280cm match with incorrect tree

[Tsiomas]

Hello this is my first post. 
I have managed to find 95 dna matches to my birth mother and linked them to my tree.   

I now have a dna match of 280cm who is rather unhelpful, although he states in his profile that he researches for a profession.  Here is his reply .....My father has documents of family dead and illegitimate, i find it unacceptable to share information under the GDPR rules. Ive spoken to my father tonight he's more confused than i am.

I have build his tree (correctly as his is way off) This person does not share any matches with anyone else and his tree doesnt link anywhere. 

Do you think there is an adoption somewhere that they are unaware of?  How do I get this guy to even reply to me or speak openly to try and work out our match.

Any ideas are more than welcome

[Flemming]

Hello Tsiomas, and welcome to RootsChat.

Which site have you tested with?

Also, are saying you have built a tree for the 280cM match and it doesn’t tie in with either your maternal or paternal line?

[Tsiomas]

I have tested with Ancestry and 23andme and uploaded my raw data to other sites. 

Yes, I have built his tree and it doesnt tie into anywhere/anyone/branch.

[Gadget]

Hi and welcome

I'm also rather confused, like Fleming,  as I see that you are possibly quoting what he said in reply but then you seem to refer to your own tree 

If your match and you share 280cM, then it is likely a close match - see  https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4   for possible relationship.

It's disappointing to get a negative reply to a request but we can't expect people to share their genealogical information if they don't want to. There are a few threads on here that showing that many shared matches  don't even reply to messages.

But don't give up - try again giving some info about your findings.


Gadget

[Craclyn]

Be nice when you contact him and don’t let your frustrations show. Thank him for getting back to you. Explain that they do not need to worry about GDPR where the deceased are concerned and that you would be open to further comparison of information with him if he ever decides he would be interested in trying to work out your relationship.

He is under no obligation to share anything with you if he does not want to so you will just have to wait until he changes his mind or until some shared matches come along that will help you to make more sense of the match.

[IgorStrav]

Welcome to Rootschat!

I agree with the previous posters that whilst it's very frustrating, some approaches to DNA matches are met with either silence, or a disappointingly unhelpful reply.  You are very much not alone.

In addition, whilst I don't have a match as high as yours with someone I can't identify in my tree, I DO have >100cM matches where I've not been able to track down where the mutual ancestor is, despite extensive searching of the sibling lines of both my tree and theirs (sometimes I've had to construct theirs)

You can try and maintain cordial contact as Craclyn says, and have a good look at locations and timings in your tree and their tree to see if you can find any likely links.

But if your match (or his/her father) is worried about illegitimacy and non marital relationships - and some people are much more concerned and ashamed of this than others - then you may only be able to theorise rather than prove.

Good luck!  And if anyone here can help with any specific research queries, do post!