Author Topic: 'Put away?'  (Read 1344 times)

Offline zetlander

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'Put away?'
« on: Saturday 30 March 24 21:05 GMT (UK) »
In the 1980's I had close links with a large hospital for patients (app. 100) who had a severe disability - both mental and physical. These patients came from all over England.
In the five years I was there I can recall only about four patients having occasional visits from relatives.
I wonder how many were 'put away' and abandoned by their relatives - how many had relatives that didn't even know they existed.

Offline BillyF

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #1 on: Saturday 30 March 24 22:38 GMT (UK) »
It was about the same time that I worked in a  home for children, aged no more than 7, who also had a mental or physical incapacity, usually both.

 The only visitors they had were social workers.

It was rewarding looking after them; I only left because we moved house.


Online BumbleB

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #2 on: Saturday 30 March 24 22:39 GMT (UK) »
Sorry, but what an horrendous topic!   :-X :-X  You should be ashamed!
Transcriptions and NBI are merely finding aids.  They are NOT a substitute for original record entries.
Remember - "They'll be found when they want to be found" !!!
If you don't ask the question, you won't get an answer.
He/she who never made a mistake, never made anything.
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Online Erato

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #3 on: Saturday 30 March 24 22:56 GMT (UK) »
Ashamed?  Why?  Do you think such people should be ignored, hidden, never spoken or written about?  Unfit to be mentioned on RootsChat?  They are members of our collective family tree and should be recognized as such.
Wiltshire:  Banks, Taylor
Somerset:  Duddridge, Richards, Barnard, Pillinger
Gloucestershire:  Barnard, Marsh, Crossman
Bristol:  Banks, Duddridge, Barnard
Down:  Ennis, McGee
Wicklow:  Chapman, Pepper
Wigtownshire:  Logan, Conning
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Offline zetlander

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #4 on: Sunday 31 March 24 00:20 GMT (UK) »
Ashamed?  Why?  Do you think such people should be ignored, hidden, never spoken or written about?  Unfit to be mentioned on RootsChat?  They are members of our collective family tree and should be recognized as such.

Totally agree Erato.
We shouldn't be able to pick and choose who we include in our Family Trees.
During my time at the Hospital six patients died - each one was buried in the local cemetery in a communal grave reserved for this hospital.  No family member came to the funerals and there was no effort made to have them buried in their family plot.
 

Offline annmck

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #5 on: Sunday 31 March 24 06:53 BST (UK) »
Hi Bumble B

What was it about the topic that offended you, can you say?

Maybe I missed something, but didn’t the remarks of zetlander, Billy F and Erato express great  compassion for individuals who had to endure total loss of family connection?

Isn’t that kind of suffering deserving of compassionate discussion?

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Online BumbleB

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #6 on: Sunday 31 March 24 08:38 BST (UK) »
Apologies - my thoughts are that the "putting away" of these people is terrible.   :-X
Transcriptions and NBI are merely finding aids.  They are NOT a substitute for original record entries.
Remember - "They'll be found when they want to be found" !!!
If you don't ask the question, you won't get an answer.
He/she who never made a mistake, never made anything.
Archbell - anywhere, any date
Kendall - WRY
Milner - WRY
Appleyard - WRY

Offline River Tyne Lass

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #7 on: Sunday 31 March 24 09:16 BST (UK) »
Personally, I think this is a great topic, which gives much food for thought.  Definitely a topic deserving of reflection and compassionate discussion.
I do think though that this might be an emotive and sadly, even a painful one for some people.  Especially, if there may have been direct experience of such situations.
No doubt it would have been very painful for relatives, to have someone in their family 'put away'.  I think perhaps the only way people might have been able to cope might have been to convince themselves that things were hopeless and that this was for the best to sever all connection.  It might be painful now for some people to consider this might not have been the only solution after all when they had been sold that it was.

It might also be very painful if someone may have been put away themselves and felt the pain of family and society rejection.  The criteria historically seems to have been quite diverse.

In my growing up years, I knew and met an in law of my sister who had be been 'put away' after an abusive marriage led to a breakdown and she spent the rest of her life in the asylum/hospital.  She was someone I will never forget.  It was very sad as I think that if such a thing happened today with the right treatment and support now available she may well have got her life back.
I do know that some branches of her descendants were lied to and given to understand that she had died as a young woman when in fact she lived to her eighties.
Those who started the lie may have thought they were doing it for the best, I suppose. 
But to me I think the truth should be known,  she is long dead and the truth of her life deserves remembering and recording not the airbrushed version.  I think she deserves that.

To add, I have read that people could be put away for socially objectionable reasons such as being an unmarried Mother or in some places and times, even 'excessive reading' - I could have been put away for that alone.   ::)

I think this subject should not be brushed under the carpet.  This is nothing to be ashamed of.  We can learn from the past. 

I once read about a well known man in the media who had a child with Downs Syndrome.  Apparently when the child was born this man's Father cried for a week and thereafter had nothing to do with his Grandchild.  I do not think this man was heartless.  I rather think that perhaps, a man of his times, he imagined a hopeless situation and he was at a loss about knowing how to cope.  If only, he had lived in these times and could have had access to a more positive outlook such as shown on the below site.

https://www.worlddownsyndromeday.org/end-the-stereotypes





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Offline Jo6100

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Re: 'Put away?'
« Reply #8 on: Sunday 31 March 24 10:05 BST (UK) »
It is awfully sad when you find a poor soul like this when researching.
I recall from nurse training back in the early 1980s visiting a local hospital for children and adults with learning difficulties, now long closed. I was quite shocked although it seemed a happy place.

My great uncle , Percy, was sent to a Darenth school for mentally defective children in 1904, aged 8.  Later he was sent to the Fountain asylum- in 1911 he is recorded as a congenital imbecile of unknown cause.  I can find little more. His mother was the informant of his death at 21 in 1917 ( his father, having joined up,) so I hope there was contact. My mother was the source of much of the information about my dad’s side as he died a long time before I started family history research and she said my dad had a cousin who had been put away (possibly with epilepsy) who came to stay sometimes for a holiday. I like to think this is a little confused and it was actually Percy visiting with his family including my grandfather, his brother