Author Topic: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..  (Read 2799 times)

Offline amandria

  • RootsChat Extra
  • **
  • Posts: 32
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« on: Saturday 11 April 20 12:07 BST (UK) »
Each day I have two melt downs.. after a good cry I always feel much better.. I worry so much about my older kids and grand kids.. Are they taking this seriously ? are they social distancing themselves... My oldest daughter was working at James Cook hospital a few weeks ago.. And my heart was in my mouth.. as she has two small toddlers. My youngest son is still with me and is 16 and autistic.. This is effecting him so bad, so when I have my mini breakdowns/ melt downs or what ever you call it .. I cry in private, I know he will be devastated to see me cry and get upset.. so I need to be strong. I have a journal in which I write down all my thoughts every odd day or so.. I am trying to teach my self how to knit and I love music.. Music gets me through this more than anything... And I am lucky to have a garden.. I am so sorry for those who do not have a garden And I am so sorry to those who are really really struggling with this... it is heartbreaking for all. but we have to find things which we love doing and also to find new things to learn and to distract our minds... I am going to get back on track with my family history.  And I think its so good to be able to come on here and express ourselves and get things off our minds.. right now my heart is pounding out of my chest.. My hubby has just came back from doing our shopping and bought crisps and chocolate for this Easter weekend and my eyes lit up hahaha ohhh I cant wait to get stuck into that lot.. I am also worried about putting on loads of weight and getting unhealthy... its said that we really need to take care of our bodies and eat healthy because if any of us get this dreaded corona.. we need to be strong to fight it off.... The nasty evil bleeding THING... I really hope that it dies out soon....LETS JUST KICK ITS ARSE! some one please tell me it will die soon.. ?flaming heck what a mess the world is in right now... but I send all my love to each and every one of you, and your families... stay as safe as you can and dont be worried about coming on here and poring your heart out... we are all allowed to share how we feel at this time... I am so grateful for this lovely group,   its something else to keep us all going isn't it.  I am going now cuz I have lots of bags of crisps and chocolate bars to wipe clean with antibacterial wipes. 

Offline IgorStrav

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 4,733
  • Arthur Pay 1915-2002 "handsome bu**er"
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #1 on: Saturday 11 April 20 13:29 BST (UK) »
Let me be the first to send LOADS OF HUGS RIGHT BACK AT YOU  :D :D :D :D :D

Pay, Kent. 
Barham, Kent. 
Cork(e), Kent. 
Cooley, Kent.
Barwell, Rutland/Northants/Greenwich.
Cotterill, Derbys.
Van Steenhoven/Steenhoven/Hoven, Nord Brabant/Belgium/East London.
Kesneer Belgium/East London
Burton, East London.
Barlow, East London
Wayling, East London
Wade, Greenwich/Brightlingsea, Essex.
Thorpe, Brightlingsea, Essex

Offline Rena

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,814
  • Crown Copyright: www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #2 on: Saturday 11 April 20 13:39 BST (UK) »
I hope you find a solution soon.  Your posting set me thinking - Why I used to get stressed.

I was stressed from 1967 through 1969 but it wasn't until we moved out of our fifth floor apartment in Holland that I suddenly felt calm and it was then that I realised how tightly wound up I had been.  The reason for that was we had two small tots and I'd heard stories of other tots falling from on high down to the ground.

A few years passed by and we'd decorated our house in England with the latest vibrant colour scheme.   The year we changed that colour scheme to the latest very calming Wedgewood blues was the year I discovered how much colours can influence  our moods.

 
Aberdeen: Findlay-Shirras,McCarthy<br />MidLothian: Mason,Telford,Darling,Cruikshanks,Bennett,Sime, Bell<br />Lanarks:Crum, Brown, MacKenzie,Cameron, Glen, Millar
Ross, Urray:Mackenzie<br />Moray: Findlay; Marshall/Marischell<br />Perthshire: Brown Ferguson<br />Wales: McCarthy, Thomas<br />England: Almond, Askin, Dodson, Harrison, Maw, McCarthy, Munford, Pye, Shearing, Smith, Smythe, Speight, Strike, Wallis/Wallace, Ward, Wells<br />Germany: Flamme,Ehlers, Bielstein, Germer, Mohlm, Reupke


Offline Roobarb

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,224
  • Looking for that elusive branch!
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #3 on: Saturday 11 April 20 20:10 BST (UK) »
Amandria, are you reading or watching the news a lot? If so, stop!! I drove myself into such a state at the very beginning of this, before the lockdown, I was reading the news throughout the day and watching the TV broadcasts.
I decided to only read the news once a day, that's after I've had a couple of cups of tea in the morning and psyched myself up to it. After that I ignore it, everything will go on whether I read about it that day or not. The only time I deviated from that was when I saw that the Prime Minister was to make an announcement, which I watched. That was when he announced that there was to be a lockdown.  I wished I hadn't watched it, I couldn't believe what our country and the whole world was coming to, I sat and cried for a couple of hours. That didn't help me at all, please cut down on your news consumption if it's high. Consume the chocolate instead!

I have a close friend whose daughter is a nurse at James Cook hospital, they're very matter of fact about it while I'm in awe! I'm sure that everyone appreciated your daughter's work there.

I've had a lot of support from other Rootschatters, I was feeling very down yesterday and after I'd voiced that there were kind words to help me. I hope you feel better after the chocolate, it's definitely a cure for all ills!  :D

Take care
Bell, Salter, Street - Devon, Middlesbrough.
Lickess- North Yorkshire, Middlesbrough.
Etherington - North Yorks and Durham.
Barker- North Yorks
Crooks- Durham
Forster- North Yorks/Durham
Newsam, Pattison, Proud - North Yorks.
Timothy, Griffiths, Jones - South Wales

Offline Crumblie

  • RootsChat Senior
  • ****
  • Posts: 490
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #4 on: Saturday 11 April 20 20:15 BST (UK) »
I agree Roobarb, right from the beginning I chose to ignore a lot of the news. In my opinion both the TV and the newspapers have gone totally over the top with their reporting. When people are confined to barracks they do not want a constant avalanche of bad news and scaremongering.

Offline ThrelfallYorky

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,252
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #5 on: Sunday 12 April 20 17:35 BST (UK) »
The news can be very depressing, especially if you watch a late evening one, prior to heading for bed. There's nothing we can say that will lift the feeling from you, but I suspect that simply you are feeling what many others are, but you are honestly admitting it.
I used to say to people who I know who were stressed that if worrying would help, I'd sit down right by them and worry, too - but often talking worries through with a friend, or, if you can, member of family, will help you a little to clarify exactly what you worry about, and if there is indeed anything within your power to do about it. Telling of your worries here is a start - simply getting them communicated can help the calming process. You are not alone... but it can feel that way.
Avoiding the news may not help, but try to keep it in its place. Information should not be the same as stress and torture.
Best wishes to you.
Threlfall (Southport), Isherwood (lancs & Canada), Newbould + Topliss(Derby), Keating & Cummins (Ireland + lancs), Fisher, Strong& Casson (all Cumberland) & Downie & Bowie, Linlithgow area Scotland . Also interested in Leigh& Burrows,(Lancashire) Griffiths (Shropshire & lancs), Leaver (Lancs/Yorks) & Anderson(Cumberland and very elusive)

Offline Lisajb

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #6 on: Monday 13 April 20 13:27 BST (UK) »
Dear Amandria

You are not alone, I am struggling too.

I have been let off work as I am a type 1 diabetic with slightly reduced kidney function. My employers wanted us to work on a week in, week out basis. Except they wanted me to share someone else’s computer, I said that wasn’t ok, did they have other options for me, and was told to stay home until advised.

I don’t actually like the job too much, but now I am worried that they will decide that they don’t need me, and give me the push. Or, if they don’t, I will be so hated when I do go back, for trying to protect myself, that it will be intolerable to work there (it was sometimes anyway.)

My children have both left home, one lives 5 minutes away so we can see him, observing appropriate distancing. My daughter lives 2 hours drive away, and I miss her so much.

I am terrified of catching this bug. With my medical conditions I expect that I would not survive it.  My husband drags me out for our government approved exercise, but then I worry I will somehow catch covid19 from merely breathing.

I have things to do but cannot settle to any of it for more than 10 minutes.

We’re lucky enough to have an apartment in Cyprus. We had two flights booked, May and September. May will probably not take place, all easyjet want to offer me is change the flight, or a voucher. And that will be more stress from work - “you’ve had weeks off, and now you want a holiday as well?”
Mullingar, Westmeath Ireland: Gilligan/Wall/Meagher/Maher/Gray/O'Hara/Corroon (various spellings)
Bristol: Woodman/James/Derrick
Bristol/Somerset: Saunders/Wilmot
Gloucestershire:Woodman/Mathews/Tandy/Stinchcombe/Marten/Thompson
Wiltshire: Mathews
Carmarthen: Thomas, Lewis
Australia: Mary Lewis, transportee, married Henry Smith, what happened to her?

Offline suey

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,615
  • The light is on but there's no-one at home!
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #7 on: Monday 13 April 20 20:10 BST (UK) »
Dear Amandria

You are not alone, I am struggling too.

I have been let off work as I am a type 1 diabetic with slightly reduced kidney function. My employers wanted us to work on a week in, week out basis. Except they wanted me to share someone else’s computer, I said that wasn’t ok, did they have other options for me, and was told to stay home until advised.

I don’t actually like the job too much, but now I am worried that they will decide that they don’t need me, and give me the push. Or, if they don’t, I will be so hated when I do go back, for trying to protect myself, that it will be intolerable to work there (it was sometimes anyway.)

My children have both left home, one lives 5 minutes away so we can see him, observing appropriate distancing. My daughter lives 2 hours drive away, and I miss her so much.

I am terrified of catching this bug. With my medical conditions I expect that I would not survive it.  My husband drags me out for our government approved exercise, but then I worry I will somehow catch covid19 from merely breathing.

I have things to do but cannot settle to any of it for more than 10 minutes.

We’re lucky enough to have an apartment in Cyprus. We had two flights booked, May and September. May will probably not take place, all easyjet want to offer me is change the flight, or a voucher. And that will be more stress from work - “you’ve had weeks off, and now you want a holiday as well?”

It sounds to me as though when this is finally over you need to find another job.  Unless that job is worth more to you than your life then stay at home!  No job is worth making yourself miserable over.

Someone once told me there’s no point in worrying over things you have no control over.  Easier said than done I know. 
Life for many many people won’t be the same after this, but we’ll all get through it somehow.
I still have the daily wobble, restless nights but hey another day done and please god another day closer to normality...whatever that is  :D



All census lookups are Crown Copyright from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
Sussex - Knapp. Nailard. Potten. Coleman. Pomfrey. Carter. Picknell
Greenwich/Woolwich. - Clowting. Davis. Kitts. Ferguson. Lowther. Carvalho. Pressman. Redknap. Argent.
Hertfordshire - Sturgeon. Bird. Rule. Claxton. Taylor. Braggins

Offline Roobarb

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,224
  • Looking for that elusive branch!
    • View Profile
Re: All in this together, some are coping, some are not..
« Reply #8 on: Monday 13 April 20 21:56 BST (UK) »

We’re lucky enough to have an apartment in Cyprus. We had two flights booked, May and September. May will probably not take place, all easyjet want to offer me is change the flight, or a voucher. And that will be more stress from work - “you’ve had weeks off, and now you want a holiday as well?”

Lisa, you are entitled to a refund for the flight once Easyjet have confirmed that the flight will not go ahead, don't let them fob you off with a voucher or change of flight. Martin Lewis, the money saving expert has answered questions on this regularly and he emphasizes that you are entitled to a refund. Here's his article:

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/2020/02/coronavirus-travel-help-and-your-rights/#vouchersnotrefunds

As for your job, I agree with Suey that you need to find another job. There may be reasons you feel you can't, maybe further to travel, but believe me it's not worth staying in a job that blights your life if you can possibly get out of it. I speak from bitter experience.

Good luck.
Bell, Salter, Street - Devon, Middlesbrough.
Lickess- North Yorkshire, Middlesbrough.
Etherington - North Yorks and Durham.
Barker- North Yorks
Crooks- Durham
Forster- North Yorks/Durham
Newsam, Pattison, Proud - North Yorks.
Timothy, Griffiths, Jones - South Wales