Opinions requested

[ms_canuck]

Hi...

I recently received a message asking if I was willing to chat about a shared ancestor.  The requester has the same surname as the ancestor, so I said yes that would be fine.  There was an open family tree with the surname, so I clicked to see what the person already had so as not to repeat information.  He had only 8 people, going back from the person he was asking about, and no birth/death dates for the actual person or their spouse.  I have considerably more than that in my tree.

The next day, he replied asking me to provide him with my information as "he couldn't see my tree" which is odd because it's not private.  But he had now changed his tree to Private.

Am I being taken for a mug here?  I feel like he is just wanting to pick my brains without having to do anything himself.  I thought he would have more info, as this ancestor emigrated to Australia and the person asking me lives in Melbourne!

I'm thinking that I may just give him some 'bare bones' info, and see what he comes back with in return.

Would appreciate hearing your thoughts / opinions on this type of request. 

Thanks all

Ms_C

[Milliepede]

Maybe he has more info but wants to confirm it before putting it on 

If your tree is open then direct him to it so he can see what you have without the need to have any personal discussion with you. 

 

[Kiltpin]

I think you are wise to be cautious. 

If you collaborated, you would both end up with all the same information, but it would be nice if the other party contributed as well. 

I would ask why their tree became private and would give nothing until it was open.   

It could be that they are very new to this and don't know the protocols. Then you are going to have to tell them. They won't get far by being greedy. 

Good luck 

Regards 

Chas

[Meelystar]

I would just offer to answer any specific questions he has. Obviously you have a lot on your tree and it wouldn’t be feasible to give him all that info.
That way the emphasis is on him to take the time to think about what he wants/needs to know that he cannot find himself.

[BumbleB]

I would just offer to answer any specific questions he has. Obviously you have a lot on your tree and it wouldn’t be feasible to give him all that info.
That way the emphasis is on him to take the time to think about what he wants/needs to know that he cannot find himself.

Exactly 

[ms_canuck]

Thanks to all for your responses.  Here are the messages we exchanged.  At first he is responding to 'something I published' and then 'I am unable to see any information'.

------------

AB Hi there, i was looking into my family tree and came across some information that was published by you. I was wondering if you would be open to a chat ?

Hi AB
Yes, definitely.  Information is a bit sketchy on the B*m family in Australia.  Would appreciate your input.

thanks
Ms_C

AB
I am unable to see what information you have so far. If you fill me in a little on what you currently have ill be more than happy to share any further information i have with you Elizabeth P*g and Joseph H*h seem to be be common in information i have been finding.


So I will proceed with caution... 

Cheers All...

Ms_C

[Rena]

I am not a paid up member of ancestry and I can't see any trees except my own.

I do have others taking copies of my photos which I don't mind, but I do mind that nobody (except for one person) leaves a message to say how they are connected to my tree.

[ms_canuck]

I am not a paid up member of ancestry and I can't see any trees except my own.

I do have others taking copies of my photos which I don't mind, but I do mind that nobody (except for one person) leaves a message to say how they are connected to my tree.

That's a good point, Rena!  I don't think anyone has ever left a comment on my tree either.  In fact, I messaged one person asking why they borrowed a photo, and how we are related and got no response (the photo was of my father, so that was probably a close cousin).

However, I have also been guilty of doing the same - so no leg to stand on!    In future, I will try to be more mindful.

Cheers
Ms_C

[Rena]

I am not a paid up member of ancestry and I can't see any trees except my own.

I do have others taking copies of my photos which I don't mind, but I do mind that nobody (except for one person) leaves a message to say how they are connected to my tree.

That's a good point, Rena!  I don't think anyone has ever left a comment on my tree either.  In fact, I messaged one person asking why they borrowed a photo, and how we are related and got no response (the photo was of my father, so that was probably a close cousin).

However, I have also been guilty of doing the same - so no leg to stand on!    In future, I will try to be more mindful.

Cheers
Ms_C

I forgot to mention that if I want to send a message to any of the people who took my photos I have to become a paid up member.