Cannot find the marriage for Francis Boustead and Sarah Lawson (Hetherington)

[This Boy]

Sarah Lawson was born in 1831 at Canonbie, Dumfriesshire.

By 1841 she was living in Ainstable, Cumberland with her mum and a Joseph Hetherington who wasn't her dad. She was still with the family at the same place in 1851. By Feb 1852 she has a child, William, in Ainstable with Frances Boustead who worked for a relative of Sarah's as a farm labourer. She then has four more Bousted children in Ainstable before the 1861 census where she is listed as Sarah Boustead, the wife of Francis.

I am probably going to embarrass myself again as I cannot find a marriage for Frances and Sarah either as Sarah Lawson or Sarah Hetherington. I guess it would most likely have been 1851/52. I am reassured that my 4th cousin in Canada (a DNA match) also cannot find it. That said, just about every time I put a request on here for help someone pops up and finds what I need in double quick time. So, I actually hope I embarrassed again.

If no one can find a marriage I would welcome any suggestions about why that may be.

[mckha489]

If no one can find a marriage I would welcome any suggestions about why that may be.

They may not have actually married. Just presented themselves as a couple.

[KGarrad]

Or possibly an irregular marriage in Scotland?

[This Boy]

Thank you both. Very plausible suggestions. I am not sure that I understand what an irregular marriage in Scotland was but I believe it was easier for English couples to marry in Scotland and they were living near the border. Would there be no records to find if they had done so.

An update.

I think I have have just found the birth for the first of the children I thought was from a Bousted/Lawson( Hetherington) marriage. Willian Hetherington seems to have been born illegitimately in the Carlisle workhouse on 24/2/52. Sarah Hetherington is the mother. This ties in with the 1861 census where William is listed as having being born in the Carlisle Union. All the other kids are listed as having been born in Dale which included Ainstable at the time. Explains why I can find baptisms and births in Ainstable and Penrith for the latter three but not for William, who it seems started life as William Hetherington and then took the name Boustead. That means the marriage would likely be after February 1852 and certainly calls into question whether Francis Boustead was, in fact, the father of William Hetherington Boustead. I suspect not.

The next child and the first we can definitively say was a Francis Boustead/Sarah Lawson (Hetherington) child was baptised in August 1854 at Ainstable. Thinking now that the marriage, if there was one - I suspect there was - will have been between February 1852 and August 1854.

[robbiesmum]

A Frank Boustead of Ainstable was a witness in a fairly notorious  trial in 1857, of a William Graham tried at the Carlisle Assizes for murder, I'm guessing that could be your man? His wife was named then as Sarah Boustead. Not much help though in finding the marriage, sorry.

Finding irregular marriages can be very difficult, there being several different registers in different locations, and if you do find one it doesn't usually give any more information than you already know. But its worth searching a bit earlier than you expect, incase either Sarah or Francis had been married previously, especially if you think William is not Francis Boustead's son - Sarah could have had a brief previous irregular marriage, which prevented her from marrying again.

[This Boy]

Robbiesmum,

Thank you. You are right. This was absolutely our Francis Boustead, one and the same man who provided the key evidence in that trial. The Judge, in summing up, told the jury that if they believe Francis Boustead then Graham must hang. If they didn't believe Boustead then Graham would be guilty of manslaughter not murder.

The jury didn't believe him and clearly felt that he had provided the information, which was damning regarding premeditation, solely for the reward. The Judge in sentencing Graham to transportation for manslaughter said that he agreed with the jury. The police officer in charge of the case defended Boustead who pointed out he had conveyed the crucial information to his wife Sarah even before the reward was offered. A fascinating case. A footnote to the story is that some time after Graham had been transported, his brother spotted Francis Boustead in a local pub some time later and significantly assaulted him leading to his own conviction for assault.

Sadly though you are also right that I remain stuck any record of the marriage I seek. 

[robbiesmum]

Yes, I did some research on the Graham family involved some years ago, I think William Graham had the sympathy of the court, being a good looking young man (and attacking gamekeepers was a fairly common occurrence as well). But the Grahams were related to a few families in the area, so living in Ainstable after the trial must have been hard for Francis Boustead.
He and his wife appeared to have stayed together, and it is quite possible they had had an irregular marriage in Scotland, but the marriage registers from the Gretna "priests" don't have much information on, so its probably not worth the time spent trying to find it.
I've researched several familes who claimed to be married when they weren't, one had a spouse in an asylum: one had a violent husband and ran away with a lover and changed her name, and the other had a husband who was already married to someone else but separated. So claiming to be married when you are not is not always because you don't want to, you might not legally be able to get married again.
an interesting family to research though!

[This Boy]

Robbiesmum,

Thank you. I am beginning to think that they probably didn’t actually marry as you suggest. I will perhaps go to the family history centre and look through the actual written parish registers for Ainstable for the most likely years before accepting defeat.

[This Boy]

https://crimesofthecenturies.com/index.php/2020/07/19/the-staffield-murder-of-1856/

An interesting summary of the murder trial in which Francis Boustead got himself involved.