Just popping in to catch up ..
I won't say too much as this is about a living person but since the last time I posted on the diary a close member of my family took seriously ill and had to be rushed into hospital. I was on my way to nightshift when I got the news. Only their spouse was allowed into hospital when it was feared they might die. Then once there was a slight recovery even they were not permitted to stay. When this happened I felt quite shaken up and it felt very distressing not to be able to go to the hospital when things were really bad or to visit as things improved.
Although, I was quite upset I decided to carry on to work the first night and to keep working. Although it was difficult I didn't see any point in just sitting at home because of not being allowed to rush in/visit. The first few days I filled with working and worrying and praying. However, the good news is the NHS saved my family member's life. They are now at home in recovery. All of us in my family are of the opinion that our relative was discharged far too early but I daresay they need the beds for the most urgent cases. I have kept meaning to post a diary entry but things have just felt so surreal with something so awful happening but life just carrying on as normal - I just couldn't summon up words. I have felt guilty about having carried on life as normal but the only alternative was to sit at home. Partly, I have carried on as normal as it was hard to face things otherwise. Anyway, it is good that things seem getting better.
Getting back to the present .. yesterday, Wednesday, I was on the bus and I couldn't believe it when an elderly man sat himself down next to me! Only last week I had said to someone, that even when life gets back to normal I don't think I will feel comfortable about having a stranger sit next to me on a bus - a least for a while. So I couldn't believe it that someone would do this when we are still in lockdown and should be social distancing. The bus was quite busy but I saw that there were some vacant seats. My mind started to race and I thought 'What do I do?! What do I do?!'. I wondered how I could remind him about distancing and politely ask him to move or whether I should ask let me out so I could move. However, just at that point a man sitting in front got up for his stop and the man next to me moved to his place. Gosh! I really don't know what he was thinking to have plonked himself down next to me!!
The buses have decreased of late and this is more noticeable at night. Notices were put up at the bus station stating that this is because of reduced staff and passengers and that people should check websites for revised timetables. Someone wrote on one notice pointing out that not everyone has the internet to check. I saw a staff member read this and then they tore it down. So much for that person's protest.
I will be glad when the buses increase again. If I finish work late at night I have quite a bit of time to fill waiting around for my second bus. It can feel a bit creepy with the bus stands empty or almost empty and hardly anyone about. Although, the place is brightly lit and I have been told there is CCTV. On Sunday, late at night, one man turned up when I felt practically on my own and the place seemed so isolated. I thought 'Oh my gosh!' but thankfully he just kept his distance and kept himself to himself. Then two more separate men came and each kept to themselves as well until their bus came. Shortly after that my bus came.
Thankfully, I am on an early start nightshift block from tonight so won't have to worry about feeling isolated at the bus station late at night.
