How likely is this?...

[Miriam]

I found my Great Great Grandfather James Donisthorpe in 1901 census with his wife and 3 young children. It says the oldest of which (Sidney Donisthorpe) was 7 in 1901 so he must have been born about 1894. The other two children were 3 and 1 in 1901.

Anyway, his wife is listed as Sarah A. and I found a marriage between a James Isaac Donisthorpe and a Sarah Ann Needham in December 1896 (in the right area). I presume that's them because there are barely any James Donisthorpe's about at that time.
That would mean their eldest son would have been about 2 when they got married, wouldn't that be just a massive no-no at the time? I'd like to hear your views anyway, it just seems a bit unusual!

[lindagene]

It seems to me that the more I hear from fellow researchers the more I realise that this sort of thing happened   My mother says that it cost money to get married, and so if money was short, they just ignored the ceremony until they could afford it.  My better halfs grandparents had two children before they married.    Lindy

[Miriam]

Aah I see. Well that's good anyway, it seems likely! They weren't enormously well off as far as I can tell.

There seems to be two seperate groups of Donisthorpe's in Leicester as far back as I can trace... One half of them have very good jobs, they have servants, all of that. The other half (my half!) are doing far more average jobs such as iron moulding, frame knitting, weaving, shoe making and such.
They seem so seperate class-wise, yet it's an unusual surname, they're all from the same area, all buried in the same places, have similar first names... It's a bit odd.

[lindagene]

Have you considered a family falling out?  not uncommon even in these days,  maybe the eldest son was left all the readys and the younger had to go out and earn his living the hard way.
My fathers family split in two at the death of an aged relative over the issue of a corner cupboard.

Strange things people
Lindy

[suey]

Not un-common my Great Grandma did not marry until 1884. She appears in the 1881 census as unmarried, with her is her daughter aged 2 and the fellow she eventually married  

Another ancestor did'nt make to the alter until her first son was 14 months old and my Grandma, mother of 8, first son born 1901 seems never to have made the journey up the aisle at all  

Suey

[Miriam]

Have you considered a family falling out?  not uncommon even in these days,  maybe the eldest son was left all the readys and the younger had to go out and earn his living the hard way.
My fathers family split in two at the death of an aged relative over the issue of a corner cupboard.

Strange things people
Lindy

Yeah I suppose it's possible... It only takes one persons lack of cash to have repercussions all the way down the line. There's stuff on ancestral files and pedigree resource files on familysearch.org with Donisthorpes that aren't yet linked with mine but are from the same area that go right the way back to about the year 1200! I don't really trust them, getting back that far would be so unusual... But it would be nice if I could link my lot up!

[Kazza]

Hi there,

Missing marriages are a phenomenon Rootschatters seem to be discovering more frequently than I had thought would be likely in the Victorian era.  Just one of the discussions we have had:

http://www.rootschat.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=4023.0

It seems to me that the Victorians were more concerned with appearances than fact.  And for the working classes appearances were a luxury not all could afford.

Kazza.