Close DNA match with no (known) family connection !!

[Cimota]

So to be clear:

- Cousins isn't possible due to the DNA match results (& I guess there would be obvious family links).

- Aunt / Uncle is possible but only if they were adopted (which isn't the case and its unlikely that their mum would have been looking to adopt while still in her teens).

- Which only leaves half sibling??

[Skaife]

Hi you mention in one of your posts about the knowledge of pregnancy dates in the 1960s not being as accurate as today. If you put this thought together with Biggles50 comment  about the freedom that holidays could bring and your spouse suggestion about Butlins & Blackpool it could be that the father never knew about a pregnancy. Maybe holiday photographs might give you & your DNA match more clues.

[TreeDigger]

It appears that you chaps are strongly leaning towards a half sibling relationship on my paternal side but can I ask are other relationships still possible?

Sure, but seeing your similar age, the 'generational distance' to the mutual cousin matches, plus the whopping amount of cM shared by both you & your full sibling with your new relative, it's statistically highly unlikely you're anything other than half-siblings.

In these cases applying Occam's razor - using the simplest theory to explain a phenomenon - is nearly always your best bet. Only when you've exhausted all possible avenues should you look for an alternative explanation.

With regard to the Shared cM Tool, with any match that's (near) your age you should always first start from the 'Self' position in the accompanying hypothetical family tree and look at the possible familial links on the horizontal level. A generation up or down only applies when there is a significant age gap between known siblings, usually resulting from 2nd or even 3rd marriages, or (unknown) children born long before an actual marriage.

I entered your results in a relationship prediction tool on dna-sci.com, which gives the probability for 'grandparent/grandchild' as 55.1%, for 'half sibling' 44.7% and 'niece/nephew' a mere 0.2%. The cM Explainer Tool on MyHeritage doesn't even bother with any other relationships. Entering both your ages and the amount of shared cM produces a single prediction: half siblings.

I do (literally) understand your doubts, questions and possible reaction of outright denial, as well as the emotional upheaval. It's no small matter being confronted with an unknown close relative. But after having done two tests with similar results that are also confirmed by your full sibling's results, I'd say further tests are unnecessary.

Maybe the community can help you via private messages with tracing your parents' movements. Or function as a sounding board. Obviously the impact on your new relative is much larger, but they now have two very close relatives to share emotions with.

In any case: good luck!

[TreeDigger]

Skaife's suggestion..

Maybe holiday photographs might give you & your DNA match more clues.

..is a good one. I'd like to add another one: have you exchanged photos of yourselves?

TD

[Cimota]

Thanks everyone.

We are in contact via Facebook & plan to meet up in a couple of months.



My daughters are still disappointed that I don't have a bit of Italian or Spanish in me !!

[Ruskie]

Apologies if this has already been asked, and I missed it …. Was your matches mother married when she gave birth to your match? If not, presumably your match must have been illegitimate, and if so, does her birth cerificate give a father’s name?

If your father has any living siblings who would be willing to take a DNA test, their results shoild give you more confirmation if you need it.

[Spelk]

As well as the holiday theory they might have come together due to one of them being at university. If that is ruled out then how about National Service which was still happening at that time I believe.

Edit - National Service ended at the end of 1960 so probably not relevant.

[scotmum]

there are quite a few shared matches but I can only identify a few.

Whilst continuing to check for potential places/timescales their paths may have crossed (eg holidays/summer jobs etc), and photos of respective family members (in case of any obvious likenesses), it would also be worth spending some time on the shared matches you have not as yet been able to identify, even if it means attempting to draw up some basic trees for same, as sometimes this can lead to further avenues you might not otherwise have considered and even help you make a breakthrough.

I did ask at a recent large family "gathering" if anyone had any clues about my dads movements around that time without success - certainly no family rumours that anyone was aware of.

Consider if a bit more digging on a more personal level, might be more productive. Large gatherings might cause some people to think twice before saying anything. Sometimes it is the most fleeting of seemingly irrelevant comment/s that hold the key. That's why also having pulled together as much detail on shared matches can be especially beneficial. The more dots you have, the potential for a better picture when you join them.

[Gadget]

As an aside, my sister's daughter and I share 1846 cMs.

She is definitely my niece and not a half sib.

Painter ( https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4 )   gives  this for your  1887cM

100%
Grandparent  Aunt / Uncle     Half Sibling    Niece / Nephew  Grandchild