Nil Return

[Leslie N]

I wonder how many people like myself, try after researching ancestors actually take things further by writing to the last know address of a relative?
Recently, I went to all the trouble of doing this and even enclosed a SAE for a return message, in fact I've done this twice over the years, and sadly in both cases there has not been even a quick Email message or a reply in the post, an apology was also included in the letter to the occupant of the address at the time.
I just feel, there could be someone out there who is connected to the ancestor I'm researching, but at present have drawn a blank.
Have other members of this Forum sent letters off, and have they experienced what I have gone through as detailed above, if so I'd like to hear their response whether it be good or bad please.

[LizzieW]

Not quite the same thing, but I had a daughter who I gave up for adoption and whilst she and her adoptive father were trying to trace me, they wrote to the address given on the birth certificate of my youngest child.  My family and I had moved, as we did frequently with my husband's work, but they did get a response and the people now living in the house were, apparently, very helpful in telling my daughter and her adoptive father where we'd gone to.  Unfortunately, we'd moved on from there to, but as I can tell you this you'll realise they did catch up with me in the end.

[Sinann]

I've received a letter, well my aunt did and passed it to me, it was bit more random, the person wrote to everyone in the county of that name. I did send an e mail, I couldn't help though.

My experience is that strangers or people with quite distant links are far more helpful that relatives.

[ThrelfallYorky]

I once got a 'phone call out of the blue from someone looking for family members with our surname. After I'd told him no, but from looking locally at census returns I could tell him who he did mean, I asked him how he'd got hold of our number - totally ex-directory. End of call.

[purplekat]

I was given a newspaper clipping a few years ago, (through a chance encounter with a stranger in a library).  It was a letter printed in a local paper about my ancestors with a name and an address in Australia.  It turned out it was an 86 year old man who's sister had researched our family history.  He gave me the address of his nephew, who lives about an hour away. 

I then wrote to his nephew who emailed me straight away then invited me to his house where he allowed me access to his mother's research, (which was the same as mine but must have taken her a lot longer as she had pencilled notes of info I had downloaded in seconds.)  There were loads of old family photos, i saw my g grandfather for the first time and my gg grandparents and he was kind enough to let borrow the photos to scan.  I now have photos of people who had previously just been names in census returns.

[Dunk]

I have had the same thing hapen to me , sent email and stamped addressed envelope and no reply despite the fact i know the people are related and met them as a child and are  living at that address ,can only assume they are not interested in family history or cant be bothered.
                                                                                                                           Jim

[giblet]

I feel if there is some disharmony within the family this can sometimes prevent people from contacting. I found who supposedly was my uncle whilst trying to find my grandfather. Even tho "uncle" was happy enough to pass a little info on to me through a 3rd party he wanted no contact. I obtained my supposedly grandfather's will and "uncle" had inherited very little with his cousin inheriting bulk of the estate. Why would my grandfather leave bulk of his estate to his nephew and not his son? Contacting people means talking about family and if there is hurt amongst it a lot of people understandably wont go there. We have to respect that and move on.

[Leslie N]

I fully appreciate all the replies to what I've written and I thank those members for their replies.
What the replies prove as one member has pointed out, that not everyone is interested in family history which all of us who are know is a shame, only too often later in life do people decide they want to know things and then in many cases it is too late.
So I'm not alone in not getting replies back, and I try not to get upset about it because I half expected it not too happen, but it would have been great if there had been one.
Having carried out family history research for over 10 years, one gets to accept the ups and downs of researching and the inevitable brick walls.
I hope there will be more members who will write in with their experiences of posting letters off, and getting no replies.

[MonicaL]

Hi Leslie N

Keep hopeful  The type of contact you are trying to make now is tricky and fraught with ups and downs.

I am in Sinann's camp with their earlier post. I received a letter out of the blue from a stranger a few years ago. 6 pages of his story, including photos and quite personal details. He was in his early 20s and a complicated family and early start. He thought I was the person he was looking for...but I wasn't. Like Sinann, I replied to him. I felt really sorry I wasn't connected to him as I really wanted to help. Mad really 

On the other hand...an uplifting story about people and contact out of the blue. I was involved on a search here on RC a few years ago. This related to a person, let's have him as the 'Italian War Baby' (WW2). Illegitimate only son of a Scottish soldier. Fast speed dial....to 2011, I found a half sister, an only child to same father, living in London. I contacted her via a cousin. She called me back. Aside from the shock at the age of 70 of finding out these details, she opened up her life to this stranger, her half brother. Happy ending for them in so many wonderful ways.

Keep optimistic about your searches always, regardless of bumps along the way!

Monica