James Graves of Walmer joined the army on Jan 31, 1853@ Canterbury, Kent; served for a total of 21 years and 304 days according to military records (Chelsea pension records) and was stationed in the West Indies for nearly nineteen of them. He was discharged on Nov 30, 1874 having never received a single promotion during his lengthy service. Arthur, the eldest of his eight issues, was born on Nov 11, 1856 in Barbados and dipped there on Mar 14, 1857 according to military records (National Archives); my great great grandfather, Laban Graves, was born on June 9, 1864 on the same island and dipped there too on Sept 17, 1864.
After leaving the army James Graves moved to Portsea, Hants where he according to the 1891 and 1901 Census returns worked as either a "general labourer" or a "labourer in shipyard". His death certificate, of which I have a copy, shows he passed away whilst at work (at the docks) on Jan 9, 1911 of "heart failure" and "old age". My 82-year-old ancestor was buried five days later @ the Royal Victoria Hospital, nr. Southampton.
I haven't found any evidence he actually ever wed Dorothy Lashley. I have carefully studied the relevant military records during his time in the West Indies, but to no avail. And as British regimental records were scrupulously kept even then, especially on all things matrimonial, I can only conclude they never were legally man and wife.
