Unwelcome Visitor.

[rocala]

Some time back, I received a message on my Ancestry account from a man who thought we might be related. This was based on the fact that he had the same surname as my great-grandmother, nothing more than that. I replied that I did not know of any connection between us.

A week went by, and then he appeared on my doorstep. I was taken aback to say the least. I said that it was a very bad time and that if I found anything relevant I would get in touch. He does not even live in my city.

I found the experience rather disturbing, and most people that I have spoken to agree. One however said that "it's not as if I am some frail old lady" and suggeted that I might have been more friendly.

What do people think, has anybody else experienced anything like this?

[Familysearch]

My first reaction is how did he know where you live?

[rocala]

I can ony assume he traced it via the phone book.

[Ashtone]

I'm curious...how did he know your actual name, in order to find you in the phone book? Most people on Ancestry have user names.

[brigidmac]

That's quite a scarey experience
Definitely an imposition at the least

It's not hard to find out who tree owners really are if they have grandparents names
Marriages and locations can be found

A lot of us use our real names . But I don't like the idea of someone turning up on doorstep

[River Tyne Lass]

I think it is very inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour for a stranger just to turn up on someone's doorstep.
If they really wanted to meet you I think they ought to have tried to arrange a mutually convenient day and time at a public venue such as a library, cafe or pub etc.
I don't agree with the person who told you that you should have been more friendly.  It wasn't friendly of the person who just turned up.  Male or female we have to be discerning and consider stranger danger.
Also, I think that person sounds highly suspicious trying to make a connection with you going off such scant information as a mutual surname. 
Hopefully, you will have seen the last of them.  What a scary experience!

[Kiltpin]

I will admit "Guilty as Charged". 

I am descended from a Peter WHANNELL (pronounced WONNELL), who had 3 sons and 1 daughter. Most Whannells spell their names differently - Winel, Wanel, Wonel, all with or without extra Ns and/or Ls. There is even a large branch called WINDMILL. 

One day I was doing a Google search and found an Elector's Register with 4 WHANNELLs all in one property and only 18 miles from my front door. 

The temptation was too much. I printed out a descendant tree from the original Whannell to me. Put it all on CD and a thumb drive and armed with photo ID, off I went. 

I introduced myself with "Hi, I am descended from Peter Whannell of Ayr in Scotland and I think that we are related." The son called the father, who called the mother, who called the daughter. They had done some Family history, but had hit the proverbial brick wall. 

Between the 5 of us we believe that the original Whannell had another son, but in 1922 the IRA burnt down the National Library and Records Office. No records at all - not even a name. 

We still keep in touch  - Christmas cards and I went to the daughter's wedding.  Not quite the same, I know. But I had only 2 options - visit or write a letter. I chose to visit. 

Regards 

Chas

[CaroleW]

A stranger who had already been told was unconnected to your tree then takes the trouble to track you down a week later  - you have every right to be concerned.  😱😱

I wonder how the person who made the comment would have reacted in the same circumstances?

If he tries to contact you again in any way - I would be less than polite in my response.  It's a form of stalking.  I would also ensure you record any details you have of him

[rocala]

Thanks everyone for your input. I would like to remind people, that there is a lot of info out there in cyberspace. Recently I had a strange and worrying hunch about an ex-partner of mine. Strange in that we had split up 37 years previously.

Within half an hour, using Ancestry, Facebook and a few other sites, I knew that she had died and when. I knew her address too. Also that her brother and father had died, who she had married, and where she had worked. I also knew where her sister worked and the names of her grandchildren.

I am an amateur, imagine what a pro can do.