The House where my Mum was born

[Lloydy]

Hello everyone

I would appreciate your thoughts on this please:

The house that my Mum was born in (and her 9 siblings) still stands today, and over the past 6 months or so I have driven past it several times wondering how it looks inside today.

My question is:  Would it be rude to just literally knock on the door, explain about my Mum, and ask if it would be ok to look around

OR

Should I perhaps write a letter enclosing some family history details asking if would be possible for me to visit the house and, maybe, take some photographs.


Many thanks

p.s.  The last time I was inside the house, when my Nan still lived there, would have been approximately 25 years ago.

[trish251]

I would certainly knock on the door & explain who I was - but probably would wait to be asked to "look around inside". I did something similar - took a camera with me & asked if I could take a photo of the outside of the house. I was invited in and we had a lovely 30 min discussion of the history of the house.

Trish

[sallysmum]

Glad you raised this as I have been wondering about the same.  I think what Trish says is very prudent and is probably the way to go.  To ask outright 'can I come inside' may seem very forward and the present occupants may act rather defensive and suspicious of your motives.
Sallysmum

[KathMc]

My mom went to her high school reunion a few years ago. She drove by the house she was born in and lived with four generations of her family (and her mother and two aunts lived in most of their lives) and didn't knock on the door. Some of her classmates knocked and were allowed in and my mom regretted that she didn't. So do it. The worst thing is they would say no.

Kath

[Cas (stallc)]

Hi Lloydy,

Possibly knocking innocently on the door at a time you think maybe convienent, and asking for a pic of the outside, explaining a little of why, may leave an opening for you to be invited inside or a link to maybe? 

From this you will prob gauge if these people would be willing and that you are presenting no problems etc.

It would not be an intrusion or upfront on the outside, they may love to know your stories of the past and the house history.

If you don't do it you may always regret...

Good luck anyway with whatever you decide.

Cas 

[nanny jan]

Many years ago an elderly man knocked on my door and asked if he could take a photo of my house.  Ever curious I asked his reason; he explained that during WW2 the house had been used by the army and it was the local HQ. At that time it was a very small cottage in a rural area.

I agreed and when he had taken his shots I invited him for a cup of tea and he told me more about his time in the area; he even had a few old photos.  He came for a return visit with more photos and was taken to visit a much grander house about 30 miles away that had also been used by his group.

He stayed for lunch and on leaving left a little plaque he had made showing the various badges of the Army units involved with my little house.  On the back of the plaque he had added some typed info with dates etc.  I was so glad he had visited and I had the chance to learn about the history of my home.

When I moved I left the plaque in the house; I just hope it is still there.

So the new occupants of the house might be as interested as I was to learn about earlier occupants!

Let us know how you get on.

Nanny Jan

[Su]

Hi Jan,
Why not begin with a letter, introducing yourself and the reason why you are interested in the house.
Ask if they would mind you visiting to take some photographs etc.  In this day and age, anybody knocking on your door asking to look round is a bit dodgy, even with a respectable looking lady as yourself    It would also give the occupier time to think about it, and if agreeable to tidy up (that would take me a whole day)  .

I wrote to the owner of my gran and grandad's cottage when I was doing a family photo album for my Dad's 70th birthday (which incidentally started the whole research business off).  The owner was a very nice lady who wrote back inviting me to go and visit.

If you don't get a reply, then that would save any embarrassment all round.  But I think a nice little letter might do the trick.

Lots of Love
Su xxx

[lizdb]

I'd go with Trish on this.

Knock on the door, and ask if they would mind if you took a photo of the outside of their house, explaining your family links with it.

They can either say 'Go away yes they do mind', in which case you could still take a picture of the outside as you dont actually need their permission (but go on another occasion and hide behind a tree), but you know any thought of looking inside is out of the question

OR:
They could say "no we dont mind, full stop" In which case you could take the photo of the outside, and maybe follow it up with a friendly letter enclosong a copy of the photo for their interest and giving them a bit more info on the house's history, leaving it open for them to get back to you 'if they'd like to know more...' thus hopefully stirring up an interst

OR:
They may be really interested, let you take your piccy of the outside, and invite you in either there and then or at a later date if they are busy, so you can see more!

Let any mention of you going inside come from them, though.

All the best

[teap78]

Well Lloydy Did you go and ask?

 I took a deep breath today and knocked on the door of a house that a couple of generations of my mums side of the family lived at and were born in    I must say i think i went about it the wrong way this wee old woman answers the door and me and my big mouth says hi would you mind if i took a photo of the outside of your house  and of she goes nooooooooooo noooooooooo nooooooo, So I put the camera away took out the birth certs and gran and grandas marriage cert and explained what i was doing she then said ohhhhhh ok love go ahead i wish you had of waited until i got my curtains washed  (she was born in 1929) So i got my photos and learned a lesson to explain myself first 
next on the agenda was one street away where gran and granda lived when they married in 1930 and my mum and all her siblings were born there, that house was in the family from 1930 until my uncle Peters death in 1988. I explained to the man who called his wife and they said it was no bother and to work away. 

Colette