Don't people realise how much it hurts

[cati]

I have found my late (and much beloved) aunt on several online trees:  as she had no children and I am an only child, I don't know why she is on anyone else's tree - she only had two cousins and neither of them are interested in family history.  I've contacted the tree owners and asked - very politely - what their relationship is to her, and had no replies at all.

I agree with Rishile - it can be very hurtful.

[tedscout]

Hi Rishile,

When I was a novice I put my family tree on Ancestry. It is still there, but a lot of the personal stuff isn't - why?

Because someone took my grandparents photos (that I'd taken so they didn't find them anywhere else) and put them on as their own relatives. I thought maybe we were related but we are not.

I was devistated for weeks. I wanted to take my tree off Ancestry - I had lots of support from my family history friends and so the tree is still there, but I now no longer put anything personal on it.

It is dates and names and that is it.

On the positive side I have found many distant relatives because they have found my tree.

Last month I met 3 of those family tree cousins at my 3xgreat grandfathers grave. (Yes it was arranged).

I now believe that the good things about Ancestry outweigh the bad. Just don't put anything personal on there that no one else knows but you.

Take care hugs from Ted

[aghadowey]

This seems to be a common problem with online family trees and the subject has come up many times before. My great-grandfather (with wife and children) is listed as female on one tree and on another my grandfather's birthdate is about 25 years too early although correct parents are listed 
Possibly the biggest shock I had was finding my uncle on Facebook complete with his photograph- since he was born in 1869 and died in 1954 I didn't think he had opened an account . Turns out a cousin had done this as uncle was quite famous and she wanted to find others intereted in his acheivements.

[Nick29]

Unfortunately Ancestry make it all too easy for people to steal photos from other people's trees, although if you complain loudly enough they will force people to remove them.

[flipflops]

I don't really mind when someone copies photos and records from my tree - what DOES upset me though is when they go back a few years and then DEVIATE and change one of my ancestors for someone quite different

Just wish i knew why they do it   If the rest of my tree and my photos were 'good enough' why make a conflict?

Bah!!! Humbug!!!

[BashLad]

I don't really mind when someone copies photos and records from my tree - what DOES upset me though is when they go back a few years and then DEVIATE and change one of my ancestors for someone quite different

Just wish i knew why they do it   If the rest of my tree and my photos were 'good enough' why make a conflict?

Bah!!! Humbug!!!

Perhaps they know something you don't.

I have to laugh at how possessive some people seem to get over the dead.

Damn-it, that's my ancestor (and the ancestor of my 12 cousins, 50 odd second cousins, only god knows how many third and fourth cousins and likely thousands of fifth cousins. But damn it they're mine!

[noseyoap]

I never publish my tree but will pass on any information if anyone gets in touch. I was appalled to find one of my dads brothers on a tree with a partner and child attached followed by his wife. I have known this couple all my life and they never had any children. I questioned my dads only brother that is alive and he was insistant that he never had any children to anyone - this can cause an awful lot of trouble and heartbreak.

[Michelle79]

I have to laugh at how possessive some people seem to get over the dead.

I get possesive as it's the only thing I have left of my mum and her side of the family, the knowledge of where she came from.....where i come from.

Rishile is right when she says it hurts when people use details that you have put out there without checking them and making sure that there is a genuin connection.

Personally I think that people who do that arent really interested in the facts or the truth but just how far back they can go.  At the moment I'm having problems getting past my g grandad and I've seen information from someone else's tree that may work but I won't use it until I'm 100% confident it's correct.

Bit of a pain really as I really want to move onto the next generation but can't 

Apologies for rambling, not long home and needed a stiff drink to get over the manic crowds and queues   


Have a merry Christmas all.

Michelle

[BashLad]

I have to laugh at how possessive some people seem to get over the dead.

I get possesive as it's the only thing I have left of my mum and her side of the family, the knowledge of where she came from.....where i come from.

Rishile is right when she says it hurts when people use details that you have put out there without checking them and making sure that there is a genuin connection.

Personally I think that people who do that arent really interested in the facts or the truth but just how far back they can go.  At the moment I'm having problems getting past my g grandad and I've seen information from someone else's tree that may work but I won't use it until I'm 100% confident it's correct.

Bit of a pain really as I really want to move onto the next generation but can't 

Apologies for rambling, not long home and needed a stiff drink to get over the manic crowds and queues   

Have a merry Christmas all.

Michelle

People who copy info from trees without checking are ignorant - but the world is full of ignorant people; it's nothing new. For instance there are currently more incorrect trees than correct trees with two of my great-grandparents on them on ancestry right now.

But getting possessive is absurd. By my reckoning two of my great-grandparents have 43 descendants - 40 of which are still around. Are they still my and only my great-grandparents? My great-grandparents between them have potentially c160 descendants. Expecting exacting standards from everyone is a waste of time. Should I be presonally offended by someone else's uselessness? hah. The GRO index misspells my grandma's maiden name. My granddad's uncles death index has one date, his baptism a second and birth certificate a third, 11/12/13, Should I be offended? My ancestors have given barefaced lies to the census enumerators, should I be offended? Some of my cousins are a bit dim and don't check details, should I be offended? 

Frankly if you're so thin skinned I don't know why any of you have put anything out there in the first place.

As for 100% confidence in anything - good luck with that. Perhaps I'm being a bit too cynical but that's just the way it is.