This is a long story, so please let me set out some details before stating my question.
John Lawton (JL) = Harriot Bates 4 Oct 1830 in Clayton West with High Hoyland, Yorkshire. They had three children, the most recent being Antonina baptised (as Antinanoh) 29 Apr 1835, d.o.b. given as 25 Mar 1835. The parents were named as John and Harriet; he was a coal miner.
On 8 Sep 1839 Ann Lawton and Henry Lawton were baptised in Clayton West, their d.o.bs being given as 22 Nov 1837 and 27 Jun 1839 respectively. They were identified as the illegitimate children of Harriet Lawton, spinster, with these marginalia against "spinster": "by mistake, should be widow". The marginalia are initialled by the curate but not dated.
In the 1841 census we find Harriet Lawton plus two of the three children from her marriage with John, plus Ann and Henry; the ages match up (given the 1841 conventions). Also in the household is Jameson Firth (JF). Later, Harriet Lawton = Jameson Firth on 10 Nov 1844 in Emley - with her residence given as Skelmanthorpe, close to Clayton West - and her marital status stated as widow.
All this sounds as though Harriet married JL and then, after John's death, married again, this time to JF. However, there are two problems.
The first is that I can't find a death or burial for JL during the relevant period.
The second is more curious. Harriet and JF had banns published several times in the 1830s but, as noted, weren't actually married until 1844. (In what follows, the records state that he was of the parish of Emley, and she was of the parish of High Hoyland - which we can take as All Saints, Clayton West with High Hoyland.) A note in the Emley parish records says the couple were scheduled to be married on 26 Mar 1837, following banns, but "never appeared"; banns were published in Clayton West on 17 Sep, 24 Sep and 1 Oct 1837; idem Emley 15, 22 and 29 Oct 1837; idem Emley 20 and 27 Oct, 3 Nov 1844 (by which time she too was "of this parish").
As I can't find JL's death, I wonder if he and Harriet split up in the mid-1830s (for what reason we'll never know, from his possible abandonment of the family - which I surmised in the subject line - to her relationship with JF). I wonder if Harriet and JF tried to marry in 1837 but weren't allowed to do so until 1844?
How long would a person have to wait following (let's say) the disappearance of a spouse, before being free to marry again? What other reason might there be for the delay of seven years before Harriet and JF could marry? (Recall that the 1841 census suggests they were living together during that time.)
Alternatively, would a person be unable to remarry failing evidence of their spouse's death, no matter how long it had been since the latter left the marriage? If that's the case, it should help me find JL's death; Harriet Lawton (as spinster this time, rather than widow) had another child, Ellen, baptised in Emley on 16 Jun 1844 - five months before Harriet = JF. This would mean that JL died during those five months, or at least that news reached Emley during that period. (I still can't find him, even so.)
Sorry to go into so much detail. It would be helpful even to know in general terms what the requirements were for remarriage in the case of spousal disappearance. If anyone could find JL's actual death or burial records - even more, if they could find whether he had any other children with someone else - that would be extraordinarily useful. Many thanks.