Reasons why your relatives don't help you with your research

[Mart 'n' Al]

My cousin and I have done a lot of research in to our ancestry of the last 100 years, and have found that some relatives are less forthcoming with their help. I wondered if anyone else has any experience of this. I really don't think they have anything to hide, but it often seems as if they have.

What about dark secrets that turn out to be less than astonishing?

Martin

[Marmalady]

When I first started researching my husband's family tree, my mother-in-law was reluctant to tell me anything about her immediate forebears as "it was no-one's businesses but their own"

But once I had got past the people she would have known / heard spoken of -- she was fascinated by what I was able to find out about who they were, where they lived, what they did etc etc

[Regorian]

First hurdle is a lot of families only recognise back to grandparents as family. I have a cousin, our grandfathers were brothers. He basically adheres to what I said, he doesn't want to know about our Welsh roots which negates my researches pre 1800 as far as he is concerned, and he's not the only one.

Luckily, many many more people are different and giving, otherwise Rootschat wouldn't work.

[Viktoria]

This covers two topics really for me.
Attended a funeral in Shropshire.
A group of people were pointed out to me and they were grandchildren of the I first  couple I lived with when evacuated.
They had no children ,in their forties,but after a short while of looking after me a baby was on the way.
The baby was ,when adult not interested at all in the family farm and became a tax inspector,met a girl from Wolverhampton and married and lived there.
I made myself known as the daughter of their father’s first cousin .
Explained it all etc and one said “ Perhaps you could help with identifying who the people are in a very old photograph album” ,my mouth began to
water as you can imagine.
They said they would post it to me but it was large seemingly.
I suggested we meet somewhere convenient for them and that we could go through it together.Yes, they would arrange that.
Their mother ( from W/ton ) was not interested in her Shropshire in laws,her
husband ( the baby  born after his parents cared for me) was already dead.
It never happened,I tried so hard as what they described was meaningful to me as their great grandma and my grandma were sisters.
Nothing,such miserable excuses,I  think their mother had put the kibosh on it all.
I do wonder if I had let them post it what would have happened.
I shared everything I had with them but nothing back.
In the end I thought ,just let it go.
Any of you who remember the topic about murder etc in our family histories
may remember the young woman shot by her father ,manslaughter the verdict,dead new born baby etc, Well there was reputedly a photograph of her in there ,no other exists so I was truly disappointed.
No accounting for folk is there ?
Viktoria.

[SwissGill]

I think probably that the main reason, especially in the US, is that the family on my mother's side were from Baden-Württemberg.

One reason could be that the family names Pfisterer-Brück were altered to Fisher and Briggs. My great-grandmother's younger brother worked one year for pork butcher relative in England and was known as Frederick Briggs when he emigrated.

A number of Americans seem to wish to "hide" their German forefathers or maybe it is that they are ignorant of it.

[coombs]

Yes, could be they know the family has some immigrant ancestry and they are ashamed as they want all English. I am pleased to have Huguenot and Scottish ancestors in my blood though. And possibly Welsh as I have Jones in Oxfordshire and Roberts in London.

When they say "it was all a long time ago" makes me more determined to find the key to Pandora's box.

[groom]

I think probably that the main reason, especially in the US, is that the family on my mother's side were from Baden-Württemberg.

My father always said that his father's family originated from Holland, but I had my doubts. I discovered that they also came from Baden- Württemberg. I found my great grandfather's application for emigration to the UK and found both him and my great grandmother on censuses stating where they came from. My father was born in 1923 and my great grandparents (his grandparents) died in 1926 and 1927, so perhaps he didn't remember them. I presume the reluctance to admit the German connection was due to WW1 and WW2.

I have now made contact with a relation of my great grandmother who still lives in Germany, and he was able to give me quite a bit of information.

[louisa maud]

When I have been asked about the family tree I notice relatives only want  any scandals or to be related to nobility , my husbands family were supposed to be related to a well respected physicist way back, well they had money, lived in a completely different part of England whereas my husbands family were very poor and came for South London, there is no way they are related, and they are not as I have done their complete tree,  so a glazed look comes over their faces and I just stop as I know they don't want any more info,  got nothing to crow about, you get to learn the ones who are interested

I have however found some really nice distant cousins  from my mother's side of the family, so don't give up because people are not interested, do it for your own interest

Happy Hunting

Louisa Maud

[Kiltpin]

In my experience, the reason people don't respond is laziness. I have sent all mine countless easy-fill forms, on paper and on line. Nothing comes back!   

But they do visit the tree on Ancestry and do comment on new finds, but do not contribute themselves. 

Regards 

Chas