindled out of his land over a road contract deal he had with a Reilly (possibly his brother-in-law) who made off with the entire payroll. John was forced to sell up to settle the debt. Following the death of John's first wife, Julia, in 1885 from a gastric ulcer, he married the widow Agnes Garing in 1886. Hearsay has it that Agnes "kicked" John and his family out around two years later.
So he had lost his land and his 2nd wife, so presumably moved on. It is not exactly known what became of him or where he died, although it seems some of his family remained in the district.
My wife's connection is John's youngest daughter, Margaret May who married a Sydney James Cross. From what I have been told, very little was spoken about in the Cross family with respect to family history. There was a vague reference to a "cruel step-mother". Could this have been Agnes?
Hope this is of interest to some. I will keep looking to see if I can find out more about John.
Brendan