Ancestry matches don't reply to me....

[Lisa in California]

Welcome to RootsChat from me, too.

Hi Lizzie,

…Unfortunately, my grandfather was born in the Philippines in 1895, so I don't have any access to newspaper reports…

Did he remain in the Philippines?  If not, have you checked newspapers either where he lived during his life, or where the matches’ grandparents lived?

Can you contact the match with whom you feel might be the most likely to reply, mentioning that once your family details were given to all of the matches, contact stopped on their ends (writing the statement as politely as possible, of course).  If you truly believe you will be able to accept any honest reply or upsetting events about your grandfather, perhaps also convey that in the message.  If your grandfather did “do something”, perhaps the matches are concerned about your reaction (might you feel differently about your grandfather).

Are all of the matches closely related and if so, were messages sent in a relatively short time frame?  Again, if so, perhaps a family issue came up and the matches are concerned about an event(s) in their lives and have put genealogy on hold.

Hoping you get resolution, Lisa

[michelles5257]

Thank you Lisa in California! This has occurred over the past two years.  The only connection between the cousin matches is that their ancestors (grandparents in most cases) were born in the same place as my grandfather (Pampanga in the Philippines), and they were cousin matches with me and with each other.  I recently tried getting back in touch with one of the "disappearing cousins", who I had last been in touch with almost two years ago.  She replied with a quick "I'll ask" and disappeared again.  My brother and I are wondering if perhaps  these "disappearing cousins matches" are being told by their grandparents or even great grandparents not to communicate with us. This combined with the fact that there is absolutely no trace of our grandfather until he came to the United States after World War I is peculiar.  And none of the cousin matches have our grandfather's supposed last name.  A real Sherlock Holmes mystery.  We need Henry Louis Gates' help! 😁

[Lisa in California]

I suppose there could be any number of reasons for the things you just mentioned.

Here are just three that I’ve run across:

My ancestor gave up a child for adoption (prior to her eventual marriage to my ancestor). This baby’s descendant and I found each other though a DNA match, subsequent research, and her brief family information.  We both were thrilled to find each other. However, a couple of my distant relatives want to keep this “secret” from their relatives, which I highly respect.

While researching for someone (“John”), I found a despicable, presumed crime for which his ancestor was accused. The ancestor was jailed, eventually the verdict was reversed, and he was released from jail.  I continue to research for John and periodically wonder if his ancestor was falsely accused, or did he commit the crime and shouldn’t have been released.

While researching for an elderly friend, I found out his ancestors were from Greece (and another country; I now don’t remember which one).  He was devastated as he was always told by his family that their ancestors were German.  He never accepted my findings; to this day I wish I had made clear that findings can be upsetting.

So, your cousins could have their own stories, or it could be something as simple as they just aren’t interested in genealogy. 

Added:  do the matches have any online photographs of their ancestors?  If so, do you see any resemblances.

[michelles5257]

Lisa in California, thank you for sharing your interesting stories and perspective! I completely forgot to mention...... Once my grandfather came to the United States in 1919, he never ever returned to the Philippines even to visit his family. This further adds to my "theory" that  he did something (committed a crime perhaps) in the Philippines.  I totally agree with you that sometimes cousin matches are not really interested in communicating, but what stands out is that there were several tjst initially expressed interest to me and/or my brother, but as soon as we gave the information of our grandfather's name and date of birth, and that he was born in Pampanga, they would disappear, and even read our messages but not reply after that.  There was one that was even interested enough to give me her cell number, and we had progressed to texting each other.  She had said she was going to talk to her grandparents, but she too disappeared after I gave her Grandpa's information. 

[Lisa in California]

Since you unfortunately cannot view newspapers from pre-WWI, maybe you can try additional research for your grandfather. Do you have any other close matches for him?

Another story (sorry) 
A few years ago, I found out a friend’s grandfather was actually not his birth grandfather. While I now know the “family” involved, I have yet to find out which son in the family “met up” with my friend’s grandmother.

Maybe if you check any and all matches for your grandfather, you can determine his “correct” surname?  Results could suggest that the surname issue is more likely to be from a nefarious (crime rather than family) reason?

[michelles5257]

Lisa from California, good suggestions! Unfortunately, the cousin matches have several different names, so I can't really narrow it down.  I even found a website that had lawsuits from the early 1900s in the Philippines, but I couldn't find anything. 

[Lisa in California]

Lisa from California, good suggestions! Unfortunately, the cousin matches have several different names, so I can't really narrow it down.  I even found a website that had lawsuits from the early 1900s in the Philippines, but I couldn't find anything.

Can you search Anc*try, using all of his details but omitting his surname? Would additional DNA (unrelated to the cousins) matches pop up, I wonder?

Feel free to use just Lisa in replies. 
I’m Canadian but live in California. I only added California to my name in case others are looking for California help and notice my residence place. (Hope that makes sense.)

[michelles5257]

Thank you Lisa! I actually did try what you suggested a few days ago on Ancestry, and unfortunately I only found what I already had on my grandfather.  No one else came up with his date of birth. 

[Lisa in California]

Thank you Lisa! I actually did try what you suggested a few days ago on Ancestry, and unfortunately I only found what I already had on my grandfather.  No one else came up with his date of birth.

If he was hiding something, he could have intentionally changed his birth information.

If you are comfortable doing so, feel free to send me a private message with his details and I will have a look around.  If you would prefer not to share information, I understand.   .  I will be back later tonight; we need to get supper ready.