BBC1 Family Finders

[Gillg]

BumbleB

What's "normal"?  I'm glad you inserted inverted commas, because i don't think there is a "normal" family nowadays, or even was many years ago.  We can see that from our own family records.  My own brother was adopted when my parents were told they would never have children - lo, and behold, I came along a year later.  We were a very happy and close family.  I have two adopted children who came to us at 6 weeks old and we like to think that we are a "normal" happy family, too.  My cousin has two adopted and two children of her own.  My step-brother also has two adopted and two of his own. A second cousin has three adopted children.  We all like to think we have "normal" families.  All these families have been lucky enough to enjoy  stable and strong relationships.

Unhappiness with issues around parents, whether adoptive or natural, is not uncommon, and you can't blame children for wanting to know about their origins - the usual practice is for this to be provided when the child is adopted, to be passed to the child when he/she is old enough.  Current family relationships can become very complicated as people change partners and their children are expected to adapt.

I'm sure you didn't mean to offend, BumbleB, but perhaps a better, less emotive word would have been "standard". 

Gillg

[larkspur]

Looking here
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/normal
I think I prefer it to
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/standard?s=t
I certainly would sooner have
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/regular?s=t

But then everyone to their own.
No offence meant 

[silvery]

I think BumbleB might have meant (in the context of her reply) that some people haven't lost touch with siblings or parents, which is a very sad thing to happen.   

[Ruskie]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbhistory/NF2233810?thread=3255389&skip=0

The BBC messageboards are still there, although they are closed.

The link opens with a message that says <cannot log> which you need to OK, and then a longer one which you also need to OK before you can read the thread.  The first message of the thread was removed, but you can pick up the story as you read through the rest.

Thank you. 

[majm]

I think BumbleB might have meant (in the context of her reply) that some people haven't lost touch with siblings or parents, which is a very sad thing to happen.

Yes, that's how I read BumbleB's post too.  To me a "normal" family is simply a family that strives to keep in touch, without judging each other.   To me 'family' can be more than the "Mum, Dad and 2 kids" from the nuclear family https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Nuclear_family .  Perhaps .... perhaps IF 'nuclear' and 'normal' were interchangeable in BumbleB's post, then perhaps there's some concerns.  But BumbleB did not use the word 'nuclear' so I am having trouble seeing any offence.

Please Gillg, please please don't read too much between the lines as I am quite sure there's many family groups who would prefer to be known as 'normal' families and who may well include adopted and/or fostered children within their family, or include within the one household, grandparents, cousins, and other family members under the one 'umbrella' expression 'normal' family.   To me, born and raised in rural New South Wales, Australia, post WWII, .... we were a normal family, .... we kept in touch ... we still keep in touch .... Our normal family included grandparents, great aunts/uncles, parents, aunts,uncles, brothers, sisters, fostered brothers, fostered sisters, cousins and others....   And at school there were many other family groups of similar structures... all normally living as part of the one household per each group.   

So, sorry you are offended by our fellow RChatter's word, but I am quite sure BumbleB does not intend to cause any offence.

So, simply put I don't read the word 'normal' as an emotive word in BumbleB's post.

Cheers,  JM   

[Ruskie]

Agree with JM and the others. You just have to be so damn careful these days as people seem to easily take offence where none is intended. The word "normal" was also put in brackets presumably to try to avoid offending.

[Peter654]

I record them and look at them in the evening or the next day in some cases.  Then it does not matter when they first show them, you then can pick a time your self to view hnem.
Regards
Peter

[coombs]

It is good that a lot of the people are doing the research themselves or getting some assistance from the Salvation Army.

I am trying to find who my grans half brothers first wife and children were but with a pretty common name it is quite hard. I know his DOB as I have his birth cert and have a middle name and I have listed potential marriages 1934-1955 and found where he died and who his 2nd wife was but thats it. I like doing the research myself, a one man research army.

[coombs]

Duplicate post.