Elizabeth Wither b.1811 Leswalt

[Esspee]

Elizabeth married James McHarg in 1828, they had 3 children then she reverted to her maiden name and moved back in with her father.  Another woman, Maria or Minnie Adair moved in with James, they had 2 children.
I had assumed Elizabeth died but finding her back with her father under her maiden name has motivated me to investigate what happened.  Does anyone have an interest in this family or any suggestions as to what might have happened?  I assume divorce in those days would have been unheard of in their social strata.
My tree is rather boring so mysteries like this are a welcome diversion.  Any assistance welcome.

[Millmoor]

Have you considered looking at the kirk session records to see if they shed any light on the matter?

William

[MonicaL]

Looks like they just lived apart in later years from what you say.)

Just as an aside. Women in Scotland never lost their legal use of the maiden surnames. This is the reason why maiden names for married women feature so strongly (deaths recorded with both surnames, gravestone show maiden name for married women etc).

Did Elizabeth died after 1855 to let you check what her death registration showed?

Monica

[Esspee]

Thank you for that suggestion.  I started on my tree during lockdown so am inexperienced.  Where might I find Kirk Session records?  I am aware that they pontificated on morality issues so that sounds an excellent approach.

[Millmoor]

They are to be found on Scotland's People. You can read them for free but have to use credits for any you download.

I do note that the Elizabeth Wither in Leswalt is recorded as unmarried in the censuses she appears in from 1851 onwards. It is worth observing that she may be a different Elizabeth to the one in your family. Death records can be very hard to locate in pre 1855 Scotland and the record of a second marriage for James McHarg may simply not have survived.

William

[Esspee]

Monica
That is very interesting about the legality of a woman’s maiden name.
Elizabeth’s death is registered under her maiden name and she is stated as being single.  It was reported by her niece.
It is rare for a woman to leave her children to be brought up by another woman so this is quite a mystery.
Incidentally her replacement, Minnie Adair, was stated as being the widow of James McHarg on her death certificate and James’s death certificate gives Minnie as his widow.  I can find no record of them being married. (might have been bigamous if they had married)

[Esspee]

William,
Thank you for your help.  I fortunately have been able to access all the immediate records, even the pre 1855 ones as the Wither family were members of Ivy Place Associate Church Stranraer.
Elizabeth appears in the 1841 census too, living with her father under her maiden name.  The year of birth matches, she is listed as her father’s daughter and she stayed with him until his death.  Her disappearance from her marital home and reappearance with her father tie in.  I really would be surprised if it turned out to be a different person.
Your suggestion about Kirk session records will be acted on tomorrow.  I hope the Ivy Place Associate Church can spread light on why she left her children to be brought up by another woman.

[MonicaL]

Have you been able to check what her three children stated about their mother on their marriage regs (if they married)? They may have married before 1855 and no way of checking this as you know.

Monica

[Esspee]

Thanks Monica, they were all married just before 1855 but on the death certificates of two of them the mother is given as Elizabeth McHarg m.s.Wither. I haven’t found a death certificate for the third child and suspect he emigrated.  The birth records of all three clearly have Elizabeth Wither as the mother.