Conflicting Wedding and Registration, Cop

[Chaltis]

Before she died my mother told me she was a bridesmaid in 1916 at the wedding of her aunt Louisa Burden (b. abt 1878, Charlton Marshall) in the New Forest (NF). She described the NF cottage in Cadnam which has since proved accurate. However, I've just found the marriage between Louisa Burden and Robert James Lanham (b. 23 Aug 1890, Copythorne, HAM) was registered at the Midhurst centre (Sussex) in the first quarter of 1921. Louisa's sister Elizabeth was living in Petworth (Sussex) so the marriage registration is plausible.

I've never found Louisa's wedding in 1916 in the New Forest, but there are some signs she and her husband were Roman Catholics. Is it at all possible that the NF wedding took place, but wasn't registered at the time, and was only registered in 1921 in Sussex when Louisa went to see her sister? Is that disparity between wedding and registration centre allowed ? Might Louisa have had a church wedding in 1916 and a civil marriage in 1921. Or do I have to accept my mother simply misremembered ?

I've been doing family history research for 30 years and never come across this kind of puzzle. I'd be grateful if local researchers could help solve it.

[Dundee]

Robert served in the Royal Navy from Feb 1916 to the end of hostilities in 1919.  Did your mother mention that?

Debra 

[Chaltis]

Dundee,

No, that's news to me. But many thanks - I'll look that up.

[Chaltis]

Debra,

Thanks for the tip. He served 15 Feb 1916 to 2 May 1919 on various RN postings as a stoker.

[Little Nell]

Marriages are always registered in the registration district in which they took place and never years after the event.  While some registrations have not always made it to the GRO index for whatever reason, I can't think of any reason why a 'missed' marriage record would be inserted in the wrong year in a completely different registration district or how it would be permitted

If the couple were Catholics, there was no reason to have two ceremonies - at that date wedding ceremonies in non-Anglican places of worship were allowed.

Is it possible that your mother was a bridesmaid at a different relative's wedding in 1916 and had muddled it with Louisa's?

Louisa was born in 1876 (registered in Dec qtr) so she was quite a bit older than Robert.

Nell

[Chaltis]

Nell,

Thanks for confirmation of the rules on registration. She specifically remembered it as "Aunt Lou" and Louisa Burden is the only one it could be, and her recollection of the cottage was very accurate. I have concluded that my mother mis-remembered, and I think the best I can assume now is that she went to a gathering at the Cadnam cottage, and dressed for the occasion, but it wasn't a wedding. Louisa was 12 years older than Robert - is that a large gap ?

[Guy Etchells]

Before she died my mother told me she was a bridesmaid in 1916 at the wedding of her aunt Louisa Burden (b. abt 1878, Charlton Marshall) in the New Forest (NF). She described the NF cottage in Cadnam which has since proved accurate. However, I've just found the marriage between Louisa Burden and Robert James Lanham (b. 23 Aug 1890, Copythorne, HAM) was registered at the Midhurst centre (Sussex) in the first quarter of 1921. Louisa's sister Elizabeth was living in Petworth (Sussex) so the marriage registration is plausible.

I've never found Louisa's wedding in 1916 in the New Forest, but there are some signs she and her husband were Roman Catholics. Is it at all possible that the NF wedding took place, but wasn't registered at the time, and was only registered in 1921 in Sussex when Louisa went to see her sister? Is that disparity between wedding and registration centre allowed ? Might Louisa have had a church wedding in 1916 and a civil marriage in 1921. Or do I have to accept my mother simply misremembered ?

I've been doing family history research for 30 years and never come across this kind of puzzle. I'd be grateful if local researchers could help solve it.

The marriage is registered at the time of the wedding, the couple & witnesses etc. then sign the register.
Cheers
Guy

[lucyosb]

Hi
If I’m not too late replying to this thread I have a picture of their grave which is situated in copythorne church. I also have the family history for Robert. Just let me know