Barbara you sound nice. What is the best way I can kindly let him know my feelings?
Thank you, and sorry for not replying earlier. I have been reading the thread but on my phone, and I don't like typing a lot on my phone.
You say "...when he says 'well sort of' that is when I feel he is putting me down."
I think the key thing there is
you feel he is putting you down. You respond that way to his words, but he doesn't necessarily mean to make you feel that way. I think you know this because you want to 'kindly' let him know your feelings and not upset him. If you really thought he was just being rude, you could just come out and say so.
Have you considered that in saying '... this is my cousin - sort of..' he's actually putting himself down, not you? Because he knows he's just about to make a mess - again! - of explaining the whole second cousin thing? So he's actually being a bit self-deprecating and is hoping you'll help him out again because he still hasn't got the hang of it.
I know you've said "he can't even explain the tree, which is annoying since I showed him the tree many times and it's actually quite simple" but as others here have pointed out, many of us have the same difficulty. After 10 years doing my family tree, I still need to look at a chart to work out the whole cousin thing. So even though it's annoying to you, if he's a good friend in other ways I think you should be kind and give him a bit more time. Next time he refers to you as 'my cousin, sort of..' just say (with a smile) 'we're not sort-of-cousins, we're second cousins because our grandparents were siblings - I'm going to get it put on a t-shirt for him one day'
You could even literally get it put on a t-shirt and give it to him for a present!
Barbara